There are just some things you don't want in your head.

[GingerBiscuit]

It is the nature of my workplace (selling supplements and health-foods) that on occasion, men come in for help with 'male problems'. We can help (not like that. Perve.) but they are usually the type of man you DON'T WANT TO THINK OF IN CONNECTION TO ANYTHING REMOTELY SEXUAL.
EVER.
Like the man today.
He has come in and spoken to me a few things, for help with his brain and energy levels. Today he came in and asked for help with the afore-mentioned 'male problems'.
He was very...specific.

Eeeeeew.

He's all gray and covered in warts and grossly obese (which is probably not helping the erection issues, really) and smells very bad, and I really don't want to think of his...bits...and his problems with his...bits....

At least, I suppose, he didn't couch it in the usual euphamisms that lead us to asking all sorts of embarrassing questions until we catch on.

'i have problems with my... circulation'.
'Oh, well this is good for circulation...'
'No, my... BLOOD PRESSURE.'
'do you have low blood pressure?'
'In... In a way. I urrmmm...'

[bigjimaz]

Yeah, that's about enough. I am a big guy (read that 325 lb) and even I don't want that branded on my brain. Mostly in fear of going into a store one day and asking a beautiful young assistant for the same thing.

[GingerBiscuit]

Hell, I also don't want to think of the bits of the handsome young men either. I want to go about my working day unaccosted by knowledge of peoples erection problems. But it makes it worse for me when my (very shallow) brain is physically repulsed by the very idea as well.

May I just mention... specific... again.
As in EXACTLY what was wrong....

*shudder*

[Kusanagi]

"Popcicle sticks and rubber bands are in the craft section, sir"

[blas]

I would have puked on the spot.

That one commercial going around on TV about men and either their diabetes or their blood pressure causing their erectile dysfunction.........these men are all at least 45 and a few of them in that commercial are very obsese......I do NOT want to see that on TV just as much as I do NOT want to see or hear that in real life.

[Boozy]

"Popcicle sticks and rubber bands are in the craft section, sir"

Nice.

[Rapscallion]

There are claims that Goji berries can help chaps with that sort of problem, but the sad fact remains that they can only do that if the chaps in question are deficient in certain chemicals the berries contain. I've yet to field a call of that nature, but believe me I will laugh long and hard (pun not intended, but what the Hades - it's good to own the board) if that happens.

Must agree with Blas on this one - I don't want to think about older guys with erectile disfunction, pretty much in the same way that I don't want to see adverts for women with feminine problems (weak bladder from childbirth, hot flushes etc).

Rapscallion

[crazylegs]

Use to get alsorts of lovely things shown at me when i worked at a pharmacy:-

1) The chap who banged his foot onto the counter (after removing shoe/sock) and asked, is this a corn or a verucca?

2) The woman who walked up to me pulled her top down and said can you have a look at this rash? (It wasn't pleasant i can assure thee)

3) The very young couple who walked up to the counter and asked for the morning after pill, when asked how long ago they had had unprotected sex (the pill is only effective for 72 hrs after the deed) they said 5 minutes. This was in a city centre so I'll leave that one to your fertile collective imagination!

[LemonZest]

..these men are all at least 45

OK, I've *got* to ask....do you really think 45 is THAT OLD?

Blas, I know you mean well, but seriously....one day, you too will be over 50.

Not everyone over 50 is awful! Please!

LZ, well past 50.

[Jadedcarguy]

OK, I've *got* to ask....do you really think 45 is THAT OLD?

I'm 33, and at 45 I plan on still gettin' a chub. Blas will get there someday.

[GingerBiscuit]

I have to admit, that at 21, 50 seems unimaginably old to me. I'm sure that'll change as I get older- after all, at 15, 20 seemed unimaginably old to me.

We're trained in the discussion that we need to have with these gentlemen, but it's very difficult to keep a straight face when your brain is currently attempting to commit suicide in self-defence.

edit- I've had LOTS of men ask me about this too. Ranging from about 25 to 65.
They've ranged from the embarrassed 'I...urrrmmm...having some problems....urrrrmmm....with my...circulation. You know. DOWN THERE.'
To the fantastically unashamed
'Excuse me young lady, but I'm having trouble getting it up!'

[KyneXY]

We actually have 3 companys that we take calls for here in our centre all of them dealing With Erection proplems - In the 2 years i have been here i have heard almost everything from some guy asking if he should pop the sores on his wing wally to pranks where girls ringing up saying that there guy just cant get it up ( my response to that usually is maybe your just damn ugly )

My request to be taken off this service due to religious reasons ( best excuse i could think of ) was met with laughter

[Pagan]

I would have puked on the spot.

That one commercial going around on TV about men and either their diabetes or their blood pressure causing their erectile dysfunction.........these men are all at least 45 and a few of them in that commercial are very obsese......I do NOT want to see that on TV just as much as I do NOT want to see or hear that in real life.

How about "Bob" on the Enzyte commercials? I don't know which commercial is worse: that one or the one that had Bob Dole.

[Imogene]

'Excuse me young lady, but I'm having trouble getting it up!'

Is it sad that the first thing that dragged itself into my head upon hearing this was a very, very raunchy hentai about a particular clinic where the doctor and various buxom nurses have random sex with their clientèle when they come in complaining of sexual deficiencies?
In particular, I was thinking of the episode where a woman comes (Erg... pun unintended) in, complaining of an inability to orgasm. The doctor and nurse take turns pleasuring her, until they eventually find out she's never even had a kiss before, so, they kiss her, and she has her first ever mind-blowing orgasm.

In its roundabout way, my mind made that connection to this by thinking perhaps the customers who show up to ask these sorts of things just need a little less lovin'...

[GingerBiscuit]

I think I sa that hentai. Although not that particular episode.

And now my brain has gone to its happy place again, in self-defence, as I am now imagining the particular man who barked this at me in an orgy and no-one EVER needs to see that.

Ahhh, calorie free chocolate, with health-giving properties... Johnny Depp my loyal slave.... This is the place where no bad thoughts interrupt...