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What is the funniest support call you can imagine?

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  • #16
    Quoth Mongo Skruddgemire View Post
    Final cost?

    New monitor $300
    New Video Card $120
    Labor $75 (hour and a half)
    Carpet Cleaner $6.00 (soda stain on the carpet when I told my boss and her Pepsi shot out of her nose...that musta hurt)

    M
    memory of the most special and lucky customer on the planet: Priceless

    Sounded like a master card commercial.

    Here's one of those people, not the brightest crayon in the box. I may have posted this elsewhere on the board, but I love this story and I tell it over and over again.

    G - Girl Sitting beside me
    C - Clueless guy she's talking to

    G - Thank you for calling tech support, My name is blah, can I please have your name?
    C - cluelessguy you're talking to
    G - Hi clueless, how can I help you today?
    C - well the interac machine on my computer ate my credit card.
    G- I'm sorry?
    C - I was on ebay, and I wanted to buy something so I put my credit card in the slot and it won't come back out. I would like my credit card back, and I would like to know if I have been charged for the purchase.
    G - *mute on* Hey anode, do these computers have interac slots?
    Me - WTF?
    G - This guy somehow got his credit card into the computers interac slot
    Me - *scratches head, then looks at the crappy old model that they have us stuck on, then thinks this guy probably has a slot loading CD drive* I dunno . (I like to see dumb people squirm, makes me feel warm and special inside.)
    G - *off mute, can almost see the lightbulb turn on over her head* What type of computer are you using (which should have been evient at the beginning of the call, but whatever)
    C - iBlob
    G - What colour is it?
    C - Blue
    G - Okay, that is not an interac slot, that is a CD drive. You will have to take the computer in to a service provider to replace the drive.

    Good times. I elaborated where my memory lost some stuff, but for the most part it's true. We howled laughing after the call though.
    At least Adam and Steve don't have to worry about leaving the toilet seat up

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    • #17
      True call I had the fortune of experiencing yesterday. Lady had called the day before to disconnect service as she's going to AZ for the winter or whatever. She calls and tells me that she disconnected the cablemodem, and plans to bring it to the office on her way, tommorow.
      Now she can't get online. I misunderstood her at first and thought that neither IE or OE would open either more, but we started her computer, opened IE and got "The Page Cannot Be Displayed" error, and she noted a red X in the bottom corner of her screen. I almost wanted to ask if this was a real call.
      I had to explain to her that the cablemodem was her internet connection, and the reason her phone still works, is because we are completely seperate from her phone, and was one of the reasons she said she went with us. So she could make calls and surf the internet.
      She then offers up that she still has been paying Juno for their service, and using their email address, and wonders why now she can't get online with them. I tell her we probably disabled or removed their settings and she would need to call them for help with that. She of course asked me why she had to call them, to which I tell her the obvious reasons, WE'RE NOT THE SAME COMPANY?!

      To top it off, she asks me, "So I have to call up Juno, tell them I've been paying for their service all these months, without using it, and I need help putting back in their stuff?" All I could respond was, YES! Atleast she thanked me and hung up.

      I've had some real dimwits on the phone, but this was such a simple problem and solution, it just blew me away.

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      • #18
        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
        SC- How do I get everything off my laptop screen? I tried turning it over and shaking it a lot, but it's still there!



        Was this idiot's laptop made by Etch-A-Sketch?

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        • #19
          Another classic tech support legend:

          A woman calls up tech support on the verge of hysteria. Through barely-controlled sobs, she manages to explain to the tech that she spilled coffee all over her boss' keyboard, and she's afraid that she ruined it. The tech reassures her that everything's all right, and all she has to do is run the keyboard under tap water for about 15 minutes to clear it all out. The woman thanks the tech profusely and hangs up.

