My vacation is so close I can smell it. It's in the AIR.
Me: Your change is eight dollars.
SC: I'd like eight hundred.
Me: I'm fairly certain we don't just keep that lying around.
SC: I didn't say eight hundred DOLLARS.
Me: Eight hundred pieces of poop then. I could probably wrangle that right up for ya.
SC: Uhm...pieces of copper?
Me: *picks up the donation thing which probably weighs around 15lbs and mainly pennies* Do you think you could catch it? Cause I'll throw it.
SC: My card doesn't have points on it. *goes on huge tirade about people on welfare and the system ripping people off.*
Ten minutes later.
SC: It still has points on it, I just got confused.
SC: I want to speak to a manager.
CW: We have a shift overseer.
SC: Good. Call him over.
CW: Uhm...I'll call...her.
Me: How can I help you.
SC: *appears inordinately shocked* You're......You're just a TINY KID!
Me: *internally explodes*
Woman: Are you open?
Me: Yes.
Woman: Are you going to take this other lady?
Me: She's getting lottery. I don't do lottery.
Woman: Oh...uhm. That's interesting.
Me: We try to NOT stand around being useless.
Me: *hands an SC 30 dollars in ones and 50 dollars in fives* We usually don't break 100s.
SC: [other company] is the same. I don't know how you guys do business.
Me: People don't usually bring them in and expect us to have eighty dollars since we could be robbed.
SC: Please, the company has insurance.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Uhhhh no. If I had bigger bills in my drawer to break this I could be FIRED. Insurance or not.
SC: .......*walks out.*
I was off the clock for this one:
SC: Do you just stand around and talk? Is that all you do?
Me: Yep. Even when I'm working obviously. Not that you'd know since you don't come in on my shift anymore.
SC: *slinks out*
He doesn't come in anymore because I sassed him so bad one time I think I embarrassed him.
CW: Do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: TWO PACKS OF SALEMS.
CW: *without moving* Do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: Uhhhh...no.
Me: *right in front of him* Sometimes I'd like to just shank people.
Snippets from my mouth:
Me: You have no idea the lengths I have to go to get men to stop talking to me. Telling them I'm into serial killers is better than the lesbian argument any day. Whenever I tell them I'm into chicks they just motion to their crotch and tell me it's because I haven't had THIS yet.
Me: I should just write it on the invoice. "I've seen your penis. All of the store has..." Girls don't ask for those pictures.
Me: We should get one of those stress man things with the popping eyes so we can hit it with a hammer on the counter in front of annoying people.
Me: The shit I find while sweeping the parking lot. *decorates hat with velcro body parts from a fabric Mr. Potato Head*
Me: Your change is eight dollars.
SC: I'd like eight hundred.
Me: I'm fairly certain we don't just keep that lying around.
SC: I didn't say eight hundred DOLLARS.
Me: Eight hundred pieces of poop then. I could probably wrangle that right up for ya.
SC: Uhm...pieces of copper?
Me: *picks up the donation thing which probably weighs around 15lbs and mainly pennies* Do you think you could catch it? Cause I'll throw it.
SC: My card doesn't have points on it. *goes on huge tirade about people on welfare and the system ripping people off.*
Ten minutes later.
SC: It still has points on it, I just got confused.
SC: I want to speak to a manager.
CW: We have a shift overseer.
SC: Good. Call him over.
CW: Uhm...I'll call...her.
Me: How can I help you.
SC: *appears inordinately shocked* You're......You're just a TINY KID!
Me: *internally explodes*
Woman: Are you open?
Me: Yes.
Woman: Are you going to take this other lady?
Me: She's getting lottery. I don't do lottery.
Woman: Oh...uhm. That's interesting.
Me: We try to NOT stand around being useless.
Me: *hands an SC 30 dollars in ones and 50 dollars in fives* We usually don't break 100s.
SC: [other company] is the same. I don't know how you guys do business.
Me: People don't usually bring them in and expect us to have eighty dollars since we could be robbed.
SC: Please, the company has insurance.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Uhhhh no. If I had bigger bills in my drawer to break this I could be FIRED. Insurance or not.
SC: .......*walks out.*
I was off the clock for this one:
SC: Do you just stand around and talk? Is that all you do?
Me: Yep. Even when I'm working obviously. Not that you'd know since you don't come in on my shift anymore.
SC: *slinks out*
He doesn't come in anymore because I sassed him so bad one time I think I embarrassed him.
CW: Do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: TWO PACKS OF SALEMS.
CW: *without moving* Do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: Uhhhh...no.
Me: *right in front of him* Sometimes I'd like to just shank people.
Snippets from my mouth:
Me: You have no idea the lengths I have to go to get men to stop talking to me. Telling them I'm into serial killers is better than the lesbian argument any day. Whenever I tell them I'm into chicks they just motion to their crotch and tell me it's because I haven't had THIS yet.
Me: I should just write it on the invoice. "I've seen your penis. All of the store has..." Girls don't ask for those pictures.
Me: We should get one of those stress man things with the popping eyes so we can hit it with a hammer on the counter in front of annoying people.
Me: The shit I find while sweeping the parking lot. *decorates hat with velcro body parts from a fabric Mr. Potato Head*
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