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  • #1

    Stupid issues with 'rodents'

    Theres no Clicky!

    One day I'm happily chatting with the resident nerds who never leave the shop and I got a call from a customer:

    ME: ME
    RC: Retarded Customer - old lady (shock horror, what a twist!)

    ME: Hello this is (company name), (Zeeko) speaking
    RC: Hi, I was wondering if you could help me, I bought a (i usually groan at his point) computer mouse from you..
    ME: OK...
    RC: The problem is that when I try to pull open programs its doesnt do anything
    ME: OK maam are you double clicking when the cursor is over the icon? (well expecting what are they?)
    RC: Oh heavens no, I'm doing it twice. Even on the Start Bar when I click once for the menu it isnt working.
    (Now Im starting to think there IS an issue with the mouse)

    So we go though some exercises, unplugging and plugging just to be sure the drivers are reading it fine (stupid simple issues first).

    So I ask her to try to right click on an icon (to narrow problem to left button) and here is what she said:

    RC: What right click there is only a single wheel to scroll...
    ME:

    Turns out this old duck has been scrolling back the scroll wheel to 'pull open' an application. My mind just fizzled out for a while and finally explained that the two "finger resting pads" on the sides of the wheel are in fact the buttons. I couldn't believe it!


    Round or Rectangle

    We get many customers asking for mouses for the office/home and we ask the usual question: "USB or PS/2 connection?" followed by a blank look for a moment, then we just give up and say "rectangle or round plug?"
    SC:What makes you think you can tell me how to do this?
    ME:Because I finished Pre-school, Elementary School, High School
    and College first time. Now: Red wire is positive.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Right... because there's no way at all that a MOUSE could use the SAME usb as OTHER peripherals...

    I can understand the confusion about the PS/2 though. I usually just ask if it's round or rectangular myself so I don't have to get that dumb look.
    Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.
    Dwight: Bears don't eat bee... Hey! What are you doing?
    The Office

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    • #3
      Quoth Shabo View Post
      Right... because there's no way at all that a MOUSE could use the SAME usb as OTHER peripherals...

      I can understand the confusion about the PS/2 though. I usually just ask if it's round or rectangular myself so I don't have to get that dumb look.
      Want to really mess with them? Throw serial into the mix (USB, PS/2, or Serial). Then ask, "Ball, laser, Optical, or trackball?" Then, just as the confusion and terror begin to set into their eyes, go for the throat.

      Ask for choice of color.

      Keep a mop handy. Head explosions are messy.
      The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
      "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
      Hoc spatio locantur.

      Comment

      • #4
        Wait wait wait. Colour? You get choice in colour now? When did that happen? I thought it was all black with silver trim, all the time!
        Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

        http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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        • #5
          Quoth Broomjockey View Post
          Wait wait wait. Colour? You get choice in colour now? When did that happen? I thought it was all black with silver trim, all the time!
          Nope. They all started out as beige. Black and silver is the new thing. Of course, there's also pink, red, blue, silver with black trim, etc...

          *gets open umbrella between him and the potential splattery brain-nuggets*
          ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
          And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

          Comment

          • #6
            I had one of those head-explody moments in a Claire's store in a mall. For those of you unfamiliar with the franchise, it's basically your one-stop-shop for all the cheap sparkly crap you could ever desire. (My friend was getting her ear pierced).

            Bright fake-bling-crystal encrusted mice. Pink. Owwww.

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth JustADude View Post
              Nope. They all started out as beige. Black and silver is the new thing. Of course, there's also pink, red, blue, silver with black trim, etc...

              *gets open umbrella between him and the potential splattery brain-nuggets*
              Don't forget about the ones that light up, too! Like the one by Sunbeam...

              *hides behind JustADude's umbrella*

              I don't think I ever had to deal with serial mice. They were all before my tech time, although I'm sure I was alive when they were being used.
              Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.
              Dwight: Bears don't eat bee... Hey! What are you doing?
              The Office

              Comment

              • #8
                Wait wait wait. Colour? You get choice in colour now? When did that happen? I thought it was all black with silver trim, all the time!
                I want mine with spinner rims and hydraulics!
                You can find me on Backloggery, Facebook, Twitch, Twitter, YouTube

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth gunsage View Post
                  I want mine with spinner rims and hydraulics!
                  Dunno about that, but my G5 has a set of weights for adjustable 'ballast' to put the center of mass exactly where you want it and keep it feather light or give it some heft (I chose hefty).
                  Last edited by JustADude; 12-12-2007, 04:00 AM.
                  ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
                  And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    I want the Saitek Cyborg mouse when it comes out. Its got adjustable SIZE! Finally, a mouse that won't disappear in my hand. As much.
                    Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                    http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth JustADude View Post
                      *gets open umbrella between him and the potential splattery brain-nuggets*
                      Just so you know, JustaDude, Splattery Brain-Nuggets is going to be the name of my Rockstar band now.
                      The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                      "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                      Hoc spatio locantur.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth JustADude View Post
                        Nope. They all started out as beige.*
                        Actually they started out being made of wood back in the Xerox research department days...but whos keeping track of this.

                        Asking for serial can be dangerous though, people thing the following are serial ports: Parrellel, VGA and gaming. I've been asked for a VGA to serial converter before...

                        As for mouse of choice - I still use an old microsoft intellimouse which I long ago replaced the main LED from red to blue and the backlight one to UV with a white mousepad. Oh and I chucked in an old and very small fan and drilled holes in the top to cool my hand...ah they days of 'beige, beige or off-white'
                        SC:What makes you think you can tell me how to do this?
                        ME:Because I finished Pre-school, Elementary School, High School
                        and College first time. Now: Red wire is positive.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth Zeeko View Post
                          I've been asked for a VGA to serial converter before...
                          ... "YOUR HEAD ASPLODE".

                          (cookie points for reference!)
                          Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.
                          Dwight: Bears don't eat bee... Hey! What are you doing?
                          The Office

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth Broomjockey View Post
                            Finally, a mouse that won't disappear in my hand. As much.
                            I've managed to aquire a rather large microsoft trackball that is HUGE, much more comfortable, however is inly on my computer, not this one.
                            A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Impetrix View Post
                              I had one of those head-explody moments in a Claire's store in a mall.
                              Yes, the home of the ear piercing screwups. I did my time there.
                              SC: “Yeah, Bob’s Company. I'm Bob. It's my company.” - GK
                              SuperHotelWorker made my Avi!!

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