...and now it's official. My parents are now divorced.

[protege]

Yep, the last of the paperwork went through last Friday. Fr those of you following along at home, my dad walked out back in March of 2015. He spent the next 2 years trying to not only stress her out, but destroy her financially. Unfortunately, he's been somewhat successful--she's had to throw a lot of money on the "repairs" he'd made on the house, dealing with the home equity loan (which was used to educate his ass) which he could legally walk away from.

Then he came after her over the difference between their pensions. We're not talking chump change here--the total difference could have bought a new Cadillac. Sure, he was older. But his pension was less, mostly because he was either "between jobs" or unemployed during my childhood. Even though it was his fault he couldn't hold down a job, it became her problem. Keep in mind that my mom was not only working multiple jobs, but raising 3 kids as well as maintaining the house. While she's free of him, she can't even enjoy her retirement. She has to go back to work full-time. She's earned some time off

[Food Lady]

Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sure you do whatever you can to help but you can only do so much. Anything we can do for her? Maybe a gofundme for a spa day or one of her bills? I just feel like I want to do something for her but I don't know what.

[Blue Ginger]

Your poor mum sounds like she needs a hug, a big alcoholic drink and maybe a dinner to celebrate being free finally.

If she has a bad time trying to work or finding work, just remind her that any money she earns now is ALL hers and she doesn't have to share anymore. It will hopefully make her feel a bit better, especially in the first 6-12 months.

[Android Kaeli]

^I second this so much.

Its not going to be easy for your mother for a while, hopefully now that the divorce is all said and done things will get better.

[protege]

Your poor mum sounds like she needs a hug, a big alcoholic drink and maybe a dinner to celebrate being free finally.

Nearly every holiday has involved a lot of dinner, and several alcoholic drinks

If she has a bad time trying to work or finding work, just remind her that any money she earns now is ALL hers and she doesn't have to share anymore.

I've been telling her that. But, as she turns 70 next year, it's difficult at times. She was a guest lecture at some of the local colleges and universities. But, because they're moving many of their nursing programs online, she's not really a fan of that. To her, there's no way to interact with her students, nor is there a good way to make sure that they know what they're supposed to. Mom is a bit "old school" (pun intended) that way.

I've also been doing what I can to help her, even to the point of working 7 days a week. I'll do what I have to at my place, and then walk down to hers to cut the grass, or clean out the garage. Tiring as hell, but there's no way I'm letting her pay someone to do the same job.

I too have thought about setting up a crowfunding or gofundme account, mostly to help with the bills. However, because I work for a brokerage, it could throw up some red flags with my company's compliance department. They aren't always willing to allow such things--I'd have to not only declare it, but I'd have to provide monthly statements about the account and where the cash is coming from.

[TheWolfEmperor]

Could you put the money from a crowdsourcing endeavor into a separate account, so there would be a clear chain of activity between GoFundMe and the bank account you're using to raise money?

You could set it up so that people can't donate anonymously, thus attaching a name and a face to each donation and the bank records would clearly show where the money was coming from and where it was going.

[Pixelated]

Nearly every holiday has involved a lot of dinner, and several alcoholic drinks

I've been telling her that. But, as she turns 70 next year, it's difficult at times. She was a guest lecture at some of the local colleges and universities. But, because they're moving many of their nursing programs online, she's not really a fan of that. To her, there's no way to interact with her students, nor is there a good way to make sure that they know what they're supposed to. Mom is a bit "old school" (pun intended) that way.

I've also been doing what I can to help her, even to the point of working 7 days a week. I'll do what I have to at my place, and then walk down to hers to cut the grass, or clean out the garage. Tiring as hell, but there's no way I'm letting her pay someone to do the same job.

I too have thought about setting up a crowfunding or gofundme account, mostly to help with the bills. However, because I work for a brokerage, it could throw up some red flags with my company's compliance department. They aren't always willing to allow such things--I'd have to not only declare it, but I'd have to provide monthly statements about the account and where the cash is coming from.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation, both for your sake and your mom's. As a 60+ person, I know how hard it can be to find work at this age.

My mom initially opted not to go for divorce because "Why should I lose out on everything??" By which she meant everything financial, of course. Towards the end, they had indeed started divorce proceedings ... then Dad's lifelong heavy smoking caught up with him. Turned out Mom might have been sensible in not divorcing him earlier: he had a gold-plated insurance plan from the last place he'd worked for (part of the benefits they got when the place shut down) and it paid 75% of her private room at the nursing home for five years ...

About the gofundme page, would it be wise to perhaps discuss it with your employer? You could explain exactly why you are doing it and what you hope to achieve and see what they have to say. Of course, if they flat-out say "No way" ... you are left with no wiggle room at all. But perhaps they might say "Yes, with these conditions ..." and at least you could make a start.