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  • DERP!

    I like quiz format for some reason. I like it a lot! Sorry if you don't.

    Derp!

    You've been working hard all day. Your wife nags you. You get into an arguement. It's 11 pm. Do you:

    A: Accept that she's your wife, ignore her, and go to sleep.

    B: Put on headphones, listen to some soothing music, and go to sleep.

    C: Start throwing things, waking up your neighbors, start yelling, because it's your room and you can cry if you want to.

    D: Take a walk.

    If you're this SC, you picked C! His scared wife called the police. The police told the SC that he was not allowed to throw things about and yell on private property (which is the hotel). THe SC kept saying one thing over and over: "I didn't know!"

    Really, you didn't know that doing that will wake up your neighbors? Look, I get that it sucks when your SO is picking a fight. But you don't start fricking throwing things around! That's aggressive. And the police arrest aggressive people. THe police did arrest you because they're nice but maybe next time...Thanks to you, we got a lot angry customers that were woken from their beauty sleeps. D:<

    Crazy Coffee Guy's Wife

    You get up early around 5 am, just when the breakfast stafff is making coffee. You call down and ask if the coffee is ready. You get a response that it will be ready in about 5 min. Do you:

    A: Make some coffee from your room coffee pot.

    B: Wait 5 minutes and then go to get your coffee.

    C: Wait ONE minute, storm down, see that the coffee's not ready, go to the kitchen's door, bang on it screaming WHERE'S MY COFFEEE!@!!!, get no answer, go to the front desk, yell I JUST WANT MY COFFEE THERE'S NO COFFEE, CAN I GET SOME COFFEE I JSUT WANT SOME COFFFEEEEEE!!!!

    If you're this SC, you picked C! Yes! I met crazy Coffee Guy's wife today. I remember long ago some man was bitterly bitching that our coffee was not up to par as Starbux. Now this lady, Crazy Coffee Lady, after she finished yelling at me, she paced around in a fury while I went to check up on it. It was brewing. WHen It was done, she snatched herself up a cup so fast that she spilled half of it one the floor. It left me with only one thing to wonder: How do coffee shops stand those Crazy Coffee People? I've never worked in one, sadly, but they must get them all the time, surely? How do they stand them?

    Guess I'm too stupid to answer the phone!


    You've been drinking heavily at the bar. So your words are slurred. You don't want to go home because your wife will get mad. So you decide to call a hotel until you sober up. So you call, but, alas, your words are too slurred and the front desk worker can't understand. Do you:

    A: Go home anyway. Cabs cost less than hotels!

    B: Sober up and then call.

    C: Slur drunkenly at the front desk worker, slur louder when she doesn't understand, call her stupid and hang up when she still doesn't.

    If you're this charmer, you picked C!

    Yeah I has this gentleman. He was mumbling and slurring but yelled out YOU'RE STUPID! Oh so now when you're insulting me, I can hear you! OK! He called again after hanging up on me, but I guess I was too stupid to answer! WHOOPS! He didn't get serviced, and I hope the bar threw him out on his ass. Dumb rude fuck. Guess I'm too stupid to answer your calls! Pissed me off the most TBH.
    Last edited by HotelMinion; 09-08-2016, 06:31 AM.
    Can't reason with the unreasonable.
    The only thing worse than not getting hired is getting hired.

  • #2
    I hope the first "gentleman" is hit with the costs of all the comps he generated. And the cops should have hauled his sorry ass away...

    The second clown should have an entire pot of coffee dumped onto his head! A perma-ban here is in order!

    The drunk in the third story should have gotten a free room...at the "Graybar Motel"!

    Comment


    • #3
      Idiots like the second one on the list were one reason my former employer kept coffee in the lobby available 24-7. Also a nice thing to do for guests leaving for a red-eye who wanted a pick-me-up, but it also stopped people screaming for coffee.
      "I try to be curious about everything, even things that don't interest me." -Alex Trebek

      Comment


      • #4
        But was it FRESH coffee, made JUST for THEM?! How long had it been sitting when it was replaced? Fresh is better, doncha know?!?!?!?!

        Comment


        • #5
          My brother says there's no such thing as bad coffee...well, except for decaf...

          Seriously, he says unless it melts the spoon and deforms the cup it's not strong enough...

