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I've got Lupo's weirdo magnet now. County Fair Week: A Review. LONG!

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  • I've got Lupo's weirdo magnet now. County Fair Week: A Review. LONG!

    Well, another County fair almost in the books - FINALLY! It can't come soon enough. And, yes, it seems Lupo's weirdo magnet got shipped to me. Can I return it to sender?

    I don't have a complete list of all the strange happenings, but will add to the thread when I do. Here goes. Also a little BG - we run a small (emphasis on small) booth that sells our specialty burgers, and hot dogs. Outside the booth we also sell video games, and systems.

    Story #1 - DUHHHH, are you open?

    I know, sir, you want food. Asking me for food as I'm unloading stuff from my car, and all the sides are still up, and the cooker isn't even on yet, means no food for you. Please grow a clue. Extra points are given for you asking when I have an 80 lb box of meat in my hands.

    Story #2 - Shrimpburger

    You want a shrimpburger? Ok, that's nice. Where do you see a fryer in our booth, and where would said fryer fit? And also, where on our menu, right next to you do you see it listed? No amount of catbutt face will get you a shrimpburger at our booth. Go to the main store, that has room for fryers, for that.

    Story #3 - Video game stupidity #1

    You're about an 8-10 year old kid, congratulations on making it that far in life. But you take major stupid points when you ask me "Do I have to pay for the games?" Hell, my BP's 4-year-old knows if you want something, you've got to pay for it. I weep for the future with this kid.

    Story #4 - Moochers.

    You want a fork. Good for you, but you're not a customer, so no fork for you. I'll send you to the smokehouse across from us every time, because they send their customers who want forks to us. Get forks for your customers smokehouse. If you do, I'd buy your tasty products.

    Story #5 - Video game stupidity #2

    You've 5 games that cost $2 each. That's $10. What, you don't have $10? Sorry, you can't get the games. No we will not hire you to work for us to pay for the games. No, we won't because we aren't hiring, and, frankly, you're a moron who can barely put 2 words together to communicate a thought. Go away, and let me get back to my medicine, I mean beer.

    Story # 6 - Vendor stupidity #1 - BUNS!

    Bun company, get it right. We ordered 3 dozen wheat buns. We get 8 dozen. We order for Tuseday a tray of hot dog buns, we get 3 bags, at least we did get a tray Friday. Also, when we maybe sell 1100 sandwiches, do you send us buns for 2000, and that's WAYYYY more than we ordered?

    Story #7 - Vendor stupidity #2 - WTF?

    Ok, coffee company, look at our damn order history. Have we EVER ordered one sleeve of cups at a time, or 1 bag of slushie mix at a time? We haven't. So why the bloody hell did you only send us a sleeve of cups when we ordered a case? Why did you send us 4 bags of a slushie mix when we ordered 4 cases of it, along with 5 of another kind and 3 of yet another, where we only got bags of it? Why did you NOT send us the case of cup lids that we ordered with the case of cups?

    No, coffee company, this new system of you having a rep several states away from us isn't working. Your rep for us is a moron. Because of your stupidity, we're now getting our cups, and lids, locally, for half the cost! Sorry you lose!

    Story #8 - I thank the crowd at the fair

    You see me walking down the midway with something that looks heavy, what do you do?

    A - Help me out by getting out of my way

    B - See me and move right into my path

    You all can figure out what happened numerous times, and here's my response to those who did it

    Story #9 - Video Game Stupidity # 3 - Bag boy.

    I don't remember all the details of the sucktomers we call the bag people, or why they got the name. I do remember that they were a bunch of EW's and SC's, and their kids were feral, and did what they pleased. Well, one feral kid is a teen now .

    Oh, Bag Boy, you fond a game that's $35. No you will not get it for $25. No I don't control the prices - talk to the guy who does when he gets back. I don't care that you say you only have $25 on you. No matter how you bitch it's $35, and won't change. What will change is we take the game out of it's tote and remove it from sale. When you come by again to make your pathetic attempt to get it for less, and see it gone, we tell you someone was so happy to get the game they gave us a $10 tip, and bought it for $45. Now go away, and don't return.

