Walmart joke :-)

[Terinka]

Thought you might like this one (warning, language)

So, after landing my new job as a Wal-mart greeter, I lasted less than a day ....
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,ugly, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed,I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-mart.Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind,or just stupid?' So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, ma'am,I just couldn't believe that anyone would fuck you twice.Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-mart'.

[Ironclad Alibi]

A new Wal-Mart greeter just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was a few minutes late, but because he was a good worker, rather than fire him outright, the boss called him for a talk. "Dick, I like your work ethic, and you're a smart guy, but your tardiness is becoming habitual." "Yeah, I know, boss. I'm working on it." "That's good. I hope you succeed. But I must admit: I'm surprised. You're retired from the military. What did they say when you came in late?" "They said, 'Good morning, General!' "

Two elderly Wal-Mart greeters were talking. "Slim, I'm 73 years old now and full of aches and pains. You're about my age; how do you feel?' Slim said, "I feel just like a new-born baby!" "Really, like a new-born baby?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!"