Wish Corruption! (Game thread)

[NightWatch]

Well Jesus was on his way to tell you that little secret, but Judas found out and was all super jealous and the bastard had him hung on a cross. So now you'll never know.

I wish I had a really tasty sammich!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! It tastes like feet.

I wish I knew what to do with myself right now.

[NightWatch]

You do! You've picked up knitting. Unfortunately you suck at it and have managed to knit your hands and feet together and there is no one who can help you get untangled. You'll lie there for hours.

I wish I could punch a certain co-worker in the face.

[Lace Neil Singer]

You do, but he/she gets you done for assault. XD

I wish it would bloody well stop raining.

[dalesys]

GRANTED: It's now 2"/5cm hail...

And you're now Cosby's caveman: Ow! Ow! Ow! Hard Rain!

I wish my kids would help me retire.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now you're retired in a rest home surrounded by nurses and the smell of stale pee and antiseptic.

I wish I had something sweet right now . . .

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Congratulations! Here's Sweet Cheeks the hairy, 500-pound drag queen to keep you company.

I wish I didn't have a headache.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. Now you have an ache someplace..uh..lower.

I wish I had a hammer.

[dalesys]

Granted. You are now Joan Henry, steel-drivin' woman.

I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free

[McGoddess09]

Granted! But being free sucks, so you go back to being not free!

I wish that tomorrow would get here.

[NightWatch]

Tomorrow is arrived, and he is pissed that he had to show up early and kicks your @$$.

I wish I knew why all my friends (who are all 20 to 23) are getting married.

[Lace Neil Singer]

You find out why; it's cuz they hate you and are plotting your demise. O_o

I wish for a mountain of handkerchiefs.

(Lamest wish ever, so don't know how you're going to make it lamer. Sonic reference, for those who don't get it. XD)

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. It's the size of Everest and it is piled directly on top of you.

I wish I had a life.

[NightWatch]

You find out why; it's cuz they hate you and are plotting your demise. O_o

That was what I thought. You! Out of my head!!

[Ironclad Alibi]

That was what I thought. You! Out of my head!!

That is not a wish. You're stuck with them in your head.

I wish I had a life.

Granted. You will be the guest on the next episode of "This Is Your Life."

I wish for a cold beer.