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  • Dear me,

    Please stop being so hard on yourself.

    You're a wonderful person (by a nearly unanimous vote).

    At work, you do the best you can. It's not your fault you're the only one in your department that actually works. Yes, it sucks that your dept. manager knows but doesn't do anything about it, but rise above it.

    *hugs*

    Love,

    Me
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

    Comment


    • Dear Assistant Moron.
      Look I have only worked with you for a few short weeks, but the level of stupidity you have spewed forth at me in such a short time is just amazing. I have no idea how you got to be assistant, and really don't want to know, I am far to scared to learn the truth. You have no business managing a cash register, let a lone the hole damn store. I know this company has always done things this way, no sorry it does not make their policies any less idiotic. I do not care how many times you spout to me that it won't change because they have just always done it this way, I will tell you the same thing. We can go around in circles about it until the day you leave if you want. I don't care how you try to justify things, they very fact that it is actually policy to never turn away from a customer even to remove trash for them proves my case. If that is not good enough for you, how about the one you told me about a few days ago? How do you justify that we can't even talk about the daily news to customers. Oh I remember now, they would sue us because we told them about it before they got to read/ or hear about it, yeah.....
      Among other things you fail to understand;
      I will not be satisfied if my cigarette count is 'only' a couple hundred packs off. I do not care how many times I am told that it is fine, 20 cartons short is not fine!
      I do not find it amusing that you pulled out my drawer and hid it, neither do I care that it was ' to teach me a lesson." I did not exit out of the register when I went out to sweep the lot because, there is no point. Even if I signed out any one of you asshats could sign right back in under your own number and take all of the money. There is really no way to actually tell if who lost/stole the money unless it was a legit mistake that will show up on the paperwork. Even if I did sign out, you are the assistant manager, if you really wanted to mess up my drawer you have my code anyways, so really what is the point again?
      And no you stupid selfish little girl I do not care that you have been on the register for a whole 2 hours. You can bitch at me all you like, I do not give a rats ass that you are the assistant manager. You see that soda fountain over there, see all the cup slots that are empty, and all the lids that are strewn all over the place, yeah you can go have your precious smoke as soon as I clean that up. What, I have to listen to you? Fine fire me, go ahead I dare you to, I am going to clean that mess up, you really should save your breath.
      Oh just as a friendly warning, I heard you put your notice in yesterday. Yes I already heard that you were interviewing at other awesomesauce gas station, which was exactly why I turned down their offer. I don't want even a remote chance of having to work with you ever again. I just wanted to let you know that you probably won't last two weeks there.
      I know some people in management for them, and trust me they run a tight ship over there. They don't tolerate crap. Trust me on this, I really want you succeed there, honestly I do, so that I never have to worry that one day you will be back.
      For reference here is a list of some of your regular habits they probably won't like:
      1. You will not be able to go out for 6 or more smoke breaks in an 8 hour shift, sorry you will not even get one. Sure you can go smoke, but you will be required to actually work while doing so, sorry.
      2. It will not be acceptable to do a shift change 4 hours after it should have been done, just so you could stand around and gab, eat, go smoke, whatever while the other cashier is forced to deal with long lines.
      3. It is most likely that when you make a claim to do some massive project, like hose down the entire lot and them go through and pick up every piece of trash on the lot, in the grass, and even inside of bushes, all in less than an hour some one is probably going to go verify your claim, same for pricing and stocking large orders, if it takes you less than and hour to price every single individual item, in an order that takes 20 minutes or more to just to be brought into the store, someone is probably going to check.
      4. Depending on everyone else to do the actual daily work. Sure I know you are management and all, and it gives you perks. Sadly your new company is probably not going to blow their budget on an excessive work force. You are used to having 5+ people working a sift sometimes as many as 6 or 7, that is highly waist full. There is little to no chance another company is going to waist that sort of money. Yes I know you claim we are so busy, that we need it yada yada. No we don't. there is zero reason that we need two, three, or four cashiers, two people in the kitchen and one or two members of management every day. The max I can see being needed are two cashiers, one kitchen, and maybe the manager. Sorry but all those big projects you like to pretend you do, will not fly at another place.

      Hope we cleared some things up.
      Good luck and Good Riddance.
      Pyxee

      Comment


      • Dear model companies,

        Would you all quit making so many cool new kits this year? My hobby budget is already stretched pretty thin as it is. Also, the "limited runs" just piss me off. I understand that all those kits will sell out, but give me a break, OK? While we're at it, can we get something *different* at the hobby shop? I'm thinking more of the lines of an MGB GT, Austin-Healey, or similar long-out-of-production cars.

