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I don't know what's going on around here lately, presumably the recent winter storm here in New England delivered a boatload of stupid along with a moderate amount of snow.
Dumbass the First
A three-fer, really, since I've now dealt with what I assume is the same low riding red soft top convertible with a janky muffler three evenings in a row. As you know, low riding soft tops are perfect vehicles for winter in New England. Said no one with a lick of sense, ever.
Anyway, three nights in a row, where it is now past sun down at 5:00 PM even when there are no clouds, I have left work and headed home. Three nights in a row, I've been coming up a gentle grade when the car coming the other way blasts me with high beams. Dude leaves them on, not just flashes them in a polite 'turn your's down please' signal.
I have standard yellow-ish low beams on my SUV. But, I have super bright daylight-type xenon high beams. Dude turns his off as soon as I blast my own high beams. And I manage to get a good look (& listen re: janky muffler) as the dude goes by each night.
Look, dumbass, I get that my lights look bright to you as low beams. Here's your clue by four: At the angle caused by you coming over the rise, as I come up the grade, my low beams are pointed at your low-ass sports car in a way that makes them look super bright. It's not because I am purposely blinding you, it is simply the way the angles of the physical positions line up. Happens all the time to me with vehicles coming the other way. And most people who have acquired driver's licenses know this. Even if you were confused the first time around, by the third time you should be maybe figuring out your judgment is off. But no, you are a special breed who appears unable to cogitate the solution to your simple problem. I dub thee Dumbass.
As an aside - if you continue driving that vehicle through the next few snowstorms, you're likely to get a new moniker from the local tow truck drivers. I'm thinking 'Guess who's stuck in a snowbank again' or 'Cash cow'.
Dumbass the Second
On the way home last night, I observed that the vehicle in front of me had a tail light out. I wasn't going to do anything about it, but we both turned into the same gas station for fuel, and since the guy was at the pump right in front of me, I figured I would point it out.
Me: Pardon me, I just wanted to let you know your driver's side tail light is out.
Dumbass the Second (henceforth D2): Oh, yeah? How about you just shut the f*** up and mind your business, s***head.
Me: Okay, then, I won't bother trying to save you from getting a ticket. Have a nice life!
D2: I said shut the f*** up! Mind your own f***ing business! If you call the cops on me, I will f***ing f*** you up!
Me, thinking to myself: Wow. I poked the crazy bear with a logic stick.
I then proceed to start pumping gas into my car as D2 is doing the same.
D2: I SAID SHUT THE F*** UP! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? ANSWER ME!!!
Me: I'm putting gas in my car, and I didn't say anything more, dude, I did shut up and leave you alone. What's your damage?
D2: NO, YOU LEAVE! I'M GETTING GAS! YOU NEED TO GO!
Me: Soon as my tank is full, I'm gone. Chill out.
D2: FINE, I'LL CALL THE COPS AND HAVE YOU ARRESTED! LEAVE ME ALONE AND SHUT UP!
Since my tank is almost full, I just shake my head and ignore him.
D2: I SAID SHUT UP! DID YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!!! F*** YOU! *drops gas pump nozzle on the ground, hops into his car, and takes off*
You'll note, he didn't hang up the nozzle, so yay, free gas if anyone wants it. Also, he neglected to shut his gas tank door and his gas cap went flying off his roof somewhere into the darkness along the side of the road. He sure showed me.
I dub thee Dumbass the Second, who insists people shut up and answer you. Because that's not contradictory at all. Well played, Sir Moron, well played.
I am perhaps too nice, because I did hang up his gas nozzle before I left.
Dumbass the Third
On the way home tonight, in addition to round 3 with Dumbass the First, I encountered Dumbass the Third. D3 came roaring up behind me when I was doing 35 mph in a 35 mph zone. I'm so rude, right?
The speed limit ahead shifts up to 55, as soon as the sign comes into view, D3 is so close on my tail that I can no longer see his headlights or grill in my rearview mirror. That's too close for 35, let alone when we speed up to 55. I'm sure he wanted to pass, but the oncoming line of traffic took up the whole passing zone as I sped up into the new speed zone.
D3 was not to be deterred, and made an illegal pass over the double yellow as we come around a bend, at 55 MPH. Nothing could go wrong here! Well, it could, but fortunately did not. D3 speeds off down the road much faster than 55! Sadly, this isn't even the first time I've seen this kind of stupidity on this same stretch of road. A month or so ago, it involved 2 people getting airlifted after they were cut out of the wreckage. Only 1 survived the night.
So, D3 sped off into the night. Not too far, though, because there was only about 500 feet of space between me and the line of cars ahead of me. And that distance was closing at 55 mph, let alone at D3's pace. After a mile or so, I've caught up to D3, who is now tailgating the next car in front of him just as badly as he was tailgating me. Good to know it wasn't personal, I guess? Just stupidly dangerous when it doesn't have to be.
We continue in this vein because there are no more passing zones, no one changes position, and D3 is stuck just in front of me instead of just behind. Good thing he passed dangerously or he would be seconds, like multiple seconds of time, behind where he is now! Perish the thought.
Four miles after the illegal passing maneuver, D3 has to stop for a red light. I pull past, into my protected left turn lane, which has a green light, leaving D3 exactly where he would have been if he had just backed off and driven in a relatively saner and safer manner.
I dub thee Dumbass the Third, because just a few car lengths of headway is totally worth risking your own life and the lives of everyone around you! You truly are that important, am I right?