          Sixteen minutes later, tech support gets another call:
          "May I please speak to the idiot who told my secretary to put my laptop in the sink?"
          "At any time, for any reason and without any warning, a meteor could fall from the sky and kill us all."
          -- The Meteor Principle

          Galbadia Hotel - Free Video Game Soundtrack Downloads

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          • #20
            "i left my computer outside in the rain now it wont work i want a refund"<true>

            "seems like you have a bad workstation and a bad user, we need to replace that(shouts anyone want a new computer, this guys gonna pay for it.)"<not true>

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            • #21
              Dunno if this counts:

              Hi! This is *drug store I work at*, Horsetuna speaking!

              Old man: Hello. Yes, I bought some stamps the other day, but they dont have a price on them.

              Me; Oh, those are the NEW Permanent Stamps for Canada! they are worth whatever the going rate of one stamp is!

              Old man: So what are they worth? How do they tell?

              Me: Well, right now they are worth fifty-one cents each. on Janurary 15th, they will be worth fifty TWO cents each. You dont have to use penny stamps anymore!

              He was rather innocent and sweet though, so I dunno if he counts. But I was using a very sweet, nice voice and the customers listening chuckled a little. It took longer than this, and I dont think he really understood the idea of 'permament stamps'.
              Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

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              • #22
                Seriously? I only buy stamps like every 3-4 years, so I haven't heard yet.
                GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Quoth tollbaby View Post
                  Seriously? I only buy stamps like every 3-4 years, so I haven't heard yet.
                  The US just instituted the same sort of thing this past year. When you buy a first class stamp, it can be used as a first class stamp no matter how much higher the cost of the stamp goes up.

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                  • #24
                    Had them for some years over here.

                    Rapscallion

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Quoth yahurd View Post
                      "i left my computer outside in the rain now it wont work i want a refund"<true>
                      "I put my laptop in a slipcover and let my brother use it as a pillow. Now my screen is cracked. I want a refund." <also true>
                      I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
                      - Bill Watterson

                      My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
                      - IPF

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                      • #26
                        Quoth HawaiianShirts View Post
                        "I put my laptop in a slipcover and let my brother use it as a pillow. Now my screen is cracked. I want a refund." <also true>
                        /me channels Tim Allen: AHWUHHHHHH?

                        That can't be too comfortable. Anybody who uses a laptop as a pillow deserves to have it break, IMHO
                        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                        • #27
                          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                          /me channels Tim Allen: AHWUHHHHHH?

                          That can't be too comfortable. Anybody who uses a laptop as a pillow deserves to have it break, IMHO
                          The sad part is that the guy was a lawyer.
                          Y'know. A person who was supposed to be smart.
                          "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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                          • #28
                            years ago, (before I moved to the southern part of my state) I remember walking into the office, only to find this Tech guy sitting there with our computer in bits and pieces as he was trying to fix it. This struck me as rather odd, since the computer had been installed that morning and there was no reason for it to need fixing. It's been a while, but I think the convo went something like:

                            M=Manager
                            r= Young repsac. Oh so innocent to the ways of retail.
                            T=Tech

                            r: Hello?
                            T: Hi. Do you need something?
                            r: Well...kinda. Why is the computer in parts?
                            T: I got a call that there was a problem with the (here he rattles on about things I have no clue about, but the gist of it was the comp had crashed badly.)
                            r: Oh. When did this happen?
                            T: Sometime yesterday. I don't see anything wrong with it. Could be just that it's too old. Machines like this, they're only good for a year or two before you have to update it. This one looks like it's been here a while. Do you know how long it's been here?
                            (bout this time the manager walks in, he does not look amused.)
                            M: About three hours.
                            T: (blinks and stares.) What?!
                            M: About three hours. You're "bob" aren't you?
                            T: (slowly nods)
                            M: yeah. Thought so. You want O'mallys. They're two doors down on your left. Might as well call back to your company, tell them to send someone else over there while you put our computer back together, or if you rather, I could call them....

                            That computer got assembled in record time, and worked fine when we turned it on. My manager made SURE to have the guy hang around just to be certain it worked.
                            Learn wisdom by the follies of others.

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