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  • How not to treat a patients family member

    My husband had major surgery. 10 hour plus. This particular surgeon has taken care of my husband 4 times before. Great guy, super surgeon. The nurses and docs even say if they needed a procedure they would call this dude. He has a policy. Every hour on the hour you - the nurse assigned this task - call the family and give an update. Every other time I had been there it happened. This time not a word.

    Understandably I am a bit concerned. No word? 10 hours? I go to the or desk and talk to the volunteer every hour. She checks, no word. Other people are getting updates. At 7 pm she goes home and posts the number you call to get updates in the recovery room. Also, the recovery room can check on surgery patients and the doctors tend to update thru recovery because the recovery nurse is assigned the patient.

    I called at 8 and was basically told, shut up and wait, he's not in recovery so stop whining and wait my turn like a good girl. Wait? What? I was polite and asked nicely and the poster in the waiting room says to call this number. I call the other number and they basically tell me sorry what do you want us to do we are security.

    I wait one more hour and the surgeon cheerfully walks out, iPad in hand to show me picture and diagrams and video of what he did. He is so proud, he saved my husbands leg. I burst into tears. He asked if I had been getting updates? Hadn't anyone called. He was telling them updates for me every hour. He even had given them my cell number so if I needed to I could go home and rest. I told him about the asshole in recovery.

    I happen to have delt with 4 of the recovery nurses before, they know me and like me because I come in and comfort my husband and chat and generally ask them about them. Apparently they overheard the conversation and could identify the culprit.

    When they took me back the guy who was rude was no where to be seen. My other nurses came together to get us to Icu as quick as they could. I got hugs and apologies. I was never rude or mean but damn I wanted to punch that guy so hard.

    I have never had someone so lacking in empathy.

    I'm not at the hospital for fun. In those ten hour waiting I helped people find maternity, showed people to the cafe, got people to the right wing of the hospital who were lost and gave people some idea where to stay that had medical rates. I gave some kids graham crackers I had in my big pink purse and loaned someone a phone charger. I gave someone directions to a place to eat that would respect their allergies.

    When your at the hospital its hell. Why make it worse?

  • #2
    That is appalling. You can report it to Patient Services. But it sounds like your doctor could be taking care of discipline. I have experienced some mean people too. I was a patient waiting for a biopsy. I waited all day. My nurse kept calling and got no info. Finally it was 5pm so obviously no biopsy. We complained no one had told us anything and got told "we have other patients you know" which is an excuse for not doing the biopsy but NOT an excuse for no phone call to my nurse. Some people are just asses. I'm glad you have a good doctor and the surgery was a good result.

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    • #3
      I, too, experienced some terrible care at a hospital. After I'd dislocated my knee, the ambulance came and brought me to the hospital. At the time, I was under the assumption that I was allergic to all opiates, just like my uncle, mother and sister, so I didn't have any pain meds at that time at all.

      I was left on a gurney in the emergency room for a while, with no pain medication at all, waiting for a room to open up, when a nurse came in to take x-rays. Mind you, my entire lower leg was rotated to the right, and my patella was located somewhere near the back of the knee joint. I was cooperative enough to let them x-ray the leg in a prone position, but when the nurse demanded that I raise the leg and hold it in midair, I told her that I needed some pain medicine in order to do that. She told me that there were other people waiting and that I needed to do this now. At that point, I quite literally screamed at her for medicine immediately! Only then did I get a dose of morphine.

      I wound up being in hospital for 8 days, due to having to have a knee reduction, then a reconstruction and allografts, after having to have an infection taken care of. The day after surgery, I started physical therapy, and the therapist was great. However, the day after that, I got this person, who was rude and unkind to me, even though I did everything he/she said (I couldn't tell, and didn't care), but I was in tears, and he/she told me to shut up and had absolutely no empathy for me, and made me feel like I was doing everything wrong, and I wished my parents had stayed in the room to prevent that treatment.

      Needless to say, when I had to have another surgery last year, I chose to go to another hospital, where the treatment was quite a bit better.

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      • #4
        The nurse practitioner came in today. She asked some questions and did documentation. They are preparing in case we sue the hospital. Not for this but for the hospital sending my husband home instead of calling my husbands surgeon when he came in with a blister on his foot that tested positive for gangegrene and instead told us to "go home and see your General Practioner". When we saw the General Practioner he freaked out and called the surgeon at his practice and had us admitted and in surgery the first time. Then the rushed us home and this second infection. Cost him another toe. Now my surgeon is documenting everything to make sure they can't try and blame him. We got a new room last night. The room was "clean". Except for the puddle of god knows what dried on the floor. The nurse Practioner asked about the puddle wording it was something draining from his leg. We explained that that was there when we came from the Icu. Btw this is the top rated hospital in the city. At least we have a great doctor, surgeon, nurse Practioner.

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