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  • Granny Wars!

    Only sucky because of the cleanup involved (especially with the new cleaning procedures) and mostly hilarious.

    Two grannies. Neither want to pass the other in the oh so narrow aisles because of the whole Corvid-19 thing. Despite the fact we have specific times for seniors and have been waving delivery fees because many people can’t leave their house right now.

    Instead of backing up and letting the other pass (the maturity!) they decide to stand anoint 10ft away from each other and lob cans at the other. An effective tactic to make people move, albeit violent... if only they were able to throw more then 3ft away from themselves.

    Sucky because of all that wasted product and the mess and the cleanup and can we act like fucking adults already!

    Oh but that’s not all. They had to exchange terrible insults. As in the kind of thing you’d see on a satire about a bad drama show bad. Like did you steal those insults from a 4 year old? You’re almost a century and that’s the best you can come up with.

    Then when GW1 ended. Shortly thereafter, GW2 began. This time with the grannies following each other as the each tried to pick a healthier/more natural/organic/or cheaper version of whatever the other was grabbing. Then loudly proclaiming how they were the better granny because the product they picked had 30 less calories, or less sugar, etc in a very loud voice. It was like watching a senile version of Gollum arguing with himself. Except it was two people.

    Also, they insisted on doing the same thing at checkout. Getting bitchy over a few cents or a coupon the other had that this one didn’t have or know about.
    Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

  • #2
    Youtube

    We need video. People like this need to be shamed world-wide.

    Comment


    • #3
      I can see only two sets of circumstances:
      1: they were rivals since high school;
      2: they were siblings.
      This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
      I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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      • #4
        Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
        I can see only two sets of circumstances:
        1: they were rivals since high school;
        2: they were siblings.
        Or one of them slept with the husband/Boyfriend of the other at some point in their lifetime.
        Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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        • #5
          Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
          We need video. People like this need to be shamed world-wide.
          I second this.

          I can see the new series now: Grannies Gone Wild,
          Eh, one day I'll have something useful here. Until then, have a cookie or two.

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          • #6
            Quoth Android Kaeli View Post
            I second this.

            I can see the new series now: Grannies Gone Wild,
            I would even pay to see that.

            The worst I've had is idiot old people. Husband and wife come through my line, both seem somewhat surly (not at me, I think, but as I couldn't imagine what I might have done to piss them off, I didn't really care, either). We briefly talked about facemasks. Husband jerks his head at wife. "She won't wear one." Said surlily. Okay, well, she's probably an idiot then.

            Second husband and wife team. We've had plexiglass shields put up at the registers. It makes it damn hard to heard the customers, so I'm hoping they will put little speaker grills in them but who knows. Wife taps the plexiglass: "So when are these coming down?" Not in your lifetime or mine, lady.
            Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
            ~ Mr Hero

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            • #7
              Can I veto the title "Grannies Gone Wild"?? Because that does not imply fighting, that implies something else. Something I don't want to see.
              Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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              • #8
                Quoth notalwaysright View Post
                Can I veto the title "Grannies Gone Wild"?? Because that does not imply fighting, that implies something else. Something I don't want to see.
                How about "Grannies Gone Feral?"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hell's Grannies!...oh, wait, that's been done.
                  I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                  My LiveJournal
                  A page we can all agree with!

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                  • #10
                    This is the granny you don't want to mess with.
                    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My crazy ass(and not for the reasons of mental illness as she has none beyond having been born crazy) great-something or other gran (picture little Russian yoda. Female, and slightly less green. Yes to the big ears though...) is handling quarantine by barricading her room from the live in nurse and blasting rock music. Last time I got a call it was to convince her that no, there shouldn’t be a head banging granny group at her house (supposedly to ‘catch up over tea’....yeah why anyone bought that I have no idea) and please let the nice nurses in to collect their charges. Just because you survived ww2, smuggling people out of soviet Russian during a war, and flying those paper airplanes of the Night Witches does not in fact make you immortal. Possibly a Demi-goddess. But not immune to infectious viruses. Though I’m sure she would invite death to a sit down for wine and cakes (Rasputin style) if she could.

                      Is it just because old people have lived through all life’s shit that they just don’t give any fucks anymore about things like normal?
                      Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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