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  • #16
    Quoth uknz76 View Post
    "Actually I'm gay. What room are you in?" The guy freaked and left. I've never seen him since.


    Perfect answer

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    • #17
      Thaks for all of your replies. I am going to tell management about it. Next time he comes in, I'm going to conveniently take a break in the back room or go to the kroger to get a diet coke.

      One of the things I like about my stroe is that it is small, but in this case it isn't a good thing. The employees are me, Kevin, and swordsman422, so I can't break if we're busy at the time. Why can't attractive ppl hit on me? This guy is old, smoker, body odor, covered in dirt...not just any dirt, Georgia red clay kind of dirt which makes it 10 times worse, he has a freakin' MULLET for christ sake, and he missing several teeth! His name is perfect for him too...(btw the first name of the NASCAR driver that died in one of his races a couple years ago. The southerners regard him as a saint...).

      I wish I could have my Dad stand behind the counter with me. He's an old, gnarly, onery biker, who is VERY protective(and was raised catholic. hard-core second generation irish catholic). In highschool, my friends didn't want to came over because my dad was, "scary looking". If R said those things to me in front of my dad...omg...he would not be happy. I can think of two things happening, he either tells Kevin to get his act together and defend me, or he takes it upon himself to call all of his friends to give R just what he's asking for. My dad is the president of a motorcycle chapter, so he has a lot of friends that are as old school as he is.

      The funny thing is, while I have just described him as some kind of scary deviant, all of his friends call him...get this...Fuzz. It started when he was my age. Think Hyde from "That 70's Show". That was what my dad looked like.
      Check out my cosplay social group!
      http://customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=18

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      • #18
        Dads are good for that. Men see me out and about with my father, they never look at me twice.

        I actually made this story up a few years ago when I was drunk as a pathetic attempt of getting rid of an unwanted suitor. When a guy is hopelessly hitting on me and whatnot, I always say,

        "Just so you know, my dad once killed a bear with his own two hands."

        If they don't believe that, I tell the rest of the "story". It's mainly about an "outing" that involved a wrong turn in the summer of '81 and my dad and his friends lived off that bear's meat for a week.
        You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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        • #19
          The first incident I don't see anything wrong with...but the second incident was definitely skeevy.

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          • #20
            Quoth GayleShy View Post
            My grandparents said absolutely nothing about that. In fact, they just sat there smiling as if he'd said something very funny. I was sickened and pissed off that they didn't find that at all disgusting.
            I imagine that they were so shocked that they were speechless. I've been in situations where someone says something so blatant that I can only sit there grinning, thinking "surely they didn't just say that? I must have heard it wrong." I'm not saying it's right, but it has happened with me (different type of blatant comment, but still shocking).

            I agree about going to management about Redneck. A little flirting, while still gross, is to be expected (shouldn't be, but is) in such a male dominated environment, but the exacto knife comment went way over the line, and implies violence.

            *holding back a big feminist rant*
            Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

            Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
            ~Oscar Wilde

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            • #21
              What if you work in an enviornment that is almost 50% male and 50% female, where higher ups and bigwigs are both men and women?

              I guess it's because all the maintenance men are males.....
              You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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              • #22
                Quoth wagegoth View Post
                MM was beautiful, seriously, like Nefertiti's bust beautiful, and had a figure I would kill for, not porn star, more like curvy slim. [I am so jealous. Back to the story.] The supervisor stands there, checking out her shape, practically drooling, completely looking her up and down and the look on his face was just gross. The salesman was embarrassed, MM is creeped out, and I'm getting pissed. I told MM to go back on her break, just so she could leave.

                We reported it to HR, and they called the vendor and told them that the supervisor was no longer welcome in our office. His behavior was just so blatant and over the top it was crazy.
                Sorry but I gotta say this..why didn't she just say "hey you are making me uncomfortable?" instead of just immediately reporting it to HR.

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                • #23
                  Quoth kibbles View Post
                  Sorry but I gotta say this..why didn't she just say "hey you are making me uncomfortable?" instead of just immediately reporting it to HR.
                  Because reporting it to HR makes it stop, as the story indicated, and telling the skeeves that they made you uncomfortable usually ends up encouraging them for their next ogle-palooza? That's been my experience at least.


                  edit for clarity: I'm a guy who's worked in female-dominated places the last few years so this has come up a time or two in my travels.
                  "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

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                  • #24
                    Probably because of the reason most people won't come right out and say it, because they are so embarrased they don't know what to do until half an hour after it happens.
                    Check out my cosplay social group!
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                    • #25
                      I'm not saying this to start a fight with anyone specific since I've seen various females on the board speak along these lines, BUT:

                      How self- centered and a stuck up snob do you have to be for you to think that only men you find attractive should/would be allowed to hit on you?

                      Or, to be a bit gentler in my bluntness:

                      It would be ok for these guys to flirt if you found them handsome and dashing? R is out of luck because you don't like the way he looks? (That last one is the only one directed at just GP and her "why can't attractive people hit on me" comment).

                      What if you were a mousy haired, makeup-less, acne-scarred, toothless, unhygenic, mental moo-cow with the personality of a retarded goat? Would you expect guys to hit on you? Would you WANT guys to hit on you? Would you be glad that you never got hit on, ever, unlike all the other girls that society considered prettier than you?