    Story #10 - Free food.

    That's nice you claim that my BP said he'd give you free food. There's one problem with that - he didn't mention it to me, and something like that he would. No I won't give you free food. Yeah, walk away, out of the gate, you scammer. Jump off a cliff into the river while you're at it, it's only 5 blocks that away.

    Story #11 - You can't read, can you?

    Where do you see that we have ice cream here in our small booth? Where on our menu does it list we have ice cream? Do you want us to pull ice cream out of our rear ends, it wouldn't taste too good if we do? Walk away, now!

    I'll add more as I remember them.
    "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

  • #2
    Wow, since when do county fairs sell video games? If you have any NES/SNES ones sign me up!

    Comment


    • #3
      lol, fairs really bring out the stupid, don't they? Last time I was at a fair I yelled at a random little girl because she tried to pet a sheep (although this was NOT a petting zoo, and there were signs everywhere which said not to touch the animals) and the sheep wouldn't let her, so she went to HIT the sheep. Little brat gave me a death glare, but I have a decent glare myself so she went away.

      I'm off to our fair tomorrow. It's probably a mistake to go on opening day, but I don't have another opportunity. Anyway, the fair near where I used to live drew over a million people each year, and this one only gets around 200,000 so I hope it'll be less crazy.
      Replace anger management with stupidity management.

      Comment


      • #4
        Spent all day at our county fair yesterday, and everybody I bought stuff from was so nice. I made sure to be polite, smile, have the correct change if I could, and not bitch if they made a mistake. I hope I helped make their day a little nicer because of having one less SC to deal with.
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

        Comment


        • #5
          Well, I just got chewed out, just now, because our restaurant doesn't play 50's music.

          Oh, my. That Oud Bruin will taste so good when I have it in a few hours, hopefully I can make it a few hours.

          Back to more fair BS.

          Story #12 - Don't make us angry, you won't like us when we're angry

          We hire you to buff the video game discs, and give you our buffer to do so. You give us the games back, and sell them. They quickly get returned to us ad defective. Guess what we find out: you didn't do the job we paid you for! Well, we're going to deal with you once the fair is over you buffoon. You will give us back our buffer, and the rest of the games you have for buffing, or else. You won't like or else, because it involves legal stuff, and you'll get your ass handed to you.

          Story #13 - What's in your wallet?

          At a fair, it'd better be cash. Yes, we can take cards, with a smartphone app, however we have 2 rules for it

          A- $20 minimum.
          B - We're not busy, because it does take some time.

          So, no, we won't take a card for a 1 sandwich order. No We've got a huge line, we don't have time to take a card. You want to bitch about it? Go somewhere else!
          "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

          Comment


          • #6
            Story #15 - WATER!

            We do have water service out at the fair, but what comes out of the tap tastes nasty, thus, we sell bottles of water (as does everyone else). Every fair we have moochers asking (or demanding) that we give them a cup of water. This year we had a kid who took the cake.

            He asked for a free glass of water, and of course, was told no. After being told no he went behind our booth, where the run down cooler of ice was, and took ice out of the cooler and ran away. We were all in shock by this kid to stop him.

            That might be the final story from the fair. At least there's 51 weeks till the next one.
            "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

            Comment


            • #7
              Well

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #1 - DUHHHH, are you open?

              I know, sir, you want food. Asking me for food as I'm unloading stuff from my car, and all the sides are still up, and the cooker isn't even on yet, means no food for you. Please grow a clue. Extra points are given for you asking when I have an 80 lb box of meat in my hands.
              And yet they will complain if you sell them raw food.

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #2 - Shrimpburger

              You want a shrimpburger? Ok, that's nice. Where do you see a fryer in our booth, and where would said fryer fit? And also, where on our menu, right next to you do you see it listed? No amount of catbutt face will get you a shrimpburger at our booth. Go to the main store, that has room for fryers, for that.
              ShrimpBurger? What is a ShrimpBurger, where can I get one? It sounds delicious, now I want one. Okay, I Googled it, now I REALLY WANT ONE!

