Next Food Network Star

[firecat88]

Anyone else watch it? The new season started today...and, I must say, I've never seen more whiny, backstabby pains in the ass all on one TV show. So far, there are only....3 or 4 of them from this year's selection that I actually like.

[Jester]

Watch this show every season, and love it. And I have a few comments on this season's contestants.

First the good:

Orchid to me seems to be the clear favorite to win it all. She's a good cook, has a great personality, is relaxed and comfortable in front of the camera, and has a quiet confidence that exudes authority and expertise. She's the one to beat, if you ask me.

Whitney is also pretty awesome, and has kind of a Rachael Ray look to her, and just seems like fun.

Susie is also fun, and seems to know what she's doing.

Jyll seems to be a good person with some good ideas, but her selflessness almost cost her, and sadly, her experience with Howie may have hurt that very same selflessness that made her so likable. We'll see.

And Jeff is hilarious and seems to be all about having fun and making things around him entertaining. Yeah, I identify with the comedian. Your point?

And now the bad:

I like Alicia. I do. And not just because she's, well, hot, but because she's kind of fun. In a crazy way. Sadly, that is her downfall as well...she clearly is going to be the emotional basket case this season. If you don't know that you have to project your voice when you are doing tv, you are already done.

Vic Vegas seems nice enough, and his food doesn't look bad. But to not plate the food TWICE in TWO challenges? That confidence he talked about early on is looking more and more like false bravado. I could not be on this show for the very simple reason of time management. This is clearly a problem for Vic as well.

Juba seems like he knows what he's doing foodwise, but is just completely lost in front of the camera, and is just way too nervous to make this work. But he seems to be a nice enough fellow.

Unlike Chris, who is a Jersey Shore-esque Grade A Douchebag. Hey Chris? Fuck you. You suck, your attitude sucks, and your whole schtick sucks. And while I have no problem with you picking up some beer if you're under budget, trying to strongarm your teammate into compromising on an ingredient so that you can get said beer is beyond ridiculous. I plan on drinking a victory beer of my own when you're finally and deservedly eliminated, meathead. Oh, and by the way? Fuck you.

Next to Meathead Chris, I hate Penny the most. Now, normally you would think I would enjoy a woman who goes out of her way to expose her cleavage whenever and wherever possible, and normally, you would be absolutely correct. But Penny is just a whiny, bitchy, obnoxious, annoying pain in the ass. She's a reject from the cast of Real Housewives of Duluth, Des Moines, Decatur, or some other place that starts with "duh." You want to bring sexy back in the kitchen, huh? Have you NOT seen Giada? Sexy is understated, not overbearing, darlin'.

And then there's Howie. *sigh* You would think as a former broadcasting major and DJ, I would be pulling for this guy. I thought I would be too. But he can't cook, he can't give credit where credit is due, and he tried to throw a teammate who bailed his ass out repeatedly under the bus. And...he was the first cut. Too bad, so sad. Later, traitor.

[firecat88]

I could not have said all that better myself if I had a week to write it. However, I actually felt kinda bad for Vic. Murphy's Law was not that dude's friend and I'm pretty sure the only thing that saved him from being the first to go was the fact that Howie (who I wanted to reach through the screen and beat over the head with a frozen halibut the minute he went into the mode of 'Do this and this and this and this for me.') can't actually cook worth a damn.

Honestly, I cannot stand Penny either. You could almost make a drinking game of how often she says 'sexy'. Anyone who needs to try that hard? Yeah, not sexy. She belongs on the show Mafia Wives, where she would fit right in with the rest of the annoying, shrill harpies.

I hope she goes home next. Her or Mr. I'm-Such-A-Cocky-Piece-of-Crap-That-I'm-Gonna-Buy-Victory-Beers-Before-I've-Even-Won. Juba I'm kinda on the fence about, and Alicia....I didn't think it was possible for anyone to be more of an emotional basket case than I am.

[Jester]

Okay, with Vic it was only Murphy's Law the second time around. The first time, he just wasn't organized enough. I mean, seriously, how do you lose your main ingredient?

As for Howie, if Jyll had gone home because she helped his lame ass out, I would have reached through the tv myself, grabbed that frozen halibut from you, and shoved it up his WHO ME? I mean, seriously dude, I understand that you are admitting you are not the best cook. And I even get that you needed some help. But A. don't ask every five seconds for something basic like a bowl or ice, and B. if you do, don't you DARE say that the only help she gave you was, and I quote, "15 seconds." You join Chris in the "FUCK YOU!" department with that bush league maneuver.

