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WHERE DO YOU GET MIND READING POWERS??

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  • #1

    WHERE DO YOU GET MIND READING POWERS??

    Do I pay a sciencetist or roll in radiation? I mean, come on already.

    Guy comes in and asks where we keep the clocks. I tell him. He comes back and says he can't find them. So I go show him and he responds with, "You dumb bitch. I wanted to know the time. You can't tell me that?"

    Plankton's ever so reliable smart ass mouth replies with, " Oh. I'm sorry, sir. Maybe next time, you could be more specific in what you ACTUALLY want."

    Gawd, what a jackass.

    Also had a customer trying to slide his crisp twenty dollar bill in the card machine. Confused, he hands the twenty to me and says, " I'm so fucking high, man. My bad.... "

    Mmmkkkay then......

    And now I'm going home for a bubble bath and wine and candles.

    And lots of chocolate.
    No ma'am. I'm sorry, I cannot control the temperature. We're in hell, that's why.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Plankton78 View Post
    Guy comes in and asks where we keep the clocks. I tell him. He comes back and says he can't find them. So I go show him and he responds with, "You dumb bitch. I wanted to know the time. You can't tell me that?"
    Never put up with that kind of abuse. No matter what any manager or anybody else wants to say, the law does not allow that kind of treatment of any employee. I'm not saying you should give him the bitch slapping he deserves, but you can take a stern tone and tell him "Sir, that kind of language is unacceptable, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store".

    But enjoy the chocolate, it makes everything better
    D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
    Quoth = Crossbow "EvilHomer, Irv, Gravekeeper, and Seraph: the Four Horsemen of the Dumbpocalypse."

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    • #3
      What that first man said and did was completely unacceptable. He asked you where the clocks were. You told him. He couldn't fine them. So you went out of your way to lead him to the clocks... and that's how he repays you. He must have baited you, really. Because why didn't he just ask you for the time? Another bully, finding any means to insult someone who works in the service industry.

      Comment

      • #4
        Well there's the Jean Grey option but you'd have to die and be resurrected and be in love triangles a lot.

        There's Xavier but you might lose the ability to walk (yes this is actually how his powers work)

        I prefer the J'onn J'onzz method, be from mars you get to be a telepath, super strong, phase through walls and change shape. However stay away from fire or you might accidentally unleash an ancient horror that nukes a city and kills your girlfriend.

        this has been your daily dose of nerdery, just remember the more you know the more you become one of us.
        Last edited by gremcint; 10-15-2014, 03:36 PM. Reason: Elephants
        Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
        Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

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        • #5
          Quoth gremcint View Post
          this has been your daily dose of nerdery, just remember the more you know the more you become one of us.
          One of us...One of us...
          It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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          • #6
            What good is reading minds if you are in a library of blank books?
            "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,"

            Comment

            • #7
              I honestly don't even have words for the first incident. Still trying to process what just happened there; and speaking of slow computations, I can't rightly joke about the second incident 'cause just the other day I tried to pull a door labeled "push."
              Quoth gremcint View Post
              Well there's the Jean Grey option but you'd have to die and be resurrected and be in love triangles a lot.

              There's Xavier but you might lose the ability to walk (yes this is actually how his powers work)
              Personally I prefer the Son Goku method:

              KRILLIN: "Goku, did you just read my mind?"
              GOKU: "Yuh-huh!"
              KRILLIN: "But how could you—?"
              GOKU: "Muffin button."
              "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth Dark Psion View Post
                What good is reading minds if you are in a library of blank books?
                Snarfing this for a new .sig.
                "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

                "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

                Comment

                • #9
                  If comics have taught me anything, the only surefire way to get superpowers is to be hit by lightning while being irradiated by a barrel of nuclear waste while being hit by a meteorite of indeterminate substance from an indeterminate origin while having your genes spliced by a mad scientist while being bitten by a super-powered animal while secretly being a creature from another planet while dabbling in the black arts while fulfilling an ancient prophecy that you are "the chosen one"

                  That should do it.

                  Or kill you
                  - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth Bloodsoul View Post
                    I honestly don't even have words for the first incident.
                    Did you go to the Midvale School for the Gifted?
                    http://bit.ly/1qxaiCw
                    It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      The Jerk off in the first came back today to complain about me attitude..... And I'm the manager..... Yeah.... He complained too me about me and didn't realize the problem....
                      No ma'am. I'm sorry, I cannot control the temperature. We're in hell, that's why.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth Pagan View Post
                        Did you go to the Midvale School for the Gifted?
                        http://bit.ly/1qxaiCw
                        No, *I* attended Midvale Junior High School, Jordan School District 1963-1965 (7th/8th)
                        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth Argabarga View Post
                          If comics have taught me anything, the only surefire way to get superpowers is to be hit by lightning while being irradiated by a barrel of nuclear waste while being hit by a meteorite of indeterminate substance from an indeterminate origin while having your genes spliced by a mad scientist while being bitten by a super-powered animal while secretly being a creature from another planet while dabbling in the black arts while fulfilling an ancient prophecy that you are "the chosen one"

                          That should do it.

                          Or kill you
                          I just had a flashback to a panel from Phil and Dixie.
                          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Said it before, and I'll say it again: if 'they' want me to read minds, I want read/write/execute!
                            Cheap, fast, good. Pick two.
                            They want us to read minds, I want read/write.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
                              I just had a flashback to a panel from Phil and Dixie.
                              This one?

                              Comment

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