Seriously, what the f*** is wrong with these people?
Dumbass the First
A three-fer, really, since I've now dealt with what I assume is the same low riding red soft top convertible with a janky muffler three evenings in a row. As you know, low riding soft tops are perfect vehicles for winter in New England. Said no one with a lick of sense, ever.
Anyway, three nights in a row, where it is now past sun down at 5:00 PM even when there are no clouds, I have left work and headed home. Three nights in a row, I've been coming up a gentle grade when the car coming the other way blasts me with high beams. Dude leaves them on, not just flashes them in a polite 'turn your's down please' signal.
I have standard yellow-ish low beams on my SUV. But, I have super bright daylight-type xenon high beams. Dude turns his off as soon as I blast my own high beams. And I manage to get a good look (& listen re: janky muffler) as the dude goes by each night.
Look, dumbass, I get that my lights look bright to you as low beams. Here's your clue by four: At the angle caused by you coming over the rise, as I come up the grade, my low beams are pointed at your low-ass sports car in a way that makes them look super bright. It's not because I am purposely blinding you, it is simply the way the angles of the physical positions line up. Happens all the time to me with vehicles coming the other way. And most people who have acquired driver's licenses know this. Even if you were confused the first time around, by the third time you should be maybe figuring out your judgment is off. But no, you are a special breed who appears unable to cogitate the solution to your simple problem. I dub thee Dumbass.
As an aside - if you continue driving that vehicle through the next few snowstorms, you're likely to get a new moniker from the local tow truck drivers. I'm thinking 'Guess who's stuck in a snowbank again' or 'Cash cow'.
Dumbass the Second
On the way home last night, I observed that the vehicle in front of me had a tail light out. I wasn't going to do anything about it, but we both turned into the same gas station for fuel, and since the guy was at the pump right in front of me, I figured I would point it out.
Me: Pardon me, I just wanted to let you know your driver's side tail light is out.
Dumbass the Second (henceforth D2): Oh, yeah? How about you just shut the f*** up and mind your business, s***head.
Me: Okay, then, I won't bother trying to save you from getting a ticket. Have a nice life!
D2: I said shut the f*** up! Mind your own f***ing business! If you call the cops on me, I will f***ing f*** you up!
Me, thinking to myself: Wow. I poked the crazy bear with a logic stick.
I then proceed to start pumping gas into my car as D2 is doing the same.
D2: I SAID SHUT THE F*** UP! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? ANSWER ME!!!
Me: I'm putting gas in my car, and I didn't say anything more, dude, I did shut up and leave you alone. What's your damage?
D2: NO, YOU LEAVE! I'M GETTING GAS! YOU NEED TO GO!
Me: Soon as my tank is full, I'm gone. Chill out.
D2: FINE, I'LL CALL THE COPS AND HAVE YOU ARRESTED! LEAVE ME ALONE AND SHUT UP!
Since my tank is almost full, I just shake my head and ignore him.
D2: I SAID SHUT UP! DID YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!!! F*** YOU! *drops gas pump nozzle on the ground, hops into his car, and takes off*
You'll note, he didn't hang up the nozzle, so yay, free gas if anyone wants it. Also, he neglected to shut his gas tank door and his gas cap went flying off his roof somewhere into the darkness along the side of the road. He sure showed me.
I dub thee Dumbass the Second, who insists people shut up and answer you. Because that's not contradictory at all. Well played, Sir Moron, well played.
I am perhaps too nice, because I did hang up his gas nozzle before I left.
Dumbass the Third
On the way home tonight, in addition to round 3 with Dumbass the First, I encountered Dumbass the Third. D3 came roaring up behind me when I was doing 35 mph in a 35 mph zone. I'm so rude, right?
The speed limit ahead shifts up to 55, as soon as the sign comes into view, D3 is so close on my tail that I can no longer see his headlights or grill in my rearview mirror. That's too close for 35, let alone when we speed up to 55. I'm sure he wanted to pass, but the oncoming line of traffic took up the whole passing zone as I sped up into the new speed zone.
D3 was not to be deterred, and made an illegal pass over the double yellow as we come around a bend, at 55 MPH. Nothing could go wrong here! Well, it could, but fortunately did not. D3 speeds off down the road much faster than 55! Sadly, this isn't even the first time I've seen this kind of stupidity on this same stretch of road. A month or so ago, it involved 2 people getting airlifted after they were cut out of the wreckage. Only 1 survived the night.
So, D3 sped off into the night. Not too far, though, because there was only about 500 feet of space between me and the line of cars ahead of me. And that distance was closing at 55 mph, let alone at D3's pace. After a mile or so, I've caught up to D3, who is now tailgating the next car in front of him just as badly as he was tailgating me. Good to know it wasn't personal, I guess? Just stupidly dangerous when it doesn't have to be.
We continue in this vein because there are no more passing zones, no one changes position, and D3 is stuck just in front of me instead of just behind. Good thing he passed dangerously or he would be seconds, like multiple seconds of time, behind where he is now! Perish the thought.
Four miles after the illegal passing maneuver, D3 has to stop for a red light. I pull past, into my protected left turn lane, which has a green light, leaving D3 exactly where he would have been if he had just backed off and driven in a relatively saner and safer manner.
I dub thee Dumbass the Third, because just a few car lengths of headway is totally worth risking your own life and the lives of everyone around you! You truly are that important, am I right?
Seriously, what the f*** is wrong with these people?
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