The Dangers of Being a Bouncer (Warning: Long and Violent)

[depechemodefan]

Huh, not at all like Striptease, by Carl Hiassen...wait, it like Striptease, by Carl Hiassen. Shad the bouncer had a red out when one customer got ugly with a dancer and he beat the guy's nose to a pulp until the dancer, Erin, got his attention.

Also, imagine the guy's wife when she finds out he was in a tittie bar. He'd probably be happy to be in jail. Unless he was a migrant worker, who probably never see his wife until like when there's nothing left to harvest...though if he's an illegal migrant, he might have had his ass shipped back home.

Anywho, you probably be ok. I wouldn't worry too much about hurting loved ones. I realized one time (though I didn't have a red out, really) that once I went to far with the anger, that my mind keeps on reminding itself not to get that angry again (if that makes sence).

OT, you know, it's just weird to me that Vietnam vets have college age grandchildren. I remember growing up, I had fellow classmates whose dads were in Vietnam. Granted, my dad was in WWII; he was almost 50 when I was born.

[Polenicus]

To the Op, I don't think you need to worry so much about going Berserker on your friends and family. This was an EXTREME situation, and basically the deck was stacked against you. Let's look at all the factors:

1. You were in an unfamiliar place. You didn't know the bar, your fellow employees, the types of patrons... completely unfamiliar ground.

2. You were not in a familiar situation. You hadn't worked as a bouncer before, I believe you said you were new to the area, and you don't seem the type to be a big nudie bar patron. So, loud music, lots of flashing lights and mist generators, a lot of responsibility and a whole lot of nagging uncertainty about how to do your job.

3. Your position held a LOT of responsibility. Any sort of security is stressful because if you screw up the consequences tend to be pretty bad. Not only do you have to protect people and property, and impose your will on people who don't WANT to listen to you, you have to do it the right way or you run into a bunch of nasty legalities.

4. This guy's first response to you was a completely unexpected and unprovoked attempt on your life. This was also the first time you'd ever been in that situation. He also managed to inflict quite a bit of damage with his first attack.

5. You're martial arts trained. This showed in your response to the knife.

Basically, overload. IF you had been on the job more than a few hours, IF you were familiar with the place, IF you had done security work before and been in this situation, IF you hadn't been trained with the knowledge required to basically dismantle another human being, this whole situation might have gone much differently.

This wasn't a fair situation to be in. Your reactions were more or less perception of lethal threat to your person, and an attempt to remove that threat, though once you started into the motions of it, you were in shock and not cognizant enough to evaluate the threat, so you just kept reacting as if he had the knife and was threatening you.

I suspect, given a little time and experience, and something less that a lethal-force encounter on your first hour on the job, you would have made an excellent bouncer, and not responded anything like this even a week or two into the job.

[SilverOrb]

For what it's worth, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I've had several friend's that were bouncers, but if any of them had stuff like that happen, they never told me.

[Becks]

I'm speechless.

[Kirkygirl]

Whoa dude! I've actually had seven years of formal martial arts training including kickboxing, escrima, and boxing. In fact, one of my senseis said that when someone pulls a knife, the first thing he goes for is his wallet. But for you to have to actually deal with the knife must have been freaky. I can only imagine the horror that you feel heading into a strip club or any sort of place with a lot of people there.
Maybe you can ask one of your fellow graduates or one of your teachers if they can help allay your fears regarding your phobias. Also, try and find a punching bag. Put all your anger and all your energy into your kicks and punches, and just beat the shit out of it. That might help too.
I know there are a lot of people saying that the dancer owes you her life, but you taught a lesson to everyone in the club that night: never piss off the bouncer. Otherwise, they just might go Bas Rutten on you.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

Forgive me for being skeptical, but we just had a wild tale from a first time poster a little while ago. This sounds very far-fetched, like a movie. It is very well written, as was the story I just mentioned. It's an extraordinary tale, that's al I'm sayin'.

If it is true, then I commend you for defending yourself, but you need more work on your self control. There might be something more to it, like a mental unbalance.

My cousin was a bouncer for a while. He's a lot like you(personality, size, and everything), but he is also certifiably nutters.

[Applerod]

I see no evidence to suggest you're a danger to anyone who doesn't already represent a direct physical threat to you or those close to you. What set you off and certainly initiated the fight-or-flight response was this guy suddenly whipping around trying to plunge a knife into your chest; and under such an extreme circumstance it's natural to lose some restraint over your body while you deal with the threat. It just so happens you're a big guy and not unfamiliar with combat.
The fight-or-flight instinct is a survival mechanism -- one without which humans would never have ascended to the top of the food chain. This primal impulse still exists in each and every one of us, though its usefulness has been displaced by the innumerable stressors and constraints of modern society. As a student of psychology, your know that when a situation is interpreted as threatening it sets off biological processes beyond conscious control.

In any case it’s been four yeas and the whole experience haunts me still. It’s ok to be confident in one’s ability to defend oneself or those you love as the situation may require. To do that requires control. I had no control whatsoever. I’m a danger to everyone I know, simply by being near them I might go off again and hurt someone. God forbid I should turn on my own mother or brother.

Your reaction was not pathological; it was human. Please remember that. The only people who don't lose control while fighting for their lives are those with serious training and experience.
(It sounds like continuing to practice/study fighting/self-defense is helping your confidence. You face an unusual challenge in the arena of confidence in that your size and strength is enough to defeat most attackers; but this advantage also carries with it a greater burden of responsibility...)