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #3 - Video game stupidity #1

              You're about an 8-10 year old kid, congratulations on making it that far in life. But you take major stupid points when you ask me "Do I have to pay for the games?" Hell, my BP's 4-year-old knows if you want something, you've got to pay for it. I weep for the future with this kid.
              Sounds like a budding SC to me, already wanting some free hand-outs.

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #4 - Moochers.

              You want a fork. Good for you, but you're not a customer, so no fork for you. I'll send you to the smokehouse across from us every time, because they send their customers who want forks to us. Get forks for your customers smokehouse. If you do, I'd buy your tasty products.
              But all they wanted you to do is to "fork it over". Please don't hit me, I could not resist the pun.

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #5 - Video game stupidity #2

              You've 5 games that cost $2 each. That's $10. What, you don't have $10? Sorry, you can't get the games. No we will not hire you to work for us to pay for the games. No, we won't because we aren't hiring, and, frankly, you're a moron who can barely put 2 words together to communicate a thought. Go away, and let me get back to my medicine, I mean beer.
              Ouch, met these people before. I often wondered how they can talk about anything to anybody. Heck, I am not sure how they know how to get out of bed in the morning

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story # 6 - Vendor stupidity #1 - BUNS!

              Bun company, get it right. We ordered 3 dozen wheat buns. We get 8 dozen. We order for Tuesday a tray of hot dog buns, we get 3 bags, at least we did get a tray Friday. Also, when we maybe sell 1100 sandwiches, do you send us buns for 2000, and that's WAYYYY more than we ordered?
              I think that is known as padding the bill, hoping you will not notice and then they make more money.

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #7 - Vendor stupidity #2 - WTF?

              Ok, coffee company, look at our damn order history. Have we EVER ordered one sleeve of cups at a time, or 1 bag of slushie mix at a time? We haven't. So why the bloody hell did you only send us a sleeve of cups when we ordered a case? Why did you send us 4 bags of a slushie mix when we ordered 4 cases of it, along with 5 of another kind and 3 of yet another, where we only got bags of it? Why did you NOT send us the case of cup lids that we ordered with the case of cups?

              No, coffee company, this new system of you having a rep several states away from us isn't working. Your rep for us is a moron. Because of your stupidity, we're now getting our cups, and lids, locally, for half the cost! Sorry you lose!
              And that violates one of the most basic laws of business, "Never give a customer any cause to look elsewhere and find a cheaper supplier than yourself.".

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #8 - I thank the crowd at the fair

              You see me walking down the midway with something that looks heavy, what do you do?

              A - Help me out by getting out of my way

              B - See me and move right into my path

              You all can figure out what happened numerous times, and here's my response to those who did it
              I weigh over 260 lbs, and I will turn whatever I am carrying so the pointy corner will be aimed towards the direction I am going. Move it of lose it.

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #9 - Video Game Stupidity # 3 - Bag boy.

              I don't remember all the details of the sucktomers we call the bag people, or why they got the name. I do remember that they were a bunch of EW's and SC's, and their kids were feral, and did what they pleased. Well, one feral kid is a teen now .

              Oh, Bag Boy, you fond a game that's $35. No you will not get it for $25. No I don't control the prices - talk to the guy who does when he gets back. I don't care that you say you only have $25 on you. No matter how you bitch it's $35, and won't change. What will change is we take the game out of it's tote and remove it from sale. When you come by again to make your pathetic attempt to get it for less, and see it gone, we tell you someone was so happy to get the game they gave us a $10 tip, and bought it for $45. Now go away, and don't return.
              That is so evil I approve.

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #10 - Free food.

              That's nice you claim that my BP said he'd give you free food. There's one problem with that - he didn't mention it to me, and something like that he would. No I won't give you free food. Yeah, walk away, out of the gate, you scammer. Jump off a cliff into the river while you're at it, it's only 5 blocks that away.
              Or give them something nasty and raw. It's still free after all.

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #11 - You can't read, can you?

              Where do you see that we have ice cream here in our small booth? Where on our menu does it list we have ice cream? Do you want us to pull ice cream out of our rear ends, it wouldn't taste too good if we do? Walk away, now!
              Well, if you are giving away free food, you must also be giving away free delicious ice-cream.