To Penny's credit, she gave full credit to Alicia for the pear dish. Probably because she didn't think much of it, but whatever. Alicia, sadly, did not take full responsibility for that dish, as she should have, because SHE thought that it may have fallen short, even though she knew she had nailed it. Like the girl a lot, but she is a basket case, almost as bad as that one loony tune in a past season, Zdenia or something like that. Now SHE was a whack job!

And Chris....well, I don't mind someone being cocky, and even buying victory beers before they've won, if they are in fact under budget. But to actually try to get his teammate to buy a lesser chocolate for her dish JUST so he could get the beer? LAME-O!

My hit list is short and simple: Chris and Penny. They both need to GO. And frankly, I think they both will. I think it's one thing when someone is cocky and arrogant when they actually have the talent to back it up, such as Marcel or Asian Dale from Top Chef. But these two really aren't that great in the kitchen. So buh bye to both of them. The sooner the better. They both just annoy the piss out of me, even more than Marcel ever did.

[firecat88]

but she is a basket case, almost as bad as that one loony tune in a past season, Zdenia or something like that. Now SHE was a whack job!

Dzintra. And, yes, she was an absolute whack-o-doodle. I was very happy to see her go. Her and that diva who couldn't come up with a good backstory about her food to save her life...and who apparently had no idea how to cook for kids. Spicy chorizo taquitos for a 6-year-old's birthday party?

[Jester]

FINALLY! Chris and Penny booted in the same show! WOO HOO!

Now, Penny could certainly cook, and I would actually love to eat her food, but I think she may have been the biggest bitch to ever "grace" this particular show. Frankly, it seemed like she was a reject from the cast of "Real Housewives and Cougars of the San Fernando Valley," or somesuch. And Chris was immature to the point of being a caricature of himself, or of a Jersey boy/frat boy combo.

As one of the other contestants remarked, "Chris and Penny are now gone, so now the drama's gone."

Thank goodness!

[CorneliaMarieRocks]

AMEN! I couldn't stand Penny, thank God the bitch is gone...I dunno about you two, but I'm kinda rootin' for Susie to win (or Whitney, either one) but one thing I can guarantee is they'll probably put the finalists through a mock ICA battle like they did last year...Can't wait!

[firecat88]

Oh, I'm rooting for either Suzy or Vic to win (yes, my mom and I are two of the few people who actually like Vic). Jyll, if the risotto thing is any indication, is probably leaving either next week or the week after. Mary Beth I'm not sure about. Jeff...amuses the hell outta me, I won't lie. I'm hoping he goes into the final four. As for Whitney, I personally cannot stand her. Lately, I've been finding her painfully annoying for some reason.

Very glad that Chris and Penny are gone. Weirdly, I called it after the dinner segment ended. I said to myself 'Meathead and Penny', and I was right. 'course, I've been saying for weeks now that neither of them would ever win. Chris had the IQ of a dry sponge and Penny...let's face it. Even if she *did* win, no one would watch her show after seeing her on this competition.

[Jester]

...one thing I can guarantee is they'll probably put the finalists through a mock ICA battle like they did last year...

Almost a guarantee. Haven't they done some form of ICA battle just about every season of NFS?

Penny...let's face it. Even if she *did* win, no one would watch her show after seeing her on this competition.

The "Real Housewives" shows say you're wrong. And believe it or not, I think Penny had a chance to eventually warm up to the camera, as her competitive spirit is what made her so bitchy to her fellow contestants. And let's face it....Penny really could cook, unlike Chris. I hate to admit, because I really couldn't stand her, but she definitely had the food chops. From just a culinary standpoint, she's one of the ones (along with Susie) whose food I would want to eat the most...as long as I didn't have to deal with her personally. (Susie cooks Mexican food, Penny Middle Eastern. While I love Middle Eastern food, I'm from Arizona. Do the math.)

As for those who are left....

Susie (Suzy?): Love her. I would hit on her in a heartbeat if I met her. Love her spirit, love her take on food, love her creativity.

