Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Workday boredom and hilarity

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Workday boredom and hilarity

    Ade on how to use the Air compressor

    Bobby: (Frustrated with the fact someone has turned off the compressor which has meant as the air has leaked out, it hasn’t clicked back on every once in a while to re-pressurise) god, this is fucking typical, this is
    Ade: Well what you do, little bobby, see that little bastard of a button on the compressor that says “On/off” yeah? Fucking, take your little bastard of a finger, press the little bastard of a button, and wait for the big bastard of an air compressor to re-pressurise...ya little bastard

    Kids say the funniest things

    Kid: Muuum, where does this man work? (Points to me)
    Mum: He works here
    Kid: But this is a shop
    Mum: Yep. Some people work in shops. I guess Flea here is a student working to pay tuition
    Me: And pay for all my computer games *smiles at the kid*
    Kid: Oh...but he can’t be at work
    Mum: Why not?
    Kid: He’s Happy

    A power cut

    FC : Customer with Fujitsu Computer

    Me: NEXT!
    FC: Hey
    Me: Hiyas. How’re you?
    FC: Good thanks. My computers not doing too well though.
    Me: Whats up with it? *Notices the lights give a small flicker*
    FC: It won’t power up
    Me: Okay, let’s give it a test *Picks the computer up and takes it into the diagnostic & repair area, Noticing the lights flicker again*
    Rich: Whats up with that, Flea?
    Me: *Plugging in the PC* Won’t power up *Lights flicker* Our power’s about to go off
    Rich: What makes you say tha- *The store falls into darkness, the emergency lights kick in and the alarms briefly start to sound off* ...Fair enough
    Me: *Walks back out to the customer with his computer* Yup. I can’t get your computer to power up either

    Annoying the Apple Rep 101

    Me: *Walking out of the warehouse with a box of display-only windows Vista cases. Sees the apply guy* Hey Jon
    Jon: Hey, Flea. What’s in the box?
    Me: Vista Ultimate display boxes
    Jon: what you should do is chuck all those in the bin and put a display of Leopard out.
    Me: Still touting those early learning centre computers?
    Jon: Yup. So much better that windows PCs *Walks off with a smile*
    Me: *Returns to the warehouse, gets 12 boxes of Vista display-only boxes, gets all the free standing POS He can find and sets up a HUGE Windows Vista display...on the apple store

    -An hour later when the Apple rep comes back off his lunch-
    Jon: ...Tosser

    Thomas doesn’t understand diesel engines

    *while in the store van, driving a few TVs down to another store about 20 miles away*

    Thomas: Hey flea, how do you tell how much fuel this van has?
    Me: I usually find that the fuel gauge is a good indication. Why?
    Van: *Ping-Ping!*
    Me: *Looks over at the fuel gauge* Yeah, see that little light that looks like a fuel pump? And see that thing on the display that says “Miles to empty: 50” ? that means you’re running on FUMES
    Thomas: is that bad
    Me: It’s not great.
    -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

    Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

    A guide for customers about retail

  • #2
    Quoth AdvancedFlea View Post
    Kids say the funniest things

    Kid: Muuum, where does this man work? (Points to me)
    Mum: He works here
    Kid: But this is a shop
    Mum: Yep. Some people work in shops. I guess Flea here is a student working to pay tuition
    Me: And pay for all my computer games *smiles at the kid*
    Kid: Oh...but he can’t be at work
    Mum: Why not?
    Kid: He’s Happy
    Smart kiddie.
    Now a member of that alien race called Management.

    Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

    Comment


    • #3
      I know. Only a kid could come out with somthing like that
      -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

      Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

      A guide for customers about retail

      Comment


      • #4
        At least the mother is encouraging the fact that yes, some people do work while studying. Kudos to the mother but yes, the kid is too cute
        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

        Now queen of USSR-Land...

