Commandments for Contacting Call Centers

[Mr Hero]

Should also add Thou shalt not call while eating, drinking, or putting anything of any sort into your piehole. I've lost count of how many phone calls I took hearing smacking sounds that may or may not be...oral...in nature....?

I don't work a call center, but I still take calls. If you absolutely must consume food while on the food, be sure to swallow before speaking!

Though I have to ask. Is drinking something really something I should avoid doing? That's where I personally draw the line when I am on the phone.

[Nashida]

The couple of times I got a drinker, they were using a straw to suck what I can only imagine were brains or something because my ear was just filled with this SCHLORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP sound

[Seanette]

If you can take in liquids while on the phone without making gruesome disgusting noises in the other party's ear, have at it. The sound effects are where the problem is.

[rose_metal_nz]

This is so fantastically accurate - Mods can this be stickied or something? Please!

[Food Lady]

I rarely have issues with any of these except #1. Account number is the first thing I need and they give me contract or invoice number. I mean, a contract number is going to be much less known than a billing account number....

[Seanette]

New entry regarding not having multiple conversations at once. Too many callers today bickering with spouses/partners or screaming at kids.

[Food Lady]

^At least that doesn't happen to me. My customers are calling from work. Our clients are businesses.

[Naaman]

If you're calling to troubleshoot\diagnose an item then be in front of it.
We used to get calls from parents because their kids PC wasn't working, unfortunately their kids were at university and couldn't we just send someone out to fix it?

[Kit-Ginevra]

New entry regarding not having multiple conversations at once. Too many callers today bickering with spouses/partners or screaming at kids.

...Not forgetting demented racist parrots....

[Sparklyturtle]

I didn't realize I was so atypical. When I had to call our health insurance help line I had the paperwork in question, my card, and a pen right in front of me. I transacted my business, and right before I hung up my cat jumped into my lap and meowed into the phone, making the CSR laugh. I also was polite, because I've discovered you can accomplish a lot more by being polite than by being a grouch.

Oh, this was a dictation, not a call, but the same rule applies: Thou shalt not call from a football game. Transcribing this dictation was a hoot.