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  • But It Should Fit!

    Ugh... I've never felt like this. I've lost sleep over a customer interaction before, but this one takes the cake. I stumbled on this site while trying to just... find a place to vent. I hope this is the right venue. I've got a list of them, will probably share them over the coming weeks.... who knows, maybe some-one will find them funny. I just had to get this one out so I can try and get some rest.

    I've done costuming for years. I've done chainmaille, I've done leather working, I've done prop construction and I'm a trained blacksmith. I've done painting and carpentry and theater design and ... well, I've got a BFA so I pretty much take any job that will pay the bills.

    Over the years, I've had people come up with some whoppers. So many stories... but this one... this one just has had me gritting my jaw at the sheer absurd idiocy of some people.

    I was making a dress for a woman- a Victorian era ball gown. We're talking whole nine yards; cinch corset with bead work and lace, pleated hoop skirt with bustle, bloomers, puffy-sleeved blouse with a coat covered in even more lace, bead-work and embroidery. Bottom line- her bill was topping $5,000 for this dress. Everything was hand done and frankly, I should have charged her much more. It was one of those things where the customer kept talking up the project. Had I known she'd do this to me, I'd have tripled or quadrupled my asking price. Anything to deter what was to come.

    The customer was a 31 year old girl, 5'2" and petite as can be. When I measured her, her measurements are.. well, A-cup at best. And her hips were wider than her shoulders by over 10 inches. I try not to judge as I'm built like a Buffalo myself, but this woman was built like a sawhorse. A tiny sawhorse... the kind you put in a doll house.

    To top it all off, her attitude is terrible. I'm male. But I'm a tailor. I make things custom and I do my best to do it right. The whole time I'm working with her, it's a constant barrage of innuendo, suggestive comments and things that if my wife was there, there would have been a confrontation that would have made Jerry Springer question his approach to daytime TV. I felt dirty when she left and asked my wife to attend when this girl came back in for her sloper fitting (A sloper is a general form-fitting pattern. A good professional makes a muslin version of a garment before doing the final one to make sure it fits well and we don't waste expensive fabric).

    When this girl came back in for the sloper fitting a week later, it was okay other than needing to be let out another half inch in the hips. It happens.

    I've been struggling to try and figure out how to phrase this next bit. This was 4 weeks ago. She comes in for the dress 3 days ago and... well.... she's now easily a Double D cup. Party Balloon grade Double D Cup. And her hips are proportional. And her thighs are sculpted. There is no other way to put it beyond she went from "Meh" to "Whoa..." Even her lips looked a bit fuller.

    This woman was not the same woman I measured for the dress which I just spent the last month working on. There is no biological way her hips could get smaller, her breasts get that much bigger and "perkier" without plastic surgery. Just... there is no physical way. Pregnancy? No, her hips would get bigger as would her abdomen. Diet and exercise? No way it 'phase shifted' from her hips to her chest so vivaciously. We're talking a 10 inch difference over the course of a month.

    So my wife and I stare at this woman as she holds up this dress that.... there is no way she is getting into. I start to explain that we'd have to re-do everything and that she'll have to commission another one.

    "Another one? But can't you just fix this one?!"

    Bead work, lace work, embroidery and... well, her entire figure had changed. There was no way this garment could be altered without being ridiculously obvious it had been altered. We could get creative, but there was just no way to be THAT creative without some-one calling Fudge Work. I explained this all as calmly as I could but the woman was getting more irate by the moment, yelling at me and insinuating that I'd measured "wrongly." That's the word she used. Wrongly.

    No... no way. I couldn't have measured THAT wrong. So I get the muslin version and... yeah, she wouldn't have fit into that one either. Chest was too tight, hips too loose, bustle hung low as it didn't have the ... well, gigantic shelf it previously was resting on. It wasn't my measurement that was awry.

    After about 45 minutes, I finally had no other thing to say and had to call it like it is.

    "Look, if you'd have told us you were going to have work done, we could have measured you after."

    "Oh my gawd! I didn't have work done! My body is just a little different!"

    A little different is like saying Cheerios are different from Fruit Loops. This was like comparing Cheerios to a bowl of chili.

    So we went around and around until my wife finally declares "Look, you can commission another dress or else there is nothing we can do." She'd already paid 75% up front. we learned the hard way long ago never to start work without pay.

    "Well then I'm going to sue you! If you don't fix this dress, I'm going to sue you!"

    That is my button. The moment you bring courts and lawyers and judges into it, we're no longer friends. So I explain "Fine. If you take us to court, I'm going to show them the test fits, the muslin skirts, your measurements and everything. You'll have to swear under oath for threat of purgery you did not have plastic surgery and they are going to determine if you are telling the truth or not."

    The woman got so red and angry, I swear she was going to explode. But the women then growled "Fine! But I want this dress done fast! And if you tell anyone I had work done I'm... I'm.... I can't even right now!" She gave me her husband's credit card (he'd authorized it with us on a previous fitting) and then stormed out.

    I feel like I got hit by a freight train. I swear as I type this, I really do think I'm through with custom work and just... I think this is that defining moment where people in movies go "Okay! I'm going to be a super villain now! Bring me a death ray and a fluffy cat!" It is passed 3:30 am and... well, I guess I feel better getting it off my chest. But a huge chunk of my faith in humanity is gone.

