Dear Abby??

[Saydrah]

Dear Abby,

I beg to disagree with your response to Nicki in Maryland, who was bothered by customers continually touching her at her place of work. As a former retail employee, I was shocked to see that you recommended she merely speak with her supervisor, but not address the problem directly with the persons invading her personal space.

Retail employees have no less right to say "No!" to unwanted touching than any other human being. Moreover, a corporate culture of respect for employees fosters a healthy work environment, which is far more important to sales than the retention of a single pushy, touchy customer who does not respect employees. Happy employees confident in the support of their supervisor sell with smiles on their faces, rather than selling at arm's length with the continual fear of unwanted touch.

You should have advised Nicki to step away from customers who touch her without permission, smile, and say, "I'm sorry, but I am not comfortable with you touching me," and to call a supervisor to assist the customer in her place if touching continues.

Signed,
The Customer's Not Always Right

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

It's a little long, but here goes:

Dear Abby:

As a current retail employee, I was dismayed to read your response to Nicki in Maryland regarding customers touching her while she is doing her job.

Retail workers are people just like you and I, and some people, such as myself, are very protective of their personal space and react negatively to strangers touching them without permission. I would view grabbing an employee by the arm to drag them someplace as being especially rude.

To me, speaking with management, staying out of arms reach of people, and finding jobs that keep you away from people are not always possible in retail settings. And some people are in retail because they have to be; they can't find other jobs, so telling somebody to find a different job isn't the right answer either.

If a customer touches me without my permission, I will politely ask them not to do it again. I also do not reach out and grab a total stranger in a store to ask them a question. I do not think I should be made to feel bad for insisting on the same courtesy I show to others in my position.

Signed,
The customer Isn't Always Right

[Imogene]

Retail employees have no less right to say "No!" to unwanted touching than any other human being.

"I need an adult!"

Also:
Seems like Abby's gonna be getting a lot of letters from "The customer's not always right" or variations thereof...

[wagegoth]

Here's mine:

Dear Abby,

Since I often agree with your advice, I was surprised to be highly disappointed with your response to Nicki, the retail worker who was tired of being not only touched, but physically pulled about by customers. While your suggestion that she discuss how to handle things with her supervisor was good, the rest of your answer should have been lost, along with those overly touchy, pushy customers.

Every one has personal space, including service industry employees. A light touch on the arm is one thing, to be physically pulled about, or regularly touched about the shoulders or hands, is quite another. And to suggest that she should put up with such behavior to keep a customer or find another line of work is out of line. Frankly, some customers are not worth keeping, or need to be educated that retail employees are human beings and need to be treated that way.

Also, maybe she likes her job. Why should she give up a job she likes because of the occasional behavior of the rude and insensitive? Maybe the job works for her because of personal or school issues. Retail jobs often have the most flexible schedules.

As a former retail worker, I have many fond memories, but I also remember those people, from all levels of society, who believe that service industry employees are somehow less than human, temporary slaves to be treated as they see fit, and subjected to all manner of poor behavior without recourse.

I think you should consider this an excellent opportunity to educate your readers.

She's never had a real job. Just clueless.

[gunsage]

Dear Abby,

Given that you're likely more of a customer than a customer service employee and don't actually deal with them, you obviously don't understand what unwanted touching is especially at your ancient, antiquated, not-using-sundials-anymore, fossilized age...at least I hope, lest I down a bottle of 151 all at once as my substitute . It doesn't matter whether you're an 8 months pregnant woman getting accosted by people who think it's socially acceptable to rub your belly. It doesn't matter if you're an employee and you're touching them to say any of a NUMBER of things from "Have a good day" to "Jesus loves you."

And it also doesn't matter if you're getting sockpuppet style raped in a Tokyo substation...at least according to you. Sure, you're putting on a nice song and dance about the "customer always being right," a saying so old that it is only rivaled by your age. The truth is we must accept that without the consumer, a person who willingly enters a place of business in order to acquire services, there would be no businesses. We also have to understand that there are perverts, scam artists, assholes, complete dumbasses, bad parents, and much much more that you will never personally deal with sitting behind your typewriter...or would that be chisel and granite block?

Regardless, I don't have to deal with people touching me now that I'm in a position where I remotely deal with the public, so normally I would agree with your position, but alas, I cannot. You see, I HAVE worked positions where I dealt, face to face, with the public. It's an ugly thing. Even uglier is that you don't know these people and vice versa but are forced upon common grounds to communicate...and somehow, that makes it acceptable for them to touch you. Sorry, no. You can disagree all you like, but until I see you putting out at Tokyo bus stations, I highly recommend not insinuating that someone RAPING someone else's personal space for the "good of the sale" (starting to sound more and more like prostitution as I type this) is perfectly acceptable.

Readying a drink stiffer than...well...you do the math,



Gun Sage

P.S. YOU'RE OLD! LOL!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

My God Gunsage, if you actually send those letters out....

[gunsage]

I think my first one summed it up better, personally.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I double dog dare you.

[BusBus]

Just find a new job? It's not as easy as waiting for our mother to die in order to inherit her advice column Abby....

[FuzzyKitten99]

I double dog dare you.

I am executing a social faux pas, but I am skipping the plain triple-dare and going straight for the "I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!"

[mariamousie1]

Maybe she means not to tell them rudely? Like instead of saying "Get the hell out of my personal space before I beat the crap out of you," say "Excuse me, but could you please not touch me so much? It makes me uncomfortable." She should say that though. Bleh.

[gunsage]

If I really went through with, I'd probably start with "Dear Grabby."

[Chanlin]

Actually I would prefer a more passive aggressive approach.

Write in about the exact same issue IE personal space and being touched, but just write that it happens as an everyday occurrence and ask how to handle it without mentioning that you are a retail or service employee and see if the answer changes any.

[Becks]

Just find a new job? It's not as easy as waiting for our mother to die in order to inherit her advice column Abby....

Ooooooooooooh, how evil.

Maybe I should steal permanently borrow that.

[Pagan]

"Dear Abby,

I wish to register a complaint...."

I didn't think to save and post my response to Abby here. Suffice to say that mine is along the same lines as the others that are here.

How can she possibly think it's alright for customers to touch us without warning or our permission? I'm not currently in retail right now (had an epiphany and went back to school), but I suffered through 11 years. It shouldn't matter if we're at work or not, nobody, but nobody has the right to invade your personal space and touch you. And grabbing and pulling me somewhere? You might find that I will pull off your arm and beat you about the head with the bloody end!