Whitney: Like her a lot. Can't wait for next week's show when she and Rachael Ray are standing next to each other. Because, let's face it, the resemblance is bordering on creepy. And I honestly think if she would get the stick out of her ass and stop being such a control freak, she could actually do this.

Jyll: Love her, wish she could get her act together. The risotto thing was, as she put it, "mortifying." Her composure was impressive, and yet the panel seemed to hold it against her that she didn't crack. To Wolfgang's credit, he was impressed with that.

Jeff: He's the funny guy, and he can cook. Of course I'm rooting for him--he's ME!

Vic: I'm warming up to Vin Diesel--er, uh, Vic Vegas, but he doesn't make me want to watch him on a regular basis. But he has potential.

Mary Beth: I hate to say this, but Zzzzzzzz.....she's a snoozer. Pleasant enough, but boring. Now that the Drama Queen and the Frat Boy are gone, this is the closest I can come to rooting against someone.

[CorneliaMarieRocks]

Almost a guarantee. Haven't they done some form of ICA battle just about every season of NFS?

To be quite honest, I'm not sure....I've only been watching the past 2 seasons, but I'm sure they've thrown the last few into Kitchen Stadium at least once...I wish Food Network would re-run past seasons b/c I'd really like to see Season 2 I think it was? Where Guy Fieri won

I know we're talking about NFNS here, but I personally can't wait until The Next Iron Chef new season premieres...Robert Irvine, Anne Burrell & others I can't remember the names of are competing this year, it's gonna be awesome

BTW, Jes, when are we gonna see YOU compete in Kitchen Stadium?? Which Iron Chef would you pick to battle with?

[Jester]

BTW, Jes, when are we gonna see YOU compete in Kitchen Stadium?? Which Iron Chef would you pick to battle with?

Never. For two simple reasons. First, while I can cook, I am very, very slow in the kitchen. My knife skills are hilarious, and I have no speed. I mean, NONE. You think I'm kidding? The prep for my chili, before I cook a single thing (other than the bacon in the oven) takes me TWO HOURS. Just cutting shit up! Secondly, while I can be creative, I can't be creative that fucking fast. Okay, so the secret ingredient is bacon, and now I have an hour to think of and cook five amazing recipes with it? Fuck that. I'd need an hour for ONE recipe, and that's just to think it up!

Now, if I actually had some speed and faster creative juices, I would love to go against any Iron Chef, but a few stand out...

Morimoto: Is there anyone more creative?
Flay: I'd love to wipe that smirk off his face...and we both deal a lot with Southwestern dishes.
Cora: Hey, she's hot. And she does a shot after every battle. My kind of woman!

[CorneliaMarieRocks]

Aww, dang, I was really hopin'...Ah, well, I fantasize I suppose lol

I absolutely LOVE to watch Bobby on ICA, heck, I even have all of his battles to date downloaded to my computer...AND my mom & I got to meet him in person at a book signing in Atlanta last year...He's pretty nice & down to earth, got my pic taken with him too

You think the time on ICA is bad? You ever watch "Chopped"?? Now that's nerve wracking

[Jester]

I'd like to think I could do Chopped, but I know without question I couldn't. Hell, I watch professionally-trained and working chefs look at some of these ingredients and go Although I was amused during the episode where one of the secret ingredients was pickled cow's tongue, and a couple of the chefs were lost, and I knew exactly what it was!

I think I would do decently in a Chopped-like competition with other home cooks, but again, speed is not one of my strong points. Hell, in the time it takes some of these Chopped chefs to make an appetizer, I would still be chopping onions and mincing garlic!

[CorneliaMarieRocks]

What about "Food Network Challenge"? I know you said in one of your past threads that baking/desserts isn't your thing, so let's say it was just regular food...Like that one episode that Vic Vegas was on where it was a bunch of Italian families...I'm sure you could do something like that, maybe make your world famous chili

See, you're like me, when I prep, I don't like to rush, I like to take my time...Now, I can get a full meal on the table in under an hour if I had to, but if I'm not crunched for time, then meh. Although, I'd kill to sous chef for Bobby on ICA just once lol

[AdminAssistant]

Anne Burrell? I'd say she has a bit of an advantage over the others in an Iron Chef competition. She was Mario Batali's sous chef during his ICA tenure. Although Ming Tsai didn't win the last competition, and he's 1) had a Food Network show and 2) been on Iron Chef.