        Comment


        • #5
          Yeah, I gotta hand it to her on that. I'd say she was planting the seed for subtle hints later on in life when he's studying lol
          -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

          Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

          A guide for customers about retail

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth AdvancedFlea View Post
            Thomas doesn’t understand diesel engines

            *while in the store van, driving a few TVs down to another store about 20 miles away*

            Thomas: Hey flea, how do you tell how much fuel this van has?
            Me: I usually find that the fuel gauge is a good indication. Why?
            Van: *Ping-Ping!*
            Me: *Looks over at the fuel gauge* Yeah, see that little light that looks like a fuel pump? And see that thing on the display that says “Miles to empty: 50” ? that means you’re running on FUMES
            Thomas: is that bad
            Me: It’s not great.
            Of course Thomas doesn't understand diesel engines - he's a steam engine. Anyway, 50 miles to empty is definitely running on fumes (only 9 gallons left). With a diesel, you definitely don't want to run the tank dry because the high-pressure pump is usually lubricated by the fuel, so you'd be looking at a big repair bill.
            Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

            Comment


            • #7
              I don't know a lot about engines, but nate's car gets horrible mileage (takes a quarter of a tank to go 25-30 miles) and it might be because he almost never has gas in it...by that i mean he's usually down to a quarter or less of a tank...yeah, we don't have a lot of money but COME ON! he prioritizes pizza and games over gas...

              Comment


              • #8
                My car runs on Unleaded, but I always encountered the term "running on fumes" as referring to "2 gallons or less/the light just came on" >_>
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth wolfie View Post
                  With a diesel, you definitely don't want to run the tank run dry
                  That and because diesel, unlike petrol, explodes on compression NOT ignition, if there is nothing in the cylendar when the piston compresses then nothing explodes to push the piston head back. If you let a diesel run dry, you have to have the whole fuel system bled through. There have been occasions where people have left that van near empty and I have had to run it on "electric only" to get it to the petrol station

                  ...The van is a hybrid. That "electric only" setting have saved its arse a few times

                  Quoth WhiteRose View Post
                  it might be because he almost never has gas in it
                  Nothing to do with that infact, if your car has less fuel in it, that means its carrying around less weight so, theoretically, you should get better fuel efficiancy. Thing is, you would never notice because it would be such a small improovement.

                  Quoth EricKei View Post
                  My car runs on Unleaded, but I always encountered the term "running on fumes" as referring to "2 gallons or less/the light just came on" >_>
                  depends on your definition of "running on fumes" I guess *chuckle* the car I have now, the light comes on when you get to the last 1/8th of the tank, but on that car at that point on the guage, it still has 75 miles-to-empty which, with how that car gets through petrol, is roughly 7.5 litres
                  -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

                  Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

                  A guide for customers about retail

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Haha. Cute Kid.

                    How did the customer react when the power went out in the store as you were trying to power his computer?
                    Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                    Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                    Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth AdvancedFlea View Post
                      Nothing to do with that infact, if your car has less fuel in it, that means its carrying around less weight so, theoretically, you should get better fuel efficiancy. Thing is, you would never notice because it would be such a small improovement.
                      actually, the net effect would be zero... you are getting a slight boost because of the lower weight and a slight loss because, depending on where your fuel pump is in the tank, the fuel pump may not be fully submerged and will be pumping air as well as fuel.
                      If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
                        actually, the net effect would be zero... you are getting a slight boost because of the lower weight and a slight loss because, depending on where your fuel pump is in the tank, the fuel pump may not be fully submerged and will be pumping air as well as fuel.
                        And don't forget all the sediment that gets concentrated when you're running on low fuel levels.

                        It's better to keep more fuel in your car than less to avoid sediment in the tank from blocking your intake filter.

                        Story Time: I once was given a car because the previous owner couldn't discover why it kept stalling. Once I had it, I realized that it only did the stall routine when low on gas, and it would start up again pretty much immediately. They'd had the carburetor rebuilt and all of the engine-side filters (there were three, plus some other bizarre after-market changes ô.O ) had been replaced as well as some of the fuel line, but it still wouldn't quite stalling.

                        I gave it to my dad to have him filter the tank. He pulled about three fliers worth of construction paper out and it ran just great.

                        ^-.-^
                        Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth hinakiba777 View Post
                          How did the customer react when the power went out in the store as you were trying to power his computer?
                          He just laughed

                          Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
                          the fuel pump may not be fully submerged and will be pumping air as well as fuel.
                          diesels don't work like that. if you get air in the fuel line, it has to be completly bled and re-primed.

                          not to mention....the fuel pumps on british vehicles aren't in the tanks o.o
                          -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

                          Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

                          A guide for customers about retail

                          Comment

                          Working...
                          X