                      There are a lot of guys that are pigs, granted. There are also pigs amongst the womenfolk (as evidenced by many a thread here, namely in the coworkers section). But some people aren't piggish so much as awkward and lacking in the politer social skills that some of us have a basic grasp of.

                      It takes a bigger person to speak directly to another and work on the problem with them directly than it does to run off and tattle to a superior. And it takes an even bigger person than that to take a situation such as this and turn it into a happy ending for everyone, even the person that the problem originated with.

                      I bite my tongue a lot on here, because I don't like contention. I'm fairly certain I'm going to get flamed and maybe a mail from a mod about going back to biting my tongue, but this is something that really burns me up---people who have to deal with people in a professional capacity, but won't learn how to handle people for the people they are.

                      I once had a MAD magazine comic short taped to my computer. In it was a pretty girl just going on and on and on about how these guys won't leave her alone, and next to her was a mousy looking gal, thinking to herself how she wished she'd get hit on just once. I guess only the really pretty girls bitch about getting hit on?

                      Just my 2 cents. I'll go now.
                      ...how do used tampons attract thieves? ---Sleepwalker

                      Chickens are Asexual!

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                      • #26
                        I'd be more than happy to detour all the unwanted males to any woman who is desperate to be hit on or asked for her number. She can have them all.
                        You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                        • #27
                          I think it's an entitlement issue, which we are all familiar with here. Many men feel they are entitled to make comments to or about any woman they choose. They don't take into account the woman's feelings or the position they place her in with their behavior.

                          The situation with the receptionist was reported to HR so that the voice of the company could tell the vendor with authority that their representative was no longer welcome and exactly why, although the salesman was welcome to return. If the vendor loses business they will do something about the employee.

                          Having worked in labor law, I can tell you that this behavior can and often does escalate if management does nothing about it.

                          Personally, I've been through it myself, and the guy did know my husband, and the fact that my husband could have broken him in two did not stop him. Nothing stopped him. It just happened that I was moving away so it became moot. It was also 20 years ago, when things were different, and the attitude of "boys will be boys" was much more prevalent. I did tell my supervisor about the incident that got physical, and he changed the guy's shift, but that was it.

                          I didn't tell my husband about it until after we moved 250 miles away, and never told him about the severity, just that so-and-so had hit on me, as we really needed my job at the time. We were moving because we had to for my husband to get another job.

                          Yeah, it's easy to laugh and play it off when you've got a bunch of other people around who are witnesses and can protect you, it's not easy if you're the only person in the store or on the shift with someone like this to deal with.
                          Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                          HR believes the first person in the door
                          Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                          Document everything
                          CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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                          • #28
                            Let's make it fair, wagegoth. There are few (many many less than men, but there still are a few) women who do the exact same thing to men. Although I think men love the attention and the ego boost.

                            Perhaps it is part of the male psyche to believe they are entitled to say whatever they want to any woman they want, and maybe some are even dimented enough to think women are going to like it and be tickled over it.
                            You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                            • #29
                              blas, that actually happened to a man that was in a department supervised by my mother-in-law. The offender was a woman who was a step above the guy and a step below my MIL. The man happily transferred to another area under my MIL, and the offender was warned about all that could befall her if she continued her behavior, which she was smart enough to stop.

                              I don't think there's anything wrong with looking, because, please, it's normal, it's biological, my husband's going to do it, I'm going to do it, but staring, ogling, making comments, especially off-color or threatening comments, especially in the hearing of the person being discussed, and physical contact, are completely unacceptable.

                              There have been men I've worked with that whenever they walked by, all the females (and the gay men) would just turn and look at each other like, "OMG." But we never said anything rude, we never touched the person, we would never consider doing anything that would make the guy uncomfortable or embarrassed. I like to consider some people living works of art, lovely to look at, never to be touched, and not to be engaged except as in the normal course of business.

                              blas, those maintenance guys need to be informed about the unacceptability of their behavior, but they'll probably never listen to you. You have to be able to say back off politely but clearly, then be ready to report anyone who doesn't. Some males respond badly when a woman yells and/or swears at them. The entitlement mindset causes them to believe that a woman that behaves that way needs to be shown her place, and this can involve physical attacks.

                              If you can't even feel comfortable while cleaning up an open wound, then how comfortable are you going to feel any time you have to go to a less populous area of the factory? It's out of line, unacceptable, and probably illegal.
                              Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                              HR believes the first person in the door
                              Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                              Document everything
                              CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                The worst part about it was some fellow women at work heard me bitch about him before and I was told "Oh you just have to ignore him. He LOVES girls, and that's just the way he is. He loves all women and it's just how he is!"

                                No. I will not accept being oogled at by some furry fat old man, much less have him in my bubble or asking to kiss my bleeding finger.

                                I don't care if he LOVES girls. What he does is unprofessional and goes above and beyond just being attracted to the female gender.

                                I mean, I LOVE boys....but does that mean I sexually harass every young man I see at every store I frequent or does that mean I sexually harass young male coworkers? NO.
                                Last edited by blas; 06-10-2007, 12:05 AM.
                                You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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