        Thanks,
        Pro
        ==========

        Dear 1969 MGB GT,

        I'm sorry I haven't been over to see you in awhile, and that you've been sitting across town in the garage for the past few years. I was hoping to have you running again long ago, but the pressures of work, house, and life got in the way. Don't hold it against me, and we'll go crusing very soon. Oh, and your new bumper is in the mail

        --Pro
        ===========

        Dear Snowie,

        It's not quite the same that you're not around. The house is just too damn quiet, and I have nobody to snuggle with while watching TV. You were a good kitty, and I miss you terribly,

        Love,
        Protege
        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

        Comment


        • Dear Humans.

          Your ego is irrelevant - deal with it.

          The universe.
          When I said "From my research", what I actually meant to say was "Made shit up" - from a thottbot thread

          Comment


          • Dear Cindy Crawford

            You must be an alien. No one can be your age, have a kid and look that hot. I hate you.


            Teach me!

            Love

            rads
            The report button - not just for decoration

            Comment


            • Dear Jackass

              Why is it that I'm making all the consessions here? Shouldn't it be going both ways? Shouldn't it be compromise? Shouldn't we both be making sacrifices in order to get through this? Fuck you.

              Your friend?
              Me
              "Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac Hall

              Comment


              • Dear Roommates,

                Contrary to popular belief toiler paper doesn't grow on trees. It is bought at a store usually by me. If you happened to be the one to use the last of it, go to the store and buy more. Don't use the kleenex, paper towels, or leave a pile of fast food napkins in the bathroom. And when I say toilet paper I mean the good name brand kind not the ghetto gas station 99 cent rolls.

                The trash also does not take itself out, it needs help getting to the garbage can. If you see the garbage can overflowing take it out, don't continue to pile stuff on top of it.

                The only reason I clean the bathroom or kitchen is because none of you can do it properly. I don't mind. But after I have worked a forty hour week and still clean the house on my day off, all I want is compliments. If I ever hear you whine that the kitchen was so disgusting last night that you couldn't even make dinner, I will chase you around the house with a mop screaming obscenties.

                Consider yourself warned
                Your Roommate TruthHurts
                My Horror Blog

                Cinemania

                Comment


                • Quoth Andara Bledin View Post
                  I don't know how it is where you are, but around here, it's against noise ordinances for car alarms to go off for more than a short time, like 10 minutes or something. They can be ticketed beyond that. I'd report it.
                  Wow, I forgot about those! I don't know if my townhouse district (?) has that but I'll be sure to call the Main Office when they open Monday morning. Thanks for the advice! Now I just have to get the address or the plates of the asshat that lets his alarm go off forever!

                  -EQ
                  Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                  Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                  Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                  Comment


                  • Dear Financial Aid Department for HCC,

                    Thanks for telling me that your 2 months behind on processing financial aid applications only to tell me a week before school starts that I was missing certain things that needed to be done and I have to wait for second start classes.


                    Also I would like to thank you for taking till 2 days before classes for second start that I make too much for financial aid and that you do not give emergency loans for people relying on student loans thus forcing me to be out TWO semesters and to save up for Summer. DIAFF kthxbi


                    Love
                    Angry Student
                    Never Underestimate the Element of Surprise - Odo, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

                    Captain John Rourke(Clear Skies) - Ah, yes. another Black Bird. Are they free with cereal now or something?

                    Comment


                    • Dear Hair,

                      STOP GOING GRAY! I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS SHIT!

                      Send Clairol ASAFP,

                      TTAZ
                      "I've never had a heart attack, but it isn't for my son's lack of trying." - Me

                      Comment


                      • Dear Schroeder,

                        You are the sweetest puppy in the whole wide world and I wouldn't trade you for anything.

                        However...

                        PLEASE stop barking your damn fool head off at everything that you think may or may not have moved. You are a BEAGLE. BEEEEEEEAGLE. I promise you I have had the vet look closely and you are not a german sheperd in disguise. That is why nobody is afraid of you like you seem to think they should be. A rottweiler foaming at the mouth and snarling might be considered frightening. A beagle going AWOOOOOOOOOO and then proceeding to hide behind me when approached by a laughing toddler, does not make for a bad ass street rep.

                        Remember that 1 1/2 year old that you barked at oh-so-menacingly only to have him kiss you between the ears and call you a "silly puppy"? Yeah. That's how scary you are. Get over yourself and get it through your thick skull that if youstopped trying to be rin tin tin's schizo cousin you'd have more treats and belly rubs than you'd know what to twitch your back leg at.

