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  • Welcome to the Realm of Satan!

    Sadly, I don't know who originally wrote this, but Rapscallion was good enough to give me the go-ahead to repost this classic:

    Welcome to the Realm of Satan!
    My brother was working at a local Chinese restaurant that played piped Chinese music through their speakers. One day a co-worker of his was going to quit and prepared a just revenge on the annoying customers that frequent the restaurant and on the owners. My brother was called into the dining area to clean up a spill. All the sudden the piped in music stopped and some Slayer came on. The particular song that he chose began with "welcome to the realm of Satan". Right then as if on command an older couple of about 65 or so walked in. Their faces turned white upon hearing the song refrain, immediately turned and walked out of the restaurant. When my brother went back into the kitchen the now ex-employee was rolling on the floor in laughter while the owners stood there screaming at him in Chinese.

  • #2
    Oh my god. That is absolutely EPIC.
    If anyone breaks the three pint rule, they'll be running all night to the pisser and back.

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    • #3
      Not to threadjack from the awesomeness of that story, but if I were blasting Slayer over the PA, I'd go with "Seasons in the Abyss" instead. Just because of the awesome riffage.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        roflmao. Epic. Totally epic. Love it.

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        • #5
          Bra-vo!!! That was an epic WIN!!!
          I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
          Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
          Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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          • #6
            Oh, that's priceless.

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            • #7
              It does have a price: Your soul. Bon appetite.
              Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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              • #8
                Quoth Kristev View Post
                It does have a price: Your soul. Bon appetite.
                dammit! Coffee! Hot!

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                • #9
                  Thanks for making me cry, guys! (awesome...!)
                  "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
                  "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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                  • #10
                    That's epic! Best I ever had was a pub playing Slipknot before opening while I was working there. Great way to start the day...

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                    • #11
                      That. Is. Hilarious!
                      http://www.customerssuck.com/?m=20080203

                      My destiny is not pretty, but it's what my cutie mark is telling me.

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                      • #12
                        Wow, he did more than just burn down that bridge. He blew it up and seeded the area around it with landmines.

                        Still, that's an epic way to quit.
                        "Sigh, I'm going to Hell.....but I'm going with a smile on my face." -- Gravekeeper

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                          Not to threadjack from the awesomeness of that story, but if I were blasting Slayer over the PA, I'd go with "Seasons in the Abyss" instead. Just because of the awesome riffage.
                          Close your eyes look deep in your soul step outside yourself and let your mind go.
                          If anyone breaks the three pint rule, they'll be running all night to the pisser and back.

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