More fun with the PA system

[fireheart]

Car Wash would be hilarious actually.

And today, I got a new one, from the groceries manager, who was manning the front desk while my manager went off to do something or other.

"<manager> can you please return to your desk?" (meaning the servce desk)
My manager replies with something garbled. (I think it sounded like <other manager> can you please man the tills or something like that)
"can the <insert uniform colour here> man please return to the front desk?"
Me:
Manager who was returning from his errand:

[draftermatt]

When I worked at the truck store we had a PA for phone calls and such. The owner and the managers were all, well assholes, except for my manager and the one service guy.

End of the night comes and it's me, parts coworker, a few mechanics who were taking forever to get cleaned up and the cool service manager.

My coworker is outside brining a part from the warehouse so he doesn't have to get it in the morning (and because we had to wait for the mechanics to leave before we could).

I get on the PA

"Attention **** Truck Center shoppers (think "attention K-mart shoppers) and employees it is now 5 minutes past closing. What the hell are you still doing here? Get out!"

My coworker comes to the front laughing his ass off, the manager and mechanic's never made a comment to me directly about it.

[sarasquirrel]

ive played various sound clips over the PA but when the store is closed...well in my old store, havent done it yet in my new store. but i should. i think ill play the monday night football theme...though it would be better for monday,, i had monday off.

ive played from seinfeld

"why dont you just tell me the name of the movie you selected"
"but i dont wanna be a pirate!"
"kramer you cant go! whos gonna to the feats of strength?..."how bout george?"...good thinking cougar"
2 stupid dogs
"what do you say boys cash or charge?....charge it! charge it!!....sollllllllllllllllllllld"
"ehhhhhhhh charge it"
football
"im a man! im forty!"
"hello! you play to win the game!"
"playoffs??"

[RestaurantDude]

We have a PA that can be heard from within the bar area.

When there are no customers in the place:
"Donner, party of 30, your table is ready... Donner, party of 30. "
"Attention The Restaurant customers... The Restaurant is now closed... Please get the fuck out!"
After taking a hit from a helium balloon left from a party "It's a small world after all... It's a small wor..." or "Follow the yellow brick road", etc...
"The NY Mega Millions Jackpot is now Thirty Million dollars!"

When an employee breaks a glass behind the bar:
"Cleanup in housewares!"

When someone parks somewhere they shouldn't have:
"Attention, to the owner of the BMW X5 parked in the fire zone... Your vehicle has been towed"

Extra credit for getting a fellow employee to gaffaw their after-shift beer.

[fireheart]

My supervisor yesterday wished everyone a Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day over the PA system at closing time.

[mattm04]

My supervisor yesterday wished everyone a Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day over the PA system at closing time.

Beat the Deli employee who make a announcement about some special they were having in pirate with customers in the store. Most customers and employees were laughing hysterically.

[RestaurantDude]

Oh balls... I missed Talk Like a Pirate Day again.

[fireheart]

Oh balls... I missed Talk Like a Pirate Day again.

A friend of mine and his girlfriend (who's one of my supervisors) did a pub crawl for Talk Like A Pirate Day and got dressed up for it too.
I almost suggested to my boyfriend that we should've joined in next year (he's into Vikings though so not nearly as much)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

One of our former front-end monitors used to give us the all-clear at closing every night thusly:

"It's Miller Time."

[fireheart]

Today's funny call consisted of my manager contradicting himself over a PA call.
this was a closing call that was greeted with "good afternoon customers and welcome to <store> and then going into his usual closing spiel

[Javarod]

I suppose i should admit to the funny one i'd done, which i'd forgotten about. I was a DSD receiver at WalMart, and was the only one there as my boss was out. So i was trying to page a department back for their stuff while running around the work area doing other things. Problem was that the phone cord caught on something, causing the phone still connected to the PA (heck, i was in the middle of my page) to take off, hitting the floor, sliding across it, and hitting the roll up door with a fair amount of force. Whoops. Oh, and then i was laughing pretty hard after that while trying to finish the announcement. Yeah, that must've been interesting to hear.

[crashhelmet]

When i worked at the casino, I'd get on the PA to embarrass the hell out of people on their birthdays. Usually employees or regulars that were cool enough to let me do it. The best part about it is i would do it in a similar style to Michael Buffer and his ring announcing.

CH

[fireheart]

Latest call from tonight:

"Can Attila (as in the Hun) and <coworker> please report to backdock?"

[thatcrazyredhead]

When I worked at Sears, one of my co-workers once paged a manager in a voice that sounded like an impression of William Shatner as a game show host, "Would <manager> please come on down!!! To the men's cashwrap." The manager told him it was freaking funny but not to do it again.

Also at Sears, a different co-worker liked to hand the phone to a new employee and say they had a phone call when really he had dialed into the intercom. The new employee would say, "Hello? Hello?" until they realized they were speaking to the whole store.

Not quite an intercom story, but at the same job the cashiers also figured out how to page through the speaker phone in a different cashwrap. I'd be ringing up customers when a deep voice would come through the phone and say things like, "Hello. This is God" whenever the guys in shoes were bored.

[Crossbow]

"Attention *former computer store* shoppers, the time is now 9:20 and we have been closed for 20 minutes. In five minutes, we will be releasing the dogs. Thank you."

I didn't realize we actually still had customers in the store....

I had co-workers barking at me for weeks.