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Sorry I can't, the safety isn't on and we all know what happens when blondes grab guns...
Please be a sweetheart and rub moisturizer all over my butt.
Please be a sweetheart and rub moisturizer all over my butt.
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You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth -
Sorry not going out in this weather. (Water Butt)
Please scrape the ice offludo ergo sumComment
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It's too cold to venture outside.... lost the scraper anyway.
...Be a dear and go fetch me some fire wood."I'm not smiling because I'm happy. I'm smiling because every time I blink your head explodes!"
-RedComment
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Can't get you any firewood. The beavers used it all to build their dam.
Will you please tell that idiot next door to turn down his music?Retail Haiku:
Depression sets in.
The hellhole is calling me ~
I don't want to go.Comment
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I can't because I washed the front door and can't get out of the house.
Do be a sweetheart and clean my house for me.Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!
If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix
Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.Comment
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I'm sorry the firmen are telling me to keep back.
Would someone fix the hole in my bucket?ludo ergo sumComment
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Buckets don't get holes, only pails do. Get it right.
You apologize to that Thomson's gazelle right now, young man!"We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt VonnegutComment
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Not until he apologizes first . . .'cuz he started it.
How about, since the cats won't do it, take the throw rug out of the dryer and just leave it on top of the dryer and then take the clothes out of the washer and put into the dryer?Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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Sorry the cat union says it's aprotected job.
Would someone paint my porch please?ludo ergo sumComment
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The dog next door ate my paintbrush.
Would you please take out the garbage?Comment
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I can't. I can't get a hold of any billy goats.
Comb your damn hair already. It looks like a rat's nest.Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
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I can't, the rats are refusing to move.
Unpack my bags for me, please.I don't go in for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"Comment
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Sorry but customs just said they need to hold them.
... Please wash my dishes."I'm not smiling because I'm happy. I'm smiling because every time I blink your head explodes!"
-RedComment
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I'm allergic to soap.
Brush my teeth, please?I don't go in for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"Comment
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There's no need for that...you brushed them last week.
I've lost my mind. Can you help me find it?Retail Haiku:
Depression sets in.
The hellhole is calling me ~
I don't want to go.Comment
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