[tollbaby]

Happened to me once. Guy I had been dating stole all my money and ditched me, only to come back MONTHS later, and expected to just pick up where we had left off. When I refused to go with him, he slapped me, and that's the last thing I remember. He went to jail straight from the hospital, since he had a federal warrant out for his arrest, but from what I was told after the fact, I broke bones. Several. I have no idea how I did so, nor do I want to know. *shudder*

[Moggie]

I know it's a bit excessive to quote a whole post but I do think that Polenicus summed it up very clearly and coherantly. If you *want* to, I suspect you could do a job like that just fine in the future with some extra preperation.

*MOD EDIT - If you know it's excessive then don't do it. I provided a link to the post in question

[Saydrah]

Forgive me for being skeptical, but we just had a wild tale from a first time poster a little while ago. This sounds very far-fetched, like a movie. It is very well written, as was the story I just mentioned. It's an extraordinary tale, that's al I'm sayin'.

I had this thought also. It seems to me that the story may well be true from others' comments about the same phenomenon. It then occurred to me that it may not ring true to some of us here because the OP is new and hasn't picked up the "style" common to CS posts yet, with the

SC: Rar!
Me: Eep

dialogue and all. It's very well-written and does not imitate the style of other posts here, so it seems a bit out of place, like a short story or a movie. But perhaps OP just writes this way and has not read many other posts, or chooses not to imitate the style of others.

Or, it may not be true.

Either way it's a good story and very interesting information about the redout phenomenon in this thread. Also now know where not to go walking at night in Fla!

[Chrysophase]

Skepticism Response

I response to anyone who thinks my experience is all or in part fabricated, I have only but one thing to say: I warned you. I told you at the very beginning of my post that my story might be hard to believe for some. In my jobs since then I have been asked to tell that story and beeen met with skepticism, some people outright telling me I was a liar even after displaying my scar, naming the place, as well as all those involved. I am used to this and not at all surprised that some people would take the same view.

For those people who don't want to believe me, that's fine, I don't expect you to. To those who felt my post was "too well written, like a movie" I would like to thank you. The fact is that I began to work for myself as a full time writer in March of this year. I have since been stuck writing informative and instructive articles for a pittance, but am slowly gaining experience and clawing my way up the ladder. I take that criticism as the highest compliment, though I realize this admission throws further doubt on my claim.

For those people who do not believe me because they don't think that such things happen or are likely to happen, I can only warn them to pull their heads out of the sand. Acts of sadistic violence and torture occur every day in every part of the world. Those who wish to turn a blind eye to that ugly fact only serve to make themselves more vulnerable to the predations of others. Again, whether you wish to follow this advice is entirely your choice and responsibility.

I am not writing to defend my posting, as there is no way I can make someone believe me who genuinely does not wish to. I simply wish to make a few clarifying points to those who cannot believe me.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

I had this thought also. It seems to me that the story may well be true from others' comments about the same phenomenon. It then occurred to me that it may not ring true to some of us here because the OP is new and hasn't picked up the "style" common to CS posts yet, with the

SC: Rar!
Me: Eep

dialogue and all.

Or, it may not be true.

Good point. I'll trust the OP until given a reason not to. This is why we put our faith in our resident mods, who do their job quite well. If they believe it, I'll believe it.

Guy I had been dating stole all my money and ditched me, only to come back MONTHS later, and expected to just pick up where we had left off. When I refused to go with him, he slapped me, and that's the last thing I remember.

Damn tollbaby, you ARE an awesome bitch! *in the voice of Mr. T* I pity the fool who tries to mess with your kids!

[Jester]

I was going to make some comments, but Polenicus said just about everything I was going to say, and more, and said it better than I could have.

The problem is that I am not an angry person, up to the moment I was attacked I was competely calm. Herein is the issue.

And as Polenicus said, this was an extreme situation. And due to that and the fact that you are not an angry person, you should not worry yourself about what you might do to loved ones. After all, it sounds like this sort of thing is not common in your life...by the way you talk about it, I am guessing this is the only time it happened.

So unless your cousin comes at you with no warning with a knife aimed at your chest, I would say you can relax--you aren't going to be hurting any innocent bystanders or loved ones anytime soon, if ever.

And if your cousin DOES do that, it's not like I didn't warn him!

[Salesmonkey]

You've learned two valuable lessons from this. It was a painful way, but you are obviously wiser from it.

You have learned that the darkness within us can often be much more frightening than the darkness of other people.

More importantly, you've learned that it's easier to control our own behaviour than to control our emotions. Since you don't like strip clubs, I'm assuming you don't go there. So even though your actions, and their ethical ramifications, frightened you, you still have control over your surroundings and your ability to get out of danger. Very few people have been hurt studying English lit and Psychology - although I have to admit I once got into a shoving match over interpretations of Plato. You have obviously taken control of yourself and your life, so you can go ahead with courage. Best wishes.

[MystyGlyttyr]

I've had a few "red outs" myself in my day...not only in fight situations, but in times where I've "woken up" from doing something out of the ordinary that wasn't violent...but I've fortunately never hurt anyone innocent. In my experience, that sort of behavior tends to focus itself only in the direction of some kind of threat, so it tends to only fall on people who need it. I understand the feeling of worrying about one day hurting someone you love, though, so you have my sympathies there.

From your description of the attacker, though, yes, it very much sounds like he was a predator who was stalking the dancer and just waiting until he was ready to attack her, probably thinking no one would bother or have balls for getting in his way.