I'm currently working in customer complaints..... I know, I'm not entirely sure how I ended up there either.
My fish, my only love....
Like most large companies we have a system to log all complaints. This means that I can see the complaints that come in from other departments.
Looking through past complaints is useful for picking up tricks for handling current problems. However, it also makes me very grateful I don't work in complaints for claims.
Case in point:
A women wished to complain about the amount of money she had received for a claim on her home insurance.
Her son had knocked a shelf and a number of jars etc had fallen off. This meant the carpet needed professional cleaning and a hi-fi needed replacing. However, amongst the jars was the tank containing the family goldfish who also met an unfortunate demise in the accident.
This is what insurance is for of course and the company quickly paid out to get a company round to clean the carpet and fix the damaged carpet and we replaced the hi-fi. However, the sc had called in many times to complain that we weren't offering compensation for the fish.
Now, I can understand that loosing a pet is traumatic. However, I think the amount of compensation she wanted may have been a trifle high. I'm sorry but NO goldfish is worth £2,500. And my actual career aim is to a be a fish scientist!
I really feel for the people who had to deal with this women. Her file is full of "the policyholder was very irate".
Apparently I'm a typing pool
I'm sure many people have had the phrase "and if you don't then I'm going to the papers" yelled at them. Unfortunately for the 'little people', large insurance conglomerates have very fancy PR departments to handle these stories. Unless it is a MASSIVE problem they are not going to care about a tiny story about your ew complaint. They won't even notice it.
But since when did reality ever intrude on these people?
The complaint itself is very tedious and uninteresting. However, the sc obviously felt it was newsworthy and sent it to his (very) local rag. To give you an idea of how small a paper this is I had trouble finding the town it represents on google, let alone the paper. Obviously bored of writing about cats stuck up trees the paper actually published it.
Of course, this now vindicates the complaint.
The sc called me to check on the complaint:
SC: "and I have written to ######## and they have run the story."
Me: "I'll make sure our media department are aware" (not a chance in hell. By now I'm wondering when the compensation demand is coming)
SC: "the journalist is a close personal friend of mine. I definately deserve compensation for this." (Bingo)
Me: "Unfortunately sir the complaints manager has reviewed the phone call in question and determined that we were not at fault. You clearly stated that your house was occupied when it was not."
SC: "that is unacceptable. Do you want more bad publicity. My friend has already said he'll publish another story if you don't fix this."
Me: "he can do whatever he likes. I'm sure if he contacts our media office they will give him a response." (my patience is running thin now.)
SC: "I don't think you care, do you" (ladies and gentleman, we have a winner)
Me: "We take all complaints very seriously. However, we have looked at the report from the loss adjuster and the windows were broken for at least a fortnight before you reported it. Other people also confirmed the property was not occupied." (PWND)
SC: "that shouldn't make a difference."
Me: "I'm afraid it does." (That's why it's called home insurance, not unoccupied property cover you idiot)
SC: "Well I bet you don't want another story written" (words can not describe how little I give a toss about your bloody story)
Me: "that is up to your friend not me. I can confirm that if you are unhappy with the outcome to your complaint then you can go to the execs office or the Financial Services Ombudsman" (who also will tell him to piss off)
SC: This is what you are risking by not giving me compensation:
He then proceeded to read to me the entire ***** story! It was long. It was very long. It took him 25 minutes. I can see why the 'journalist' isn't working for a major newspaper.
SC: "So are you going to risk another story like that." (very self satisfied. Forget a cat that got the cream, this is more like a cat that just inherited an entire dairy farm!)
Me: "we are not going to change our decision. I will raise this to the chief executives office and they will get back to you within 5 working days."
SC: "They'd better. Tell them my friend will want to interview them about this appalling service" SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN
Somehow I don't think that the cheif executive, who earn more money in a week than I have since uni, is going to give this 'journalist' the time of day.
Only a month left on the contract
My fish, my only love....
Like most large companies we have a system to log all complaints. This means that I can see the complaints that come in from other departments.
Looking through past complaints is useful for picking up tricks for handling current problems. However, it also makes me very grateful I don't work in complaints for claims.
Case in point:
A women wished to complain about the amount of money she had received for a claim on her home insurance.
Her son had knocked a shelf and a number of jars etc had fallen off. This meant the carpet needed professional cleaning and a hi-fi needed replacing. However, amongst the jars was the tank containing the family goldfish who also met an unfortunate demise in the accident.
This is what insurance is for of course and the company quickly paid out to get a company round to clean the carpet and fix the damaged carpet and we replaced the hi-fi. However, the sc had called in many times to complain that we weren't offering compensation for the fish.
Now, I can understand that loosing a pet is traumatic. However, I think the amount of compensation she wanted may have been a trifle high. I'm sorry but NO goldfish is worth £2,500. And my actual career aim is to a be a fish scientist!
I really feel for the people who had to deal with this women. Her file is full of "the policyholder was very irate".
Apparently I'm a typing pool
I'm sure many people have had the phrase "and if you don't then I'm going to the papers" yelled at them. Unfortunately for the 'little people', large insurance conglomerates have very fancy PR departments to handle these stories. Unless it is a MASSIVE problem they are not going to care about a tiny story about your ew complaint. They won't even notice it.
But since when did reality ever intrude on these people?
The complaint itself is very tedious and uninteresting. However, the sc obviously felt it was newsworthy and sent it to his (very) local rag. To give you an idea of how small a paper this is I had trouble finding the town it represents on google, let alone the paper. Obviously bored of writing about cats stuck up trees the paper actually published it.
Of course, this now vindicates the complaint.
The sc called me to check on the complaint:
SC: "and I have written to ######## and they have run the story."
Me: "I'll make sure our media department are aware" (not a chance in hell. By now I'm wondering when the compensation demand is coming)
SC: "the journalist is a close personal friend of mine. I definately deserve compensation for this." (Bingo)
Me: "Unfortunately sir the complaints manager has reviewed the phone call in question and determined that we were not at fault. You clearly stated that your house was occupied when it was not."
SC: "that is unacceptable. Do you want more bad publicity. My friend has already said he'll publish another story if you don't fix this."
Me: "he can do whatever he likes. I'm sure if he contacts our media office they will give him a response." (my patience is running thin now.)
SC: "I don't think you care, do you" (ladies and gentleman, we have a winner)
Me: "We take all complaints very seriously. However, we have looked at the report from the loss adjuster and the windows were broken for at least a fortnight before you reported it. Other people also confirmed the property was not occupied." (PWND)
SC: "that shouldn't make a difference."
Me: "I'm afraid it does." (That's why it's called home insurance, not unoccupied property cover you idiot)
SC: "Well I bet you don't want another story written" (words can not describe how little I give a toss about your bloody story)
Me: "that is up to your friend not me. I can confirm that if you are unhappy with the outcome to your complaint then you can go to the execs office or the Financial Services Ombudsman" (who also will tell him to piss off)
SC: This is what you are risking by not giving me compensation:
He then proceeded to read to me the entire ***** story! It was long. It was very long. It took him 25 minutes. I can see why the 'journalist' isn't working for a major newspaper.
SC: "So are you going to risk another story like that." (very self satisfied. Forget a cat that got the cream, this is more like a cat that just inherited an entire dairy farm!)
Me: "we are not going to change our decision. I will raise this to the chief executives office and they will get back to you within 5 working days."
SC: "They'd better. Tell them my friend will want to interview them about this appalling service" SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN
Somehow I don't think that the cheif executive, who earn more money in a week than I have since uni, is going to give this 'journalist' the time of day.
Only a month left on the contract
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