                        Love,

                        The Mama
                        "I've never had a heart attack, but it isn't for my son's lack of trying." - Me

                        Comment


                        • Quoth Misanthropical
                          I know I'm not always the best mommy in the world and for that, I am sorry, but could you at least put your nasty socks in the washing machine? I really don't want them trying to bite me when I pick them up.
                          But do any of them try to run away? Ours here seem to disappear every once in a while. I'm not sure if my washing machine has turned into some kind of Bermuda Triangle for socks or if the dryer is evaporating them or what . . .

                          Dear Microsoft-

                          While as a computer user I can appreciate your attempt to make Windows more secure and safe and easy to use, you could at least have kept the dial-up networking functions that came with XP intact with Vista instead of chopping them up.

                          My laptop doesn't recognize what the version 6 IP is . . . my ISP is still using the v.4, so what I end up with if I have to use dial-up is more often than not a lost connection after a few minutes online.

                          Oh, and another thing: could you start leaving out all that Norton security crap off the Vista OS??? It was a royal pain to remove off my system, as until I did finally remove it I had to put up with the PC version of the Redneck peeing-for-distance contest between Norton Firewall and Windows Defender. . .

                          In the future, could you actually ASK users for input by way of survey or some such?

                          Thanks for nothing . . .

                          DGoddessChardonnay



                          Dear Britney-

                          I've got two words of advice for you: straighten out.

                          Nobody's impressed and pretty much fed up with your antics for five minutes' worth of attention. Some role model you are becoming for your children.

                          Oh, and when you're out in public, please make sure you're wearing as little as possible to show off that sagging rear end . . . I so enjoy my better half telling me my assets look better than yours - and I'm almost 40.

                          Thanks-

                          DGC
                          Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                          Comment


                          • Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                            Ours here seem to disappear every once in a while. I'm not sure if my washing machine has turned into some kind of Bermuda Triangle for socks
                            Fun fact: most socks get lost from the washer. When you do a load with smaller items such as socks or panties, make sure you don't overfill the load. With top loaders, you have a notable gap between the top of the barrel and the outside of the machine. Side loaders do not have this issue.

                            .......

                            Dear new neighbors,

                            I don't know who you are yet, as they haven't even fixed up the apartment for viewings.

                            However, when you do finally move in and get settled, please be as quiet and pleasant as our neighbors on the other side of us. Our bedroom shares a wall with yours and our front room is right next to your front door.

                            The last people had a son that wore combat boots and tromped heavily everywhere, and they had people pounding on the door at all hours. Please don't do anything to remind me of them.

                            We're great neighbors. You'll hardly even know we're here.

                            Thanks,

                            Fellow Apartment-dweller Andara

                            ^-.-^
                            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                            Comment


                            • Dear Butt:

                              You get any bigger, and I'm going to cut you off and turn you into a rump roast for a small army.

                              Dear Breasts:

                              Stay where you are, or you'll regret it, I promise.
                              You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

                              Comment


                              • Dear customer that knows next to nothing about computers that calls literal SECONDS before I'm calling it a day,

                                You sound like a perfectly pleasant, though not competent, person. The only real problem I had was that you called up at 4:25 when I was set to leave at 4:30. Problem is, #1, no, I'm not going to be straight with you. Yes, I'm a good worker, but I just got back from vacation, closed about 50 tickets, answered about 50 as well, assisted with SEVERAL techs in the field...ALL ON A SATURDAY...MY CRISIS CORE TIME!

                                I'm at work, yes, I know. Therefore, I'm supposed to be working...I know. And CLEARLY, I did. Problem: you. I hate it when I have a call RIGHT BEFORE I'M SUPPOSED TO LEAVE BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE IT'S NO BIG DEAL. Sorry, it is. Fortunately, I didn't fob you off. You legitimately had a problem, I legitimately tried to fix it, and ultimately, yes, you needed to call back, so I don't feel guilty for getting you offa my fuggin line.

                                It wasn't your fault you called when you did. However, there was ONE time where I had a call just like yours and it ended up lasting TWO HOURS and I could only resolve it with the help of my (former) team lead's help, who's kind of an ass (ex-military). I don't mind the overtime, certainly, but at the same time, I was simply ready to go. Oh, how I wish there was a system to simply ensure that would never happen, but alas, it does...it has...and it will probably continue to.

                                Anyway, this isn't really as much of a rant as much of a "happening." Does this happen to anyone else?
                                You can find me on Backloggery, Facebook, Twitch, Twitter, YouTube

                                Comment

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