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth HotelMinion View Post
            It left me with only one thing to wonder: How do coffee shops stand those Crazy Coffee People? I've never worked in one, sadly, but they must get them all the time, surely? How do they stand them?
            Knowing that every once in a while we got to get it back from the coffee crazed.
            For instance when the power went out we would close the doors but could take drivethru window orders of anything that was already made. What we couldn't do, was open the till. So cash only, exact change only. When the power came back on we'd ring in our list, pay the till, and everything left was ours. People would buy 1 coffee with a 20$ bill, because that was all they had! And they desperately needed the coffee! Power outages it wasn't unusual to come home with $100+ in involuntary tips. And free floor show being yelled at by the coffee deprived. Win-win.
            Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

            Comment


            • #7
              Navel Destroyer Coffee - brewed by real (wannabe) sailors!
              I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
              Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
              Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

              Comment


              • #8
                THe police did arrest you because they're nice but maybe next time...
                Did you, perhaps, mean "didn't arrest" ...?
                Quoth eltf177 View Post
                Seriously, he says unless it melts the spoon and deforms the cup it's not strong enough...
                He would feel right at home back in New Orleans...where people like their coffee black, strong enough to sit up and bark, with chicory added to the mix in order to mellow it out.
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth NecessaryCatharsis View Post
                  Knowing that every once in a while we got to get it back from the coffee crazed.
                  For instance when the power went out we would close the doors but could take drivethru window orders of anything that was already made. What we couldn't do, was open the till. So cash only, exact change only. When the power came back on we'd ring in our list, pay the till, and everything left was ours. People would buy 1 coffee with a 20$ bill, because that was all they had! And they desperately needed the coffee! Power outages it wasn't unusual to come home with $100+ in involuntary tips. And free floor show being yelled at by the coffee deprived. Win-win.
                  This reminds me that I need to get a french press, so I can make coffee even if the power is out. Last winter (or whenever?) the power went out for a lot of the town I live in. It was only out at my house for like 15 minutes, but somehow nearly all of the Green Mermaids were dark. The one that had power had a line of cars out to the road. And the drive through isn't even close to the road, you have to drive around all of the parking area. I didn't see this, because I was able to make my own coffee, I heard this from a guy at school who drove around to find his coffee fix.

                  I couldn't work in a coffee shop. I don't have the constitution for it. Also couldn't work at a hotel. People are too weird and needy at both of those places. Customers are all "like, omg, I can't scream and break stuff in a hotel room without getting the cops called on me?? How could I possible know this???"
                  Replace anger management with stupidity management.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You could get an Aeropress. I like mine, for when I just want a single cup of coffee. Works well with my Zojirushi water heater.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth eltf177 View Post
                      My brother says there's no such thing as bad coffee...well, except for decaf...

                      Seriously, he says unless it melts the spoon and deforms the cup it's not strong enough...
                      he'd love this coffee (http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/australian-...resso-1580147#) then . 80 times stronger than espresso and is supposed to be drunken over a few hours.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth eltf177 View Post
                        My brother says there's no such thing as bad coffee...well, except for decaf...

                        Seriously, he says unless it melts the spoon and deforms the cup it's not strong enough...
                        This is correct, you know
                        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          URL

                          Quoth eltf177 View Post
                          My brother says there's no such thing as bad coffee...well, except for decaf...

                          Seriously, he says unless it melts the spoon and deforms the cup it's not strong enough...
                          Give him this URL: http://www.deathwishcoffee.com/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth EricKei View Post
                            Did you, perhaps, mean "didn't arrest" ...?

                            He would feel right at home back in New Orleans...where people like their coffee black, strong enough to sit up and bark, with chicory added to the mix in order to mellow it out.
                            Mmyeah, it was a typo. Too lazy to fix. But everyone got it right? He only got a warning since his wife wasn't harmed. Just scared. Though, I think he should've gotten arrested. Not that I'm not sympathetic. But he disturbed others that had nothing to do with it. And that's just not right. Good thing I haven't heard a peep from them.

                            Update on Crazy Coffee Lady: Turns out, she's the MIL of the owner! She complained about me, I think, to the GM. The GM mentioned it: "So I take it that you met the MIL of the owner?" I was like who? Oh no, don't tell it was Crazy Coffee Lady! It was. Relatives of the owner are speshul VIPs that can get you written up if they're not pleased. Fortunately, GM didn't say any more , or scold me, but I just KNOW that CCL complained about me! My hotel senses were tingling. I feel pity for the owner to have an MIL like that. I mean at least she's not mine. *shudder*

                            Mm coffee *sips* Though I'm trying not to drink it, it stains my teeth and gives me a tummy ache. But it's soooo good!
                            Last edited by HotelMinion; 09-09-2016, 03:58 AM.
                            Can't reason with the unreasonable.
                            The only thing worse than not getting hired is getting hired.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              My late mother made coffee in one of those old-style percolators that was so strong I'm surprised it didn't go right through the bottom of the cup, and if you stirred it with a spoon you might just get back the stem. Eltf177's brother would have loved it.

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