This cheese isn't real!

[Metiphis]

"Homer, why won't you throw out that sub?"
"My life long dream has always been to eat a whole hoagie."
"No it hasn't, your life long dream was to meet Buzz Aldrin, and you did, at the 97 World's Fair..."
</paraphrased>

Old Simpsons is gold Simpsons.

[AnqeiicDemise]

God, that reminds me of a former friend.

My room mate and I at the time had food allergies: she can't have meat (something in it) gets her sick; I can't have crustaceans, period.

So, this crazy wench, decides she's not only LACTOSE INTOLERANT, but has a seafood allergy too.

We see her stuffing her face full of cheetos the next day (after her grand reveal) ...and that stuff's 100% real cheese. We tell her of this and she goes "oh, I can eat it.. 'cause you know, its PROCESSED!"

Forward a few months later:

A mutual friend of all of us goes to get a burger. Makes a big deal on how she's allergic to Tomatoes and doesn't want them even touching the wrapper they come in. She doesn't want to see them! SHE CANNOT SMELL THEM OR SHE'LL DIE! (this with Pig Face Faker with her)

She gets her burger, stares at it for a moment, goes back to the counter and asks for ketchup. Friend then proceeds to just pile the ketchup on the burger.

PFF: Why honey, you can't eat that. You're allergic to tomatoes!
F: -fluttering her lashes and imitating PFF to the T- But honey, its PROCESSED!


PFF was so stupid, she just didn't get it.

[Broomjockey]

PFF: Why honey, you can't eat that. You're allergic to tomatoes!
F: -fluttering her lashes and imitating PFF to the T- But honey, its PROCESSED!

Not as farfetched as it sounds. I can't have fresh blueberries, they give me a rash. I can have blueberry muffins though. Also, peppers make my throat clog and wheeze, but I can have (mild) salsa, which contains green peppers at the least.

[Seshat]

And all cheese bakes exactly the same, riiight. There's no difference between hard cheeses, soft cheeses, matured cheeses, and so on.

[Sliceanddice]

errrr ok... the cheese thing... and lactose intolerence, unless its a really soft cheese most people who are lactose intolerant can eat cheese.... because well... the fementing cheese making process either eats up all the lactose or produces and enzyme that makes it ok ( i cant remember.... its been awhile) so... yeah not an issue...

[GingerBiscuit]

Unless your casein AND lactose intolerant like me, when all of it messes with your body something chronic!

[AnqeiicDemise]

Well, that I do understand that in SOME cases, food being processed *can* change the way your body reacts.

HOWEVER, this is coming from the woman who *swore* touching a bottle of clam juice or fish sauce because she'd puff up like a fish. This same woman bought KRAFT SINGLES AND ATE THEM because 'it was processed' but wouldn't touch Gouda because she'd die.

My sister is lactose intolerant. She can't have Kraft Singles becuase she ends up in the john five minutes later (we timed it!). I can't touch a crab without blowing up like a helium baloon but I can grab a bottle of clam juice, rub it all over my face and be fine... especially if its sealed still.


Pig Face lied about her food allergies because she wanted to feel special and be in control-- i.e. the places we could eat and whatnot.

In fact, according to Tomato Friend, prior to meeting Roomie and myself, Pig Face would eat cheese and drink milk until it was coming out of her shnoz.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Old Simpsons is gold Simpsons.

Just how many lifelong dreams did Homer have anyway?

I can recall off the top of my head three others--to run onto the field during a baseball game, to be a Blackjack dealer, and to be a contestant on The Gong Show