I got published on a cool website!

[JoitheArtist]

EEEEEE! I'm so excited about this! I love this site.

Here's my piece: http://www.theestablishment.co/2016/...r-been-kissed/

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Excellent piece! Very well written. I can somewhat understand the struggle you are going through. I was single from 16 to 26. The woman I am now married to, whom I love deeply, is not the kind of person I thought I would find myself with. She is definitely a bit curvy and I admit that, when I saw her for the first time she looked a little different than she had in the photo. Just the same I wasn't willing to discount the possibility of a deeper relationship on that basis alone. We just recently celebrated 10 years together (relationship total, not marriage. We'll be married 8 years this year).

Before I met her I swore I would be single at still a virgin at 40. Like you I didn't garner much attention from the opposite sex. Like you, I'd hit a lot of dead ends and online relationships that didn't pan out.

I know it's difficult in a society and culture that is ALL about looks to get beyond that, but it does happen sometimes.

While I can't really relate to you on that level since I am in a relationship, there is another area I can. Despite our long relationship, my wife and I still have no kids (not for lack of trying). She has some medical issues that make pregnancy difficult.

Practically everyone else I know has kids now and the clock keeps ticking. She's 33 and I am almost 35. I had planned to have kids no later than 28 but as you can see I blew past that.

I am starting to accept the fact I may never have biological children. It's very difficult nigh almost impossible to not get hung up on that sometimes, but I just need to accept that I have to walk my own path in life and maybe my path doesn't include children. In a lot of respects I've never had the "typical" life: Sex at 16, dating by 21, married and kids by 26.

But I kind of like it that way because it means I have a unique story. It reinforces the fact that there really is only one me and no one else can live the life I live. So I choose to make the most of it.

I think the most important thing in life is have passions and follow them. If they lead you to romance and intimacy with someone, great! But if not they can still provide you a lot of fulfilment, purpose and focus. You obviously have some skills at writing so that's one potential passion area.

Have you considered expanding the article into an entire book? I think it might have potential.

[Mr Hero]

I can relate. I'm almost 36, haven't had many serious relationships, and my first kiss was a few months before my 33rd birthday. I got engaged to that same girl on said 33rd birthday, but she broke up with me a few weeks later, ironically on my parents' anniversary.

Since then, I really haven't had opportunities to date, so I've been keeping busy with other hobbies and participating in service with my church. I wish I had some grandiose earth-shattering wisdom to share having been in a similar situation, but the only thing I can say is don't get discouraged. Keep being you, and keep working on the things in your control Never lose hope.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Very well written, Joi.

Even for those of us who have had relationships over the years, it's difficult to find that one to spend the rest of one's life with. I've just turned 47 and I'm still single (never been married) and it's looking as if this is my fate.

Oh well . . . I guess it could be worse. I could be married to someone I wanted dead on a daily basis.

[Victory Sabre]

I also see a lot of me in your article. 42, never married. Fairly decent shape, average height, and the worst luck dating. Two years ago, I was dating an amazing woman, whom I've known since high school (she had a thing for me back then, but never told me). We really cared about each other, but couldn't make it work, because of my lack of free time and distance. She's the "one that got away" for me. I had the honor Friday of being at her wedding reception, and her now husband has my seal of approval.

I keep looking. I am on a couple of dating sites. One has 2 local matches (at the moment). The other doesn't have many more that meet my basic filters (single, XX chromosome, non smoker, non drug user). Oh, well, I keep trying.

[JoitheArtist]

So, uh, the piece got published on the front page of HuffPost Women. And I've been invited to appear on a radio show to discuss it on Wednesday.

[Rapscallion]

Listening now, but blimey the US radio stations have loads of adverts...

Rapscallion

[HotelMinion]

Grats! Great article. Everyone I know thinks I'm weird for being alone and not throwing myself out there. But I go by the saying, it's better to be alone and miserable than with someone and miserable. Freedom ftw