Night of Doom: The Soccer Kids

[unholypet]

...and callers.

Soccer kids:

They came in a trove, and left in squealing packs. 8-10 year old wreaking general havoc by squealing (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE) or throwing cinnabread (around and above other customers), or leaving their dessert pizza bits on the floor to dry. Which I had to mop up rather viciously...

And nevermind the leaving drinks full everywhere, or the screaming at each other to talk when they are standing together. Even the parents encouraged the behavior and giggled when my patent death glare came their way.

Kid caller:
I got chewed out on the phone by a girl's dad... the girl is 12, and I had to stop her to get an adult.. No kids allowed to order, so I asked for a parent... the Dad didn't know the phone number, or address, or what he wanted, so he handed back to the 12 yr old and then the Mom got it, and she ordered, and had to have the Dad verify it, and then verify with the kid and I should never accuse his child of credit card theft (wtf) and blah.

Another caller:
Man: I want a bacon and pepperoni pizza.. large.
Me: OKay, is that all for you tonight?
Man: yeah.
Me: OKay, you got a pepperoni and bacon larg--
Man: NO!!
Me: O_0'''
Man: It was bacon and pepperoni.
Me: ...of course, how silly of me.

ANOTHER caller:
This woman lives in (trailer park) in lot something... she ordered delivery..

Her:You have go straight or left because if you go right you go in that big ditch.. and you gonna one of those ways.. let me tell you six different ways to my trailer and then you decide which is easiest.

And then:
Her: Now, I want Canadian bacon. I know you have none, but I'll give you all a big tip for buying me some special.
Me: I can't do that...
Her: Well what are your specialties ???

So I name all 16 of them... then she puts me on speaker phone IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DRIVEWAY LANE and has me repeat it three times for the neighbors who are also hungry.

Her: And what is a specialty.. are you sure you know where I am? Across from Lowe's.. you know? Where the big ditch is? I have a red Nissan car, and a silver Taurus and OH GOD.. the neighbors have a silver one,too.. well this is the SEVENTH way to my house blah and no I wanna pay with one of five credit cards... Which one works.. hmm...

And then she tried to get me to sing the radio (company)'s song on speakerphone.


>_<

[Chazzie]

Another caller:
Man: I want a bacon and pepperoni pizza.. large.
Me: OKay, is that all for you tonight?
Man: yeah.
Me: OKay, you got a pepperoni and bacon larg--
Man: NO!!
Me: O_0'''
Man: It was bacon and pepperoni.
Me: ...of course, how silly of me.

You have to be careful about things like that! If your manager catches a huge mistake like that you might lose your job.

ANOTHER caller:
And then she tried to get me to sing the radio (company)'s song on speakerphone.
>_<

She could tell by your voice that you're a great singer. (:

[HawaiianShirts]

My sympathies on the soccer kids. I've had to clean up after those parties before. Not fun. Especially when the parents obviously don't care what's going on. It's as if they know you have to clean up and they don't, so they're just going to sit there smirking.

Her:You have go straight or left because if you go right you go in that big ditch.. and you gonna one of those ways.. let me tell you six different ways to my trailer and then you decide which is easiest.

I was a pizza delivery driver in high school. I also took and made orders, but delivery was my primary job. I hated customers who would give me directions. The roads in the town I lived in had been designed with an almost perfect grid system. Give me numbers, and I'll find it. Some customers thought that wouldn't be enough but gave in with a little coaxing. One lady in particular, though, was notorious for giving overly detailed directions every time she called in. Once, when all the cashiers were busy, I took her call. After this, she never bothered with directions again.

Me: And what's your address?
Her: Oh, you'll never find it with the address. Let me tell you how to get here..."
Me: Ma'am, I'm sure we'll be able to find it with the address. This town is really easy, and most of our drivers have been making deliveries here for half a year or more.
Her: No, this one's really hard.
Me: I can tell by your phone number that you're in the north end of the area. I know that area very well, and I'll probably end up delivering this one myself. An address will be sufficient.
Her: No, I have to give you directions. You'll never find it with just the address.
Me: Well, let me get the address anyway, just for our records. Then I'll take your directions.
Her: Oh, sure. It's 15085 North 7555 West*.
Me: Ah, I know that place. It's white, the driveway's on the south side, you have one tree, but it's a gigantic pine of some kind, and there is no railing on the stairway up to your front door. Your neighbor at 15105 North has one of the biggest Great Danes I've ever seen. The neighbor across the street at 15160 used to have a red mailbox, but it got smashed somehow a couple months ago. Yeah, I know how to get there. Past the high school, down 8200 West, over the train tracks, turn right, turn left, over the tracks again, through the four-way stop, take the left fork past Lee's Motel, and you're on the left.
Her: Oh... uh... Did yo... When do you think it'll be here?
Me:

*Not really, but similar number patterns.

