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The Auctioneer is a regular only a few of our employees can deal with. The reason is not that she's obnoxious--she is quite nice. The problem is that, per her name, she talks very fast. That, and we feel her priorities are a little misplaced. She is a regular, so I may have more stories.
Story 1:
Auctioneer comes with her son, and rents our aluminum fishing boat. Anyone who knows anything about boats, particularly those boats, should realize that they aren't all that stable. From what I understand, the son decided to try and clean a fish on the boat. He ended up cutting his leg when a wave hit.
Auctioneer: Doyouhavesuperglue?
Me: Err, no. I don't think so. Why?
Auctioneer: My-son-cut-himself-while-on-the-boat.
J: We have band-aids and a first aid kit.
Auctioneer: I-need-superglue-to-fix-up-his-wound-or-he-will-have-to-get-stitches.
Auctioneer gets paper towel and leaves.
P comes in and explains she is leaving, understandably, to take her son to the hospital and gets her a refund.
She comes back in later to take the boat out, saying that, despite the cut, the boy was fine, and the father agreed to let her take him out.
Story 2:
Today, Auctioneer called. We were training a massive amount of employees, (more than half the staff were being trained). One of them, T, answers the phone.
T seems very confused. After she hangs up, she explains that the woman was talking very fast, but said she would be late for her rental. Auctioneer rarely comes on time, so we aren't surprised. T then complains she is very hard to understand, and doesn't want to answer the phone again.
I answers the phone when Auctioneer calls next. Auctioneer explains, and here is the brain-stopper:
She will be late because someone's life support is being pulled, but she is still coming and she will call in 10 minutes to give us her credit card number to put down her deposit.
T, D, and M, the trainees, seem terrified at the idea of trying to decipher her to take that call. I agree to take it, having dealt with Auctioneer a few times before, and generally able to decipher her.
Auctioneer does not call.
At the desk, when she arrives, she shows us a picture of her father who was on life support, and died recently. Now we know who was on life support. She apologizes for being late, and we explain it is fine.
Several hours later, she comes back in with a puppy. This puppy moves as fast as Auctioneer talks.
We have a policy that all dogs are offered a treat. The puppy gets a medium-sized treat, given to him by me. The puppy, with puppy-like-enthusiasm, tries to lick my face. I get down so it is easier for him. While she leaves us with the puppy and leash, I spend the next several minutes trying to pull the dog out of my hair, as it literally decided to get on top of my head.
S takes the dog away from me, and gets smacked in the face several times, as I get away. M takes the dog, and gets smacked in the face several times as well. Auctioneer finally takes the dog. It is three months old, and did sit down when given the treat, so at least she is attempting to train it.
I'm pretty permissive with animals. I hosted rats for a week, and allowed them to climb all over me, explore my ear, attempt to stuff their face in my nose, failing, of course, and discovering my scalp. (I drew the line at letting them open my mouth, however.) My current rabbit's favorite place to rest his head when I pet him is in-between my breasts. I am okay with that. I have a cat willing to spend hours on my lap when I have to get up, and I rarely take her off unless I really, really have to go.
However, I do draw the line very firmly at a dog standing on my head. Sorry. Your puppy is not little enough or cute enough to get away with it.
She's never really rude. She's just a handful sometimes.
Story 1:
Auctioneer comes with her son, and rents our aluminum fishing boat. Anyone who knows anything about boats, particularly those boats, should realize that they aren't all that stable. From what I understand, the son decided to try and clean a fish on the boat. He ended up cutting his leg when a wave hit.
Auctioneer: Doyouhavesuperglue?
Me: Err, no. I don't think so. Why?
Auctioneer: My-son-cut-himself-while-on-the-boat.
J: We have band-aids and a first aid kit.
Auctioneer: I-need-superglue-to-fix-up-his-wound-or-he-will-have-to-get-stitches.
Auctioneer gets paper towel and leaves.
P comes in and explains she is leaving, understandably, to take her son to the hospital and gets her a refund.
She comes back in later to take the boat out, saying that, despite the cut, the boy was fine, and the father agreed to let her take him out.
Story 2:
Today, Auctioneer called. We were training a massive amount of employees, (more than half the staff were being trained). One of them, T, answers the phone.
T seems very confused. After she hangs up, she explains that the woman was talking very fast, but said she would be late for her rental. Auctioneer rarely comes on time, so we aren't surprised. T then complains she is very hard to understand, and doesn't want to answer the phone again.
I answers the phone when Auctioneer calls next. Auctioneer explains, and here is the brain-stopper:
She will be late because someone's life support is being pulled, but she is still coming and she will call in 10 minutes to give us her credit card number to put down her deposit.
T, D, and M, the trainees, seem terrified at the idea of trying to decipher her to take that call. I agree to take it, having dealt with Auctioneer a few times before, and generally able to decipher her.
Auctioneer does not call.
At the desk, when she arrives, she shows us a picture of her father who was on life support, and died recently. Now we know who was on life support. She apologizes for being late, and we explain it is fine.
Several hours later, she comes back in with a puppy. This puppy moves as fast as Auctioneer talks.
We have a policy that all dogs are offered a treat. The puppy gets a medium-sized treat, given to him by me. The puppy, with puppy-like-enthusiasm, tries to lick my face. I get down so it is easier for him. While she leaves us with the puppy and leash, I spend the next several minutes trying to pull the dog out of my hair, as it literally decided to get on top of my head.
S takes the dog away from me, and gets smacked in the face several times, as I get away. M takes the dog, and gets smacked in the face several times as well. Auctioneer finally takes the dog. It is three months old, and did sit down when given the treat, so at least she is attempting to train it.
I'm pretty permissive with animals. I hosted rats for a week, and allowed them to climb all over me, explore my ear, attempt to stuff their face in my nose, failing, of course, and discovering my scalp. (I drew the line at letting them open my mouth, however.) My current rabbit's favorite place to rest his head when I pet him is in-between my breasts. I am okay with that. I have a cat willing to spend hours on my lap when I have to get up, and I rarely take her off unless I really, really have to go.
However, I do draw the line very firmly at a dog standing on my head. Sorry. Your puppy is not little enough or cute enough to get away with it.
She's never really rude. She's just a handful sometimes.
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