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Groan time
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Old 09-15-2014, 10:37 AM
wolfie wolfie is offline
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Default Groan time

I was browsing at a local bookstore when another customer had a medical emergency (trouble breathing, jabbed himself with an EpiPen). After the paramedics had taken him away, I picked up the Dilbert book he had dropped (I'm a Dilbert fan, and it was one I hadn't seen before), and noticed that something wasn't right about the cartoons.

Instead of carrying a coffee cup, Wally had a blanket over his shoulder and was sucking his thumb. One strip showed Dilbert about to kick a football, but Catbert pulled it away and he wound up flat on his back.

Checking the back cover, I saw the following: "Allergy alert - may contain traces of Peanuts".
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Old 09-15-2014, 01:47 PM
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Well Done!!


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Old 09-15-2014, 10:22 PM
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Is it a bad sign that I can see those comics in my head?

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Old 09-16-2014, 02:27 AM
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Growin' time? Turn it over to the Planter's.
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Old 01-05-2015, 03:13 PM
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The air in Middle Earth was getting polluted, and the authorities decided to get to work on cleaning it up. Their first act? Require annual Smaug checks on all dragons.
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Old 02-15-2015, 08:44 PM
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The new principal at an elementary school decided to start out by seeing how things were going in various classes. He walked into one classroom, and asked the teacher what she was teaching the class.

"I'm teaching them punctuation" was her answer.

The principal wasn't impressed. "There's no need to do that, punctuation is just a waste of time."

The teacher called on one of her students "Johnny, write on the board The principal says the teacher is wasting everyone's time". Johnny writes it. "Now put a comma after 'principal' and another after 'teacher'".
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Old 02-17-2015, 06:48 AM
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Why is it that cowboys think Dachshunds make good pets? After all, it's practically a cliche in the "cattle drive" sub-genre of Western movies, where they're always saying "Get a long little doggie".
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:00 AM
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Murphy "popped the question" to Bridget on March 17th. She said yes, and her eyes bugged out when she saw the ring - the stone must have been at least 2 carats.

Being a cautious young lass, Bridget decided to get insurance for the ring, which required an appraisal. She was fuming when she heard the results - the stone wasn't a diamond, or even cubic zirconium - it was glass. She immediately confronted Murphy.

Murphy had the gift of the gab - so much, in fact, that some people said he must have used plenty of tongue when he kissed the Blarney Stone. His answer? "It's traditional to give a sham rock on St. Patrick's Day".
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