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  • #1

    Speechless "Da Frell?!" Face

    Okay, I work as a delivery driver for a not-quite-local office of a pizza place.
    My first night of doing food delivery, I get THIS guy... First he orders one pizza and tells me "Third house on the left". Then, come to find out he lives 8 miles up a fire road (graveled so much it's like asphalt now), and there are TWO houses on the left, NOT three... I find him, get turned around...
    ...and smell the whiskey from INSIDE the air with the air turned on!
    Dude hands me $20.02 and stumbles away. Pizza cost $19.52.
    Then he faceplants in his pizza getting up his stairs, and I get the REPLACEMENT order for $18 only to get STIFFED this time. GRRRRR!!!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Don't think of it as getting stiffed - imagine you're delivering in 1930, and you got a whole shiney QUARTER for each run!

    Or put him on "the list." Yeah, that's probably more realistic.

    (And I suspect it's wrong of me, but I think it'd almost be worth the wasted gas to see Mr. 50 Cents with the grease smeared box ink on his face.... )

    Comment

    • #3
      I always hated doing replacement orders -- the tip was generally just as good as the one he gave...AND because it was free, that meant no gas money/commish, either! Bonus points if it was to replace an order a DIFFERENT driver screwed up...which was 80% of the time or better.
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

      Comment

      • #4
        Then he faceplants in his pizza getting up his stairs
        This made me laugh so hard. And why does he need a replacement? It's on his face! That's half the battle right there!
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

        Comment

        • #5
          in tyger's defense the area he delivers in (city wise), is a piss poor dry county.

          I did tell him about the notebook to make notes on,and remember the tippers....and how much they tip. that way if they stiff you once and honestly say I'll make it up next time, you can give them the benefit of the doubt.
          It is by snark alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire 'tude, the lips acquire mouthiness, the glares become a warning.

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Sarlon View Post
            that way if they stiff you once and honestly say I'll make it up next time, you can give them the benefit of the doubt.
            Generally speaking, no matter what part of the country you are in, that phrase almost always means "I am going to keep on saying that every time I order but never make good on my 'promise' ".
            I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
            -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

            "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth Tyg3rW01f View Post
              Then he faceplants in his pizza getting up his stairs, and I get the REPLACEMENT order
              Why in the world would you replace his pizza? HE'S the one who ruined it, I can't see any way it's the store's fault or yours...

              Comment

              • #8
                E - If I read the Op correctly, the replacement was a paid order. I have seen times, more often than not, that such a replacement would be free, even if the customer had actually admitted to screwing things up himself. 'Twas in the interest of keeping customers happy. Same reason why my SM back at DaddyJim's accepted ANY coupon we put out, EVER, regardless of age. Well, that, and "If they have a coupon that old, they MUST be lifelong customers!" ... Noooo, chances are that they just cleaned out their couch and couldn't resist the opportunity to try and get a large Works for six bucks.
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                Comment

                • #9
                  Well, everybody is correct. Guy DID pay for the replacement pizza... HOWEVER, as it turns out, I got the full story TONIGHT.
                  After guy faceplanted in the pizza, he lay there, passed out for about an hour (which made up most of the 2 hours I failed to mention in my haste to shorten the story) and then called the store wanting to complain. L, the Manager on shift that night, reasoned with him, and got him to pay for another pizza... which *I* got to deliver.
                  ---------------
                  TONIGHT...
                  ...was deader than dead-as-a-hammer, and this one guy... Lives in the back-@5$ of the back-@5$ of Never-been-out-of-the-holler... orders $75 in food. THREE Delivery bags!!
                  Gives me the spare change in his pocket as a tip. $0.34.
                  AFTER he was told that such a large order was supposed to have a 10% MINIMUM tip by A, the Manager on tonight.
                  I HATE SC's like this guy.
                  Then there were the FOUR >>>EXACT CHANGE<<< orders... RRRRRRRRRRRR....
                  ...and all this for a total of EIGHT deliveries (between two drivers) and 15 carry-outs over the course of six hours.
                  Last edited by Tyg3rW01f; 07-12-2013, 04:05 AM.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth Tyg3rW01f View Post
                    TONIGHT...
                    ...was deader than dead-as-a-hammer, and this one guy... Lives in the back-@5$ of the back-@5$ of Never-been-out-of-the-holler... orders $75 in food. THREE Delivery bags!!
                    Gives me the spare change in his pocket as a tip. $0.34.
                    AFTER he was told that such a large order was supposed to have a 10% MINIMUM tip by A, the Manager on tonight.
                    I HATE SC's like this guy.
                    Then there were the FOUR >>>EXACT CHANGE<<< orders... RRRRRRRRRRRR....
                    ...and all this for a total of EIGHT deliveries (between two drivers) and 15 carry-outs over the course of six hours.
                    Welcome to the wonderfull world of pizza delivery. This happens at the beginning of the month (anicdotially accroding to other delivery drivers accross the country I communicate with) "Welfare WEEK". A week that we all know the outcome --- no/low tips and semi-big orders.
                    I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                    -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