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #12 - Don't make us angry, you won't like us when we're angry

              We hire you to buff the video game discs, and give you our buffer to do so. You give us the games back, and sell them. They quickly get returned to us ad defective. Guess what we find out: you didn't do the job we paid you for! Well, we're going to deal with you once the fair is over you buffoon. You will give us back our buffer, and the rest of the games you have for buffing, or else. You won't like or else, because it involves legal stuff, and you'll get your ass handed to you.
              Did they just not polish them or did they end up damaging the disks?

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #13 - What's in your wallet?

              At a fair, it'd better be cash. Yes, we can take cards, with a smartphone app, however we have 2 rules for it

              A- $20 minimum.
              B - We're not busy, because it does take some time.

              So, no, we won't take a card for a 1 sandwich order. No We've got a huge line, we don't have time to take a card. You want to bitch about it? Go somewhere else!
              But think of all the profit you make after paying the transaction charges!

              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              Story #15 - WATER!

              We do have water service out at the fair, but what comes out of the tap tastes nasty, thus, we sell bottles of water (as does everyone else). Every fair we have moochers asking (or demanding) that we give them a cup of water. This year we had a kid who took the cake.

              He asked for a free glass of water, and of course, was told no. After being told no he went behind our booth, where the run down cooler of ice was, and took ice out of the cooler and ran away. We were all in shock by this kid to stop him.
              Was this cooler one where you kept meat and other food stuffs in? If yes, yuck!

              PS. Where is #14? There must be a 14.

              Comment


              • #8
                #14 is on a need-to-know basis...
                The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                  #14 is on a need-to-know basis...
                  I NEED to know!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Sorry I mis-numbered the thing. I could do a #14, and here it is.

                    #14 - New charity booth.

                    I was sad to see the Jaycees give their booth up to another non profit org. They had the best pizza at the fair, and not that carnie crap that is only good when you're drunk. The new org decided to install a foghorn on their building. I was getting to the point with them blowing it, if I heard it one more time (in my hungover state) I was going to take a baseball bat to it. I really hope it isn't there next year.
                    "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      ShrimpBurger? What is a ShrimpBurger, where can I get one? It sounds delicious, now I want one. Okay, I Googled it, now I REALLY WANT ONE!
                      If you like shrimp, you'd probably like that. I don't.

                      Sounds like a budding SC to me, already wanting some free hand-outs.
                      Oh, yeah, he is. I was ready to pop open a beer at 10AM, after that happened.

                      I think that is known as padding the bill, hoping you will not notice and then they make more money.
                      In theory, yes. In reality, no. We will use them at the main store. Just a pain in the ass to hual them back.

                      I weigh over 260 lbs, and I will turn whatever I am carrying so the pointy corner will be aimed towards the direction I am going. Move it of lose it.
                      It was a round cooler, so no pointy corner. Also I'm only about 155.

                      That is so evil I approve.
                      Very evil, and that game will be sold, probably at the next flea market they do. It's a very popular game.

                      Did they just not polish them or did they end up damaging the disks?
                      He did jack shit with them. He's a moron.

                      Was this cooler one where you kept meat and other food stuffs in? If yes, yuck!
                      No, this was one with ice for the soda pop. It was low and mostly melted. We set it out back to take back to be refilled.
                      Last edited by Victory Sabre; 08-13-2014, 02:40 PM.
                      "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Just wanted to say, went to our fair this week, not opening day because there's no horse show then. Anyway, I think it's a county fair? I'm used to the state fair which is huge and horrible. This one was so cute and small! I swear 90% of the people were 4-H participants and families. Everyone knew each other. And the announcer at the horse show would say things like "and this is John Smith... Next up is his wife, Jane, it's her 30th birthday! Now it's James Smith, his farm is out on 1st Street his father and I used to go to X bar when Jimmy owned it..."

                        Serious, it was awesome. I saw very few uncontrolled kids (they mostly had goats/bunnies/chickens in their hands) and they even had kids assigned to bus the picnic tables. Again, I'm used to the larger fair, so possibly this is normal for a small county fair but OMG I loved it.
                        Replace anger management with stupidity management.

                        Comment

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