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A SpEcIaL Covidiot

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  • A SpEcIaL Covidiot

    So we have our hand sanitizer in spare spray bottles because people are idiots and kept spraying themselves with chemical cleaner instead (“but it’s stronger so it has to be better!” Was my favourite. Well so is fire but you wouldn’t use it to do your laundry now would you?) no matter what we tried to do to convince them (and they knew it was bleach dilute and not just confusing it with sanitizer either).

    So, SC decides her mask has a not so fresh feeling and instead of putting it in the laundry when she got home like a normal person, decided to spray herself in the face with hand sanitizer to clean her mask instead.

    Cue eyes burning because of course she wouldn’t have even closed her eyes. Just points spray bottle at face and pulls trigger.

    Now as our hand sanitizer smells like bottom shelf off brand gin I can’t imagine how she thought it would make her mask smell any better.

    What makes this Covidiot a sucky customer is how she then decides she’s going to sue us all for daring to have hand sanitizer! And because we didn’t have a sign saying don’t spray into face holes you idiot (despite the side of bottle giving all the required warnings and funny symbols used to describe why it’s a bad idea to mess with chemicals. Like the flammable symbol for ya know, alcohol. The ☠️ symbol for don’t drink that kind of alcohol. The big capital letters that say keep away from orifices and eyeballs. All of which are required to be there by law because it’s not in its original container that it was shipped to us in.

    Yep, she sprayed herself in the face and decided that she was going to sue the company and the staff and the customers who didn’t think to warn her that alcohol and eyeballs are a bad combination as anyone who has ever woken up to a hangover in a bright room could tell you (here’s a hint. It’s a quick way to remember how you regret your life choices). Medical attention and paramedics(protocol in any chemical instance) were called and declared her eyeballs would be fine in time but she was suffering from a terminal case of stupid. When even the paramedics have never heard of someone trying that you know you’re in a class all your own.

    Then when everyone wasn’t taking her seriously enough on her threats to sue all our asses she decided to go on a tear through the store pulling things off displays, throwing pop from the cooler about, wrecking things all because we really didn’t care about the impending lawsuit and ya know the fact she wasn’t the only person in the world, maybe other shit needed to be done, maybe the situation had been in hand and thus there was no need for dozens of workers who weren’t legally allowed to do anything anyway to stand there doing nothing.

    Cops were called, happened to be across the plaza getting their caffeine fix, so for once were able to respond quickly (most calls are nuisance calls, drunk/drugs, so low priority)
    Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

  • #2
    It's a wonder this person has gotten so far into life already without at least getting a Darwin Awards Honorable Mention

    Comment


    • #3
      Same kind of people that killed good plastic gas cans.
      https://www.overlawyered.com/2012/07...-manufacturer/
      AkaiKitsune
      Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Arcus View Post
        It's a wonder this person has gotten so far into life already without at least getting a Darwin Awards Honorable Mention
        With any luck she'll get an actual Darwin Award in the near future ...

        I had one guy grab for my disinfectant spray. Cue me screaming: "SIR! DON'T USE THAT!!"

        I grabbed a bottle of actual hand sanitizer and offered some of that to him instead. He held out his hand, a bit abashed, thanked me and left.
        Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
        ~ Mr Hero

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        • #5
          Sanitizers are themselves toxic if ingested. People don't think about the chemical residue left behind after using them. The alcohol dries, but the other stuff doesn't.

          But yeah, the stronger stuff is also more toxic. And spraying yourself in the face? Humans just aren't worth saving.
          Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
            Then when everyone wasn’t taking her seriously enough on her threats to sue all our asses she decided to go on a tear through the store pulling things off displays, throwing pop from the cooler about, wrecking things all because we really didn’t care about the impending lawsuit and ya know the fact she wasn’t the only person in the world, maybe other shit needed
            Please tell me someone recorded that. I'll be looking for the video on YouTube.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Kristev View Post
              Sanitizers are themselves toxic if ingested. People don't think about the chemical residue left behind after using them. The alcohol dries, but the other stuff doesn't.
              I have my own special bottle of hand sanitizer that I carry because of the risk of using methanol sanitizer. The results of rubbing/drinking methanol are not great.

              But...yanno how you start to think about weird things when things are sideways since forever?

              What happens to the dead germ bodies after I use sanitizer? Where do the bodies go unless I rinse them off with water? Do I leave a trail of inert germ bodies all over my car because I always sanitize my hands before touching my keys. If I put lotion on my recently sanitized hands, am I now rubbing germ bodies all over?

              Is it possible that I might need to stop thinking about this?

              Comment


              • #8
                I don't know if you need to stop thinking about it, but reading it is making me like you even more.
                "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Slave to the Phone View Post
                  Is it possible that I might need to stop thinking about this?
                  If it's stressing you out...Mayyyybe put the thought to the side for now

                  Having your own private bottle of the stuff is actually a really good idea, though!




                  *note to self: resist the urge to clarify exactly what dust is*
                  "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                  "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                  "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                  "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                  "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                  "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                  Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                  "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth EricKei View Post
                    ... *note to self: resist the urge to clarify exactly what dust is*
                    ... or half the mass of that favorite old pillow ...
                    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Slave to the Phone View Post
                      ...
                      But...yanno how you start to think about weird things when things are sideways since forever?

                      What happens to the dead germ bodies after I use sanitizer? Where do the bodies go unless I rinse them off with water? Do I leave a trail of inert germ bodies all over my car because I always sanitize my hands before touching my keys. If I put lotion on my recently sanitized hands, am I now rubbing germ bodies all over?

                      Is it possible that I might need to stop thinking about this?
                      The dead germs build up a barrier that the live germs can't get through, thus providing more protection for you.

                      The above is a certified true fact that I just made up.
                      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        We're humans. The element of earth is all around us, including the bacteria that comes with it. It's impossible (and turned out to be unwise) to defend against all of it. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't rinse our hands off with water after we use sanitizer, or Wet Ones for that matter. I love my Wet Ones. Back when I was homeless, I discovered what a miracle those little things were. Everyone thought I was batty for carrying them around, up until Covid hit. But, being antibacterial, it's still wise to rinse the hands off after using them.
                        Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Aren't we something like 16% by weight foreign cells? Like bacteria, parasites, and so on?
                          “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                          One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                          The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                            The dead germs build up a barrier that the live germs can't get through, thus providing more protection for you.

                            The above is a certified true fact that I just made up.
                            YES!!! PERFECT!!! Made up facts are awesome, and I believe that this is true because I don't wash my car so the the layer of built up dirt will deflect chips and scratches!

                            Seriously, I live with an old man and 3 cats. I hug and kiss the grands all the while knowing that they are disease-ridden plague-monkeys. (Or I used to, that's gone away as well, fucking COVID)

                            I totally get all of that stuff.

                            I still wonder what happens with the dead germ bodies. Excuse me, I might need to sanitize my keyboard now.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              The morning the store opened up again, Boss said he 'killed any virus on his coffee cup' by running it through the microwave for a minute.
                              1) Viruses aren't alive in the same sense that we are
                              2) running a microwave without food in it will ruin it
                              3) He has a special coffee cup that no one else uses, easily identifiable by a grandchild's artwork printed on it.

                              As for picking up a random spray bottle at a store and spritzing it into one's own face: there really are no words. She's lucky there was no permanent damage.

                              AS I understand it, regular soap and water dissolve the protein surface of a virus, rendering it harmless. I'm washing my hands, but avoiding alcohol based sanitizers unless there's no soap and water around. I'm old, and drying up pretty fast as it is.

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