Ade on how to use the Air compressor
Bobby: (Frustrated with the fact someone has turned off the compressor which has meant as the air has leaked out, it hasn’t clicked back on every once in a while to re-pressurise) god, this is fucking typical, this is
Ade: Well what you do, little bobby, see that little bastard of a button on the compressor that says “On/off” yeah? Fucking, take your little bastard of a finger, press the little bastard of a button, and wait for the big bastard of an air compressor to re-pressurise...ya little bastard
Kids say the funniest things
Kid: Muuum, where does this man work? (Points to me)
Mum: He works here
Kid: But this is a shop
Mum: Yep. Some people work in shops. I guess Flea here is a student working to pay tuition
Me: And pay for all my computer games *smiles at the kid*
Kid: Oh...but he can’t be at work
Mum: Why not?
Kid: He’s Happy
A power cut
FC : Customer with Fujitsu Computer
Me: NEXT!
FC: Hey
Me: Hiyas. How’re you?
FC: Good thanks. My computers not doing too well though.
Me: Whats up with it? *Notices the lights give a small flicker*
FC: It won’t power up
Me: Okay, let’s give it a test *Picks the computer up and takes it into the diagnostic & repair area, Noticing the lights flicker again*
Rich: Whats up with that, Flea?
Me: *Plugging in the PC* Won’t power up *Lights flicker* Our power’s about to go off
Rich: What makes you say tha- *The store falls into darkness, the emergency lights kick in and the alarms briefly start to sound off* ...Fair enough
Me: *Walks back out to the customer with his computer* Yup. I can’t get your computer to power up either
Annoying the Apple Rep 101
Me: *Walking out of the warehouse with a box of display-only windows Vista cases. Sees the apply guy* Hey Jon
Jon: Hey, Flea. What’s in the box?
Me: Vista Ultimate display boxes
Jon: what you should do is chuck all those in the bin and put a display of Leopard out.
Me: Still touting those early learning centre computers?
Jon: Yup. So much better that windows PCs *Walks off with a smile*
Me: *Returns to the warehouse, gets 12 boxes of Vista display-only boxes, gets all the free standing POS He can find and sets up a HUGE Windows Vista display...on the apple store
-An hour later when the Apple rep comes back off his lunch-
Jon: ...Tosser
Thomas doesn’t understand diesel engines
*while in the store van, driving a few TVs down to another store about 20 miles away*
Thomas: Hey flea, how do you tell how much fuel this van has?
Me: I usually find that the fuel gauge is a good indication. Why?
Van: *Ping-Ping!*
Me: *Looks over at the fuel gauge* Yeah, see that little light that looks like a fuel pump? And see that thing on the display that says “Miles to empty: 50” ? that means you’re running on FUMES
Thomas: is that bad
Me: It’s not great.
Bobby: (Frustrated with the fact someone has turned off the compressor which has meant as the air has leaked out, it hasn’t clicked back on every once in a while to re-pressurise) god, this is fucking typical, this is
Ade: Well what you do, little bobby, see that little bastard of a button on the compressor that says “On/off” yeah? Fucking, take your little bastard of a finger, press the little bastard of a button, and wait for the big bastard of an air compressor to re-pressurise...ya little bastard
Kids say the funniest things
Kid: Muuum, where does this man work? (Points to me)
Mum: He works here
Kid: But this is a shop
Mum: Yep. Some people work in shops. I guess Flea here is a student working to pay tuition
Me: And pay for all my computer games *smiles at the kid*
Kid: Oh...but he can’t be at work
Mum: Why not?
Kid: He’s Happy
A power cut
FC : Customer with Fujitsu Computer
Me: NEXT!
FC: Hey
Me: Hiyas. How’re you?
FC: Good thanks. My computers not doing too well though.
Me: Whats up with it? *Notices the lights give a small flicker*
FC: It won’t power up
Me: Okay, let’s give it a test *Picks the computer up and takes it into the diagnostic & repair area, Noticing the lights flicker again*
Rich: Whats up with that, Flea?
Me: *Plugging in the PC* Won’t power up *Lights flicker* Our power’s about to go off
Rich: What makes you say tha- *The store falls into darkness, the emergency lights kick in and the alarms briefly start to sound off* ...Fair enough
Me: *Walks back out to the customer with his computer* Yup. I can’t get your computer to power up either
Annoying the Apple Rep 101
Me: *Walking out of the warehouse with a box of display-only windows Vista cases. Sees the apply guy* Hey Jon
Jon: Hey, Flea. What’s in the box?
Me: Vista Ultimate display boxes
Jon: what you should do is chuck all those in the bin and put a display of Leopard out.
Me: Still touting those early learning centre computers?
Jon: Yup. So much better that windows PCs *Walks off with a smile*
Me: *Returns to the warehouse, gets 12 boxes of Vista display-only boxes, gets all the free standing POS He can find and sets up a HUGE Windows Vista display...on the apple store
-An hour later when the Apple rep comes back off his lunch-
Jon: ...Tosser
Thomas doesn’t understand diesel engines
*while in the store van, driving a few TVs down to another store about 20 miles away*
Thomas: Hey flea, how do you tell how much fuel this van has?
Me: I usually find that the fuel gauge is a good indication. Why?
Van: *Ping-Ping!*
Me: *Looks over at the fuel gauge* Yeah, see that little light that looks like a fuel pump? And see that thing on the display that says “Miles to empty: 50” ? that means you’re running on FUMES
Thomas: is that bad
Me: It’s not great.
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