[unholypet]

Me: And what's your address?
Her: Oh, you'll never find it with the address. Let me tell you how to get here..."
Me: Ma'am, I'm sure we'll be able to find it with the address. This town is really easy, and most of our drivers have been making deliveries here for half a year or more.
Her: No, this one's really hard.

Love that ONE out there that regards you as the dumbarse.

[sms001]

Soccer kids:

.... or pee wee football kids, or little league, or......
Why does almost every adult involved in kids athletics think that "taking them out for a fun time" = "letting them run amok doing things you'd NEVER allow them to do elsewhere?"

Me: OKay, you got a pepperoni and bacon larg--
Man: NO!! It was bacon and pepperoni.
Me: ...of course, how silly of me.

Stoner almost got wrong pizza. Bad. (Or maybe an OCDer whose ingredients HAVE to be listed alphabetically?)

Her: Well what are your specialties ???
So I name all 16 of them... then she puts me on speaker phone ... has me repeat it three times for the neighbors who are also hungry.

What a nice lady. Could have had you name them all, handed you to husband, name them all, handed phone to neighbor #1, name them all, neighbor #2........

delivery was my primary job. I hated customers who would give me directions. The roads in the town I lived in had been designed with an almost perfect grid system. Give me numbers, and I'll find it.

I get it from the inside. MOST towns have addresses. In fact, every one I've ever been in. When I first started delivering I asked my sup what this town's origin point was. I was new to the area and didn't know. Neither did he. Well, I found out, and from there it was a piece of cake.

[Unneeded Geography] Towns number blocks from a certain point. Whether they are numbers or named streets, 1200 N. Thatstreet is generally 12 blocks north of whatever east to west street comprises that leg of the origin. As an added bonus, most town stick to all even numbers on one side and all odds on the other. I realize this isn't true for REALLY old towns with lots of winding streets, but in general. [/Unneeded Geography]

Anyway, I get it from the inside. A lot of our deliveries are large manufacturing concerns. So I get tickets with "Big Huge Deal Company" .... and no address. I'll ask someone (and they all answer the same, so it doesn't matter who I ask.) and I'll get: "Oh, it's right past where the Dairy Queen burned down three years ago." or "It's off that little side road right before where you'd turn to go to Piggly Wiggly." or.... well, you get the picture.

Look, I hate to drag you yokels kicking and screaming into the 19th century, but I'M NOT FROM YOUR VILLAGE!!! The elders have realized that there may be strangers among you and have kindly put numbers on things so I can find my way around without seven generations of my family having lived here!!!

Even the head honcho does this. You'd think he'd WANT the $900.00 worth of pizza to get there promptly and accurately.

Sorry for the thread hijack here Unholypet, but I was thinking of it while I read your post, and HawaiianShirts opened the door and let me in

[BookstoreEscapee]

Me: OKay, you got a pepperoni and bacon larg--
Man: NO!!
Me: O_0'''
Man: It was bacon and pepperoni.
Me: ...of course, how silly of me.

The toppings must be in alphabetical order!!!


Even if your house IS hard to find, who the hell doesn't start with an address anyway? I don't tell people to come to my house and then not tell them the name of the street. I don't expect people to count streets or houses from whatever arbitrary point they may pass on the way. I say, "I live at 123 ABC street, right off of Route XX. Do you need directions?" Then I start with "go through X lights and it's the fourth right past Y street." How hard is that?

[Bliss]

Me: Ah, I know that place. It's white, the driveway's on the south side, you have one tree, but it's a gigantic pine of some kind, and there is no railing on the stairway up to your front door. Your neighbor at 15105 North has one of the biggest Great Danes I've ever seen. The neighbor across the street at 15160 used to have a red mailbox, but it got smashed somehow a couple months ago. Yeah, I know how to get there. Past the high school, down 8200 West, over the train tracks, turn right, turn left, over the tracks again, through the four-way stop, take the left fork past Lee's Motel, and you're on the left.

