Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

"That's a nice compliment"

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • "That's a nice compliment"

    I think she said that in the end because I appeared to blow her off. I just have a hard time accepting them. Few things embarrass me, but mention how I look, even in a positive manner, and I get uncomfortable. I guess it's because I grew up feeling I was an ugly duckling instead of a swan. Anyway, she complimented my eyes, and though I said thank you right away, due to my discomfort I pawned their color off on the lighting. Ak-ward. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings. ugh
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

  • #2
    Some things are a little too personal to hear from strangers. If someone said they liked my hair, I would feel complimented. If they said something like, "you have pretty eyes" it would feel weird for some reason. Not sure why that is.

    Of course it depends on whether it's a man or a woman offering the compliment. If it's a guy, I don't know if he's flirting. Seriously, I have no clue about this most of the time, and it makes me uncomfortable.
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth MoonCat View Post
      Some things are a little too personal to hear from strangers. If someone said they liked my hair, I would feel complimented. If they said something like, "you have pretty eyes" it would feel weird for some reason. Not sure why that is.
      I think it matters whether you have any control over the thing you are being complimented on. Hair, clothes, makeup, or anything you've selected or put effort into? That's fine. It is a compliment to your taste or skill.

      But complimenting someone's features? That's intimate. That speaks to a level of scrutiny that makes many people uncomfortable. A compliment about your eyes or ears or skin is not only something that you can't honestly take credit for, being a matter of genetics, or perhaps the skill of a plastic surgeon in some cases. But a compliment on one's physical features comes with an implied level of desire. Much like the "who does your hair?" question implies the desire of the asker to have their own hair to be done by the hairdresser. The compliment "You have the most beautiful eyes." implies a desire upon the person giving it to arrange an interlude where they might spend some more time gazing into them, perhaps under more intimate circumstances.

      Most folks understand either consciously or unconsciously that accepting a compliment to their body is a step in the process to having to reject some kind of advance; being asked on a date or worse. And that rejecting the compliment, however awkward, can actually be LESS uncomfortable than deflecting the romantic attentions of a person who you may not even have been properly introduced to or have anything in common with.

      Short answer: Unless the social situation is one where being picked up is expected, it doesn't really lead anywhere good.

      Possible exception: "Really like your peaches, want to shake your tree" is an example of a line that is both clever and overt enough to let the receiver know that the pickup is understood, and thus the rejection or acceptance of the compliment can be the implied portion of the exchange, while dealing with the proposal on more obvious level.

      Comment

      Working...
      X