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We're all out of red, Dave.

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  • We're all out of red, Dave.

    We only one had one red microwave.

    "Are there any more microwaves?" a customer asked. "And if not can you sell me that one? Can you sell me the display?"

    "Um, no Miss, it doesn't work," I said.

    "Yes it does." Strangely her well thought out counterargument did not win her this debate as I explained to her that the red microwave was a display model and did not even have a cord for plugging it in.

    "Well, do you have any other red ones in the back?"

    "No miss," I said. "Everything we have to sell is on this shelf."

    "Right but do you have a red microwave in any of these other brands," she gestured to the whole shelf of microwaves, containing no displays or boxes, or empty spaces with a label announcing the presence of a red microwave.

    "No Miss, I'm sorry. This brand here is the only one we carry that comes in red. We don't have (I started pointing to each unique brand on the shelf) this one red, or this one in red, or that one red. You would have to order it online."

    "But I need one tonight."

    Well that changes everything. Let me get the nanobots on that.
    Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

  • #2
    Do you sell red paint?

    Comment


    • #3
      I didn't know Milton was married...

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Sandman View Post
        I didn't know Milton was married...
        It took me a minute to get the reference.
        "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

        Comment


        • #5
          Do the red ones cook faster?
          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
            Do the red ones cook faster?
            Of course they do. Just like red cars are always faster than any other colour.
            Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
              Do the red ones cook faster?
              This phrase is a running joke with us in our re-enactment group. My partner and I have a red air pump for well, pumping up our beds. It's a rechargable one that does the job pretty well.

              We have lent it out to people before, stating that "it's red, so it goes faster." It actually has a lot of decent juice
              Last edited by LadyofArc; 10-08-2018, 06:16 AM.

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              • #8
                Quoth Marmalady View Post
                Just like red cars are always faster than any other colour.
                Even moreso if they have Go Faster stripes along the side.
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                • #9
                  Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
                  Do the red ones cook faster?

                  No, but they don't bind up as much.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth EricKei View Post
                    Even moreso if they have Go Faster stripes along the side.
                    Whelp, I know what I'm doing with my downtime.
                    Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Sandman View Post
                      I didn't know Milton was married...
                      I could set the building on fire...
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Sandman View Post
                        I didn't know Milton was married...
                        IIRC -- Swingline didn't actually make staplers in that color (the prop dept had to paint an existing stapler, I think) . . . until after the movie came out, and they were deluged with requests to do so . . . and so they did ^_^
                        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          My brother used to say that brand new red cars came with a traffic ticket already under the windshield wipers, because red cars never get away with anything
                          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                          • #14
                            Someone I know online recently bought a red sports car (he previously had something less obvious, I believe). He noted that people around him promptly began driving more obnoxiously (e.g. cutting him off and the like).
                            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Security guard at one of our customers had a buddy who returned the personalized plates for his red car to the state because he was getting much too much attention.


                              The plates? BEER30
                              I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                              Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                              Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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