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Round ≠ sphere

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  • Round ≠ sphere

    Got this lovely gem the other day...

    Cast:

    PP--Pertinacious Patron
    Me--

    Setting: Call center in the midwest, shortly before lunch.

    Me: [company] this is Deevil, how may I help you?

    PP: I place an order the other day and just got it and I have a problem.

    Me: I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have your order number or invoice number handy?

    (get info and verify account)

    Me: And what was the issue with your order?

    PP: I ordered some Christmas ornaments and when they came they were all in half.

    (looking for the item expecting that they were the type that snap together and you can put stuff inside)

    Me: Was that the do it yourself round flat clear christmas ornaments?

    PP: Yes. They were supposed to be round, but they are not, I need my money back.

    Me: So you thought they would be a sphere but they aren't. Is that correct?

    PP: Yes.

    Me: Okay, I can set up a return for you.

    PP: I don't see why I have to return them, the description was misleading. Can't you just credit the account?

    Me: No, I'm sorry to issue a credit you will need to return them.

    PP: Do I got to pay to return it?

    Me: Yes, you will be responsible for the return shipping, but you can chose whichever method works the best for you.

    PP: I am not going to pay to return them. Ornaments are supposed to be round, not flat. I have never heard of ornaments being anything other than round.

    Me: I'm sorry, but since the item actually has has the word flat in its title, you will be need to pay to return them if you want a refund.

    PP: It's misleading. I showed the catalog to several people and they all agreed. NOBODY would be able to know they are flat. I'm not gonna pay to return them. Just give me my money back.

    Me: We cannot just credit your account, you will need to return the ornaments before we will issue a credit.

    PP: It would cost me more to send them back than what I paid for them! (not true unless it was sent 1-day express or something) Fine, I am just never going to buy from you guys again, and I am going to tell everybody what a scam you are running. You can ask anybody and they would said that an ornament is round--a sphere--not flat.

    Me: So would you like me to set up a return or not then?

    PP: (Rinse and repeat same arguments until customer stops for air)

    Me: Tell, you what if you don't want to return them, I can get you sent out a $10 merchandise certificate which can be used towards a future order*, would that work for you?

    PP: If that's the best you can do, I guess...but I am not happy.

    Me: Okay. That will be arriving in the mail in about a week.


    * slightly less that what was spent on the ornaments and can only be used with our company...so IMO it was a good compromise to get her off the phone.

  • #2
    Yeah; with the word "flat" right there in the name, I can see how that would be confusing to everybody in SC-land. Including all her imaginary "friends". I can't imagine they are real friends because who would put up with such a bore? I'm having trouble picturing somebody that would not back away slowly if I went on a rant about a recent catalog order.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm with the customer on this one. It said 'flat' on the packaging, but when the ornaments came, they were flat, just like it said they would be. I can definitely see how this is misleading!

      I do love sarcasm

      Comment


      • #4
        I have no idea what delusional world this woman lives in, but I have flat disk ornaments that have embossed images on them. It would probably blow that empty space she and her friends call a "mind," to learn that I have ornaments shaped as SWANS. SWANS!! Mine must then be the most unnatural of ornaments!

        Seriously, it had FLAT in the item title, which she admits to! So... she read it, but since her delusional world doesn't allow for any ornaments but spherical, they will surely be spherical!
        If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

        Comment


        • #5
          I was picturing a lot of this conversation in the voice of Sheldon Cooper. Especially the "ornaments are supposed to be round, not flat" bit.

          Quoth raudf
          I have no idea what delusional world this woman lives in, but I have flat disk ornaments that have embossed images on them. It would probably blow that empty space she and her friends call a "mind," to learn that I have ornaments shaped as SWANS. SWANS!! Mine must then be the most unnatural of ornaments!
          She, too, would be appalled by my collection. Most of mine are reflective of my family's life, much of which are not spherical.
          Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
          Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
          Fiancee: What?!
          Me: Nevermind.

          Comment


          • #6
            These would absolutely blow her little mind.
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

            Comment


            • #7
              She was just trying a scam. If Deevil caved and gave the credit, she gets free product.

              Get's a gift certificate, amounts to the same thing.

              Sucky Customer won this one
              They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

              Comment


              • #8
                Reminds me of a woman I once sold a vintage book to online. When she received it, she felt the need to complain that it smelled "old." Did she want to return the book? No. Did she want a refund? No She just wanted to complain and tell me she was disappointed that her vintage book smelled old. I think sometimes people complain just for the sake of complaining.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
                  She was just trying a scam. If Deevil caved and gave the credit, she gets free product.

                  Get's a gift certificate, amounts to the same thing.

                  Sucky Customer won this one
                  But it wasn't a total win for her. I got the feeling she was on the verge of asking for a supervisor. If she had in all likelihood she would have got a full credit without having to return the ornaments as a "one time courtesy". At least with the certificate she has to actually buy something from us within a year or she loses out. Plus I left notes detailing the issue, so if she called back trying to get somebody that would give her a credit, she would (hopefully) be SOL.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    OMFG what a moron! I have many flat ornaments, and many in shapes OTHER than round. I think she was just either stupid, or a scammer.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      But the description WAS misleading. They were described as "flat". Not only were they glossy, but when I tried to use one as a surface plate the irregularities made it useless for the purpose.
                      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth MoonCat View Post
                        These would absolutely blow her little mind.
                        We had some just like these when I was a kid! Many moons ago.
                        "They gave me a badge with my name on it. In case I forget who I am." Dr Who - Closing Time

                        "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage-Mythbusters

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