                    "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      We wouldnt hold it against you if you gave the guy a good hard kick in the mivonks!
                      I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Two weeks back, in the pouring rain, we had pizza delivery. We tend to do so every Friday. By the time we ordered it was pretty late. The truly sad thing was the comment from our driver; "this is the first tip I've had all night". The hell is wrong with people??
                        But the paint on me is beginning to dry
                        And it's not what I wanted to be
                        The weight on me
                        Is Hanging on to a weary angel - Sister Hazel

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth RayvenQ View Post
                          We wouldnt hold it against you if you gave the guy a good hard kick in the mivonks!
                          no, but my boss WOULD!!!

                          Quoth Ophbalance
                          Two weeks back, in the pouring rain, we had pizza delivery. We tend to do so every Friday. By the time we ordered it was pretty late. The truly sad thing was the comment from our driver; "this is the first tip I've had all night". The hell is wrong with people??
                          95% of all people are either complete idiots, or else they think that $2.50 Delivery Fee IS your tip. It is NOT!! It is supposed to recover the $15 you take out on every trip to make change... hence the reason they want every driver on 6 runs a night, OR making at least $15 in tips to make up for the "Change Till".
                          People don't realize that the $15 "Change Till" is a HUGE account liability that normally winds up being a 75% loss. In fact, we had a driver tonight who wound up OWING $45 because no one tipped him and three people requested change! J. is a two-time Iraq veteran, and he had to PAY OUT because these SCs were crap-suckers.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth Tyg3rW01f View Post
                            no, but my boss WOULD!!!



                            95% of all people are either complete idiots, or else they think that $2.50 Delivery Fee IS your tip. It is NOT!! It is supposed to recover the $15 you take out on every trip to make change... hence the reason they want every driver on 6 runs a night, OR making at least $15 in tips to make up for the "Change Till".
                            People don't realize that the $15 "Change Till" is a HUGE account liability that normally winds up being a 75% loss. In fact, we had a driver tonight who wound up OWING $45 because no one tipped him and three people requested change! J. is a two-time Iraq veteran, and he had to PAY OUT because these SCs were crap-suckers.
                            Some people have never heard of the change till. I can't be the only one. I tip the delivery folks, but honestly I'd never heard of this before, I just knew I should tip.
                            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Ophbalance View Post
                              Two weeks back, in the pouring rain, we had pizza delivery. We tend to do so every Friday. By the time we ordered it was pretty late. The truly sad thing was the comment from our driver; "this is the first tip I've had all night". The hell is wrong with people??
                              some of the worse tip nights I have ever had have been during blizzard conditions (and I do mean BLIZZARD) and bad weather. WHY????? I really can not answer that question without reaching for a machette or an AK-47 (must control the Fist of Death)

                              as to the Delivery Charge ---- in the bigger pizza chains this fee is what the company charges now for the convienance of delivery. It does not go to the driver NOR does any protion of it go to the driver. IT goes directly into company's revenue stream. Any reimbursement the driver receives (which barely covers our gas in most cases) is expensed out from a different account. Yes I have seen my stores P&L statement.

                              The companies claim that DC is supposed to cover some their expenses related to delivery. Mostly it covers increases in commodity prices without the need to increase the product ie pizza price the customer pays.

                              but the funny thing is is 10 or so years ago delivery was FREE as in NO Delivery Charge or Fee. Companies also paid their drivers minimum wage and paid the IRS recommended per mile reimbuirsement to their drivers for the use of their vehicles.
                              I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                              -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

                              "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

                              Comment

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