I asked you a simple f*****g question

[TNT]

I'm a lowly tech support guy, so I often find myself asking simple questions that, to me, can only be answered "yes" or "no." Maybe I've been in tech support too long and I've become binary...

Me: Do you have a router?
Caller: Well, we bought this computer a few years ago...

Me: Do you have a firewall?
Caller: When we first bought the computer...

Me: Is the "online" light on your modem blinking?
Caller: I was able to access the internet yesterday. Today I tried to log on and...

Me: Let's go back to the basics. If you can look at the back of your modem... is there anything plugged into the Ethernet port?
Caller: I was vacuuming the carpet the other day...
Me: WTF?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I'm sorry you had to deal with one of my ex b/f's . . .

He's always had a habit of answering a simple question beginning with something along the lines of "Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth . . ."

Myself, I have the patience of a gnat - just give the bleepin' answer already and be done with it.

[SnapAddict218]

Oh yes. I hate that. I've asked you a close ended question for a reason. No need to elaborate just yet-if I need further information I'll ask for it. For right now, give us just a yes or no. "I'm not sure" or "I don't know" would even be acceptable so long as you keep it at that.

Oh how I feel you pain.

[IlovemyGeek]

Gah, I hate that. When we get email submissions for tech support, we start off by sending a list of system specs we need. What OS, what browser, etc. 5/10 we get someone that emails back a bunch of nonsense that has NOTHING to do with what we asked. No I don't think your problem is because your cat had kittens. Yes, I will need your OS and browser info b/c I am not a mind reader.

[Jet]

I always enjoy "How are you doing today?" "No." Errr...did I miss something here?

[BravoOrig]

Well I hate having customers ask how I'm doing today. I'll be personable to a point, and I'm more than friendly, but really I want to resolve your problem and go back to surfing the net. I work at night specifically so I talk to less people, and answer emails from customers who can't talk back, immediately anyway.

As for TNT's post, I'm sick of getting more than a yes or no to those questions too. Or getting their best guess, even if its completely wrong. Do you have a router? "No" then 5 minutes later, so what the heck is that device your laptop connects to wirelessly. Don't waste my time and guess, if you're not sure, just say so and I'll ask more questions to determine that.

And I've said this before, just tell me it doesn't work and I'll help you fix it. I don't care if you were looking up porn, doing your college term paper, or your grandmas in the hospital with a nine inch nail in her hip. I don't care!