  • #2
    She knew she was getting work done! She knew her figure would be radically different than before. Why the did she not wait until after the surgery to get the measurements, or at least tell you beforehand that she was planning to get work done?!

    The absolute stupidity of some people just floors me. This is why I have never and will never sew for anyone except myself and immediate family.
    Last edited by XCashier; 09-25-2014, 05:01 AM.
    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
    My LiveJournal
    A page we can all agree with!

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    • #3
      I . . . . I just have no words.

      This woman's picture should go in the dictionary next to "Entitlement Whore."

      The worst part is you have a dress that you can't turn around and sell to someone else. At least not easily.

      I can see why you feel the way you do. Sometimes I've had patients or students who've made me feel that way.

      So try this: think of the really cool costumes you've made and the happiest customers you've ever had. Because it sounds like you do a real craft, something to be proud of. You CREATE. How many people can do what you do? Not that many.

      You have a gift. Don't let this bitch drive you away from it angry.
      They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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      • #4
        Now, now, XC. You know SC's are impervious to logic...and common sense (which will be redefined as a superpower in our lifetime).
        I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

        Who is John Galt?
        -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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        • #5
          Quoth FerrousBueller View Post

          I've done costuming for years. I've done chainmaille, I've done leather working, I've done prop construction and I'm a trained blacksmith.
          You, sir, are awsome.

          Quoth FerrousBueller View Post
          I was making a dress for a woman- a Victorian era ball gown. We're talking whole nine yards; cinch corset with bead work and lace, pleated hoop skirt with bustle, bloomers, puffy-sleeved blouse with a coat covered in even more lace, bead-work and embroidery. Bottom line- her bill was topping $5,000 for this dress. Everything was hand done and frankly, I should have charged her much more.
          This is what people come in and want to make in a day, for $20, and have never sewn before. This!

          Quoth FerrousBueller View Post
          I feel like I got hit by a freight train. I swear as I type this, I really do think I'm through with custom work and just... I think this is that defining moment where people in movies go "Okay! I'm going to be a super villain now! Bring me a death ray and a fluffy cat!" It is passed 3:30 am and... well, I guess I feel better getting it off my chest. But a huge chunk of my faith in humanity is gone.
          I know you're mad, but this last bit just made me laugh. I worry that I'll crack one day and take someone's precious fabric that they don't want to pay for and cut it all up into tiny pieces. "Now you can't have it! Mawhahaha!" Oh, and that comment about not telling people she had work done? Um, if they saw her before, they will KNOW. You won't have to say anything.
          Replace anger management with stupidity management.

          Comment


          • #6
            Great write-up. Not only can you craft clothing and objects, but words as well.

            This woman must be one of the most pea-brained idiots ever. She's like the morons who show up at the furniture store to bring home a sofa in a tiny compact car, multiplied by the huge factor of the cost of the dress. I certainly hope she has not and will not reproduce.
            Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints...
            TASTE THE LIME JELLO OF DEFEAT! -Gravekeeper

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            • #7
              Turn the re-do down. Or, at the least, get a credit card with her name on it to authorize the work. You don't want this woman to ride off into the proverbial sunset with your dress, and then have her husband deny any and all knowledge of authorization for the re-do.

              Better yet, only take cashier's check or money order for the re-do; my spidey-sense is tingling on actually getting the re-do paid for.

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              • #8
                Yeah, I had a leg amputated this morning, but, if you tell ANYONE I'm gonna SUE!!! THAT'S SLANDER!!!!
                - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                • #9
                  Steps to take in the future

                  1) For commissions so expensive take pictures and have signatures that the test version is the right size.

                  2) Contact husband to confirm use of credit card.

                  3) Charge more, people like this think the more you charge the better it must be.

                  4) Death rays are hard to get because of government regulations, fluffy white cats are not cheap but there are few rules against owning one.

                  5) Get a chair that lets you spin around, learn how to stroke a cat with an evil smile.

                  6) Install trap door in floor.

                  7) Assuming you wife looks like a Bond Girl in your eyes you have it all.

                  Good Luck.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
                    6) Install trap door in floor.
                    WHY DO EVEN HAVE THAT LEVER?
                    Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
                    Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

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                    • #11
                      Honestly the first thing I think of when thinking of guy stroking a fluffy cat is Vito Corleone in his favor-asking room...
                      My Guide to Oblivion

                      "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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                      • #12
                        Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
                        ...

                        5) Get a chair that lets you spin around, learn how to stroke a cat with an evil smile.

                        6) Install trap door in floor.

                        7) Assuming you wife looks like a Bond Girl in your eyes you have it all.
                        8) Get a mini-me.
                        "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                        • #13
                          sharks with lasers on their heads

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                          • #14
                            Wait... She went from an A cup to a DD and had other work done and she thinks no one will notice? She doesn't want you to tell anyone she got work done because all her friends are blind? She's crazy.

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                            • #15
                              So, we have Customer Standard Time and now... Customer Standard...er...Measurements?

                              Also

                              to

                              Mind the perverts and their puns. Be careful where you look, brain bleach stocks are low. Talk to Jester for booze.
                              Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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