Your package cannot be delivered...

[TheSHAD0W]

...because it has been eaten by an alligator.

http://consumerist.com/2010/03/amazo...alligator.html

[AccountingDrone]

My friend Chris used to be stationed at Mount Muppet\\\\\Moffat Radio communications Facility on Adak Island, off in the Allieutians [it was closer to Russia than the rest of the US] and the CO of the base had his brand new mercedes roll off the barge bringing it to the island in rough seas