And then you were very blessed she's not a member of the tfhfc (Tin Foil Hat Fun Club), else she'd be convinced you're spying on her and waited for you with her boom stick.

Another caller:
Man: I want a bacon and pepperoni pizza.. large.
Me: OKay, is that all for you tonight?
Man: yeah.
Me: OKay, you got a pepperoni and bacon larg--
Man: NO!!
Me: O_0'''
Man: It was bacon and pepperoni.
Me: ...of course, how silly of me.

Well in SOME cases this could make sense... For example one of my favorite (but horribly expensive and snobbish) local ice cream parlors sell ice cream tins, and for the way they serve, the first flavor they serve gets a little more (very little) ice cream than the second one. So I order my flavors in order to set the one I want first and the one I want second for flavor progression, and to get a little more of the one I like the most that day (and, I've cultivated a way of ordering this that is fast and is not bossy to the employees)

But in this case maybe the moron couldn't figure both ingredients would cover all the pizza (no eating order involved) and they're dossaged one by one by a preset ammount (no getting more of one or the other involved)....

[Broomjockey]

Heh. This reminds me of my old place. The only way to get to the front door is from the south. That's it. Any other direction, and you'd not even be able to see my house for all the other houses blocking your view. And I usually remembered to specify that.

One time, I forgot. The poor pizza guy ended up at my back door, and asked me "Is this XXXX-XXst.?" and then had to walk across the communial back lawn/parkish area back to his car a quarter-block away.

[smileyeagle1021]

Her: Oh, sure. It's 15085 North 7555 West*.


*Not really, but similar number patterns.

I'm not sure where in utah you are, but if that is a salt lake address that's in the middle of the lake... what's scary though is that I actually know the system well enough also that I could figure that out without it actually being on the map., if it's not salt lake then I have no clue where it would be.

[ForestDragon]

It's interesting to note that nowadays you seem to be entered in a computer system when ordering delivery - at least, that's my experience on the rare occasions I order from our local Round Table Pizza. That seems to take care of knowing the address. I wonder if there's additional notes on the particular address like "Very rude." "Never tips." "House obscured." "Nasty dog." On the last note I usually ask the delivery guy to give me a moment to answer the door when he arrives since I have to tie up the dog first. Not that he's necessarily vicious, but he's very excitable and has been known to grab people's pants legs when they're trying to leave.

[edible_hat]

I'm told that in Japan it's customary to give directions rather than addresses because houses are numbered in the order in which they were originally built, not consecutively down the street. Which leads to things like number 207 being between 3 and 4, or 1 and 2 being at opposite ends of the street.

[unholypet]

I wonder if there's additional notes on the particular address like "Very rude." "Never tips." "House obscured." "Nasty dog." .

We just take orders and montiored calls with our computers. We leave notes like how certain customers are NOT to get any specials or coupons, and some are great cutomers, things like that. There's also a special directions space! We don't type in the tip such, that's no one's business but their own. Those comments are only about how they treat us personally lol

[HawaiianShirts]

I'm not sure where in utah you are, but if that is a salt lake address that's in the middle of the lake... what's scary though is that I actually know the system well enough also that I could figure that out without it actually being on the map., if it's not salt lake then I have no clue where it would be.

Nope. That town wasn't on the Salt Lake City grid. Think north. Very north.

It's interesting to note that nowadays you seem to be entered in a computer system when ordering delivery - at least, that's my experience on the rare occasions I order from our local Round Table Pizza. That seems to take care of knowing the address. I wonder if there's additional notes on the particular address like "Very rude." "Never tips." "House obscured." "Nasty dog."

We had some notes in our computer system, but it was usually additional directions like "Go to back door" or "Apartment not numbered--second floor third from east side" or "Deliver to dairy barn." All the details about the customers' dogs, tipping habits, or personalities were just kept in the drivers' heads. There were three names we fought over when deliveries came through--two tipped extremely well and one was about as far away as we could deliver, which meant relaxing in the car (rural area=very little traffic) for about 40 minutes round-trip and getting paid for it. We let the new guys figure out for themselves which neighborhoods would tip and which wouldn't.

Back on one of the the original topics
My department (at the electronics store where I work now--pizza was almost ten years ago) was attacked by a group of screaming kids last night! Three Hispanic families, all with a mob of small children, decided to go computer shopping together. I couldn't help them much because I don't know Spanish and they didn't know English, so I just had to stand back and wait for them to gesture at what they wanted. Meanwhile, all their kids went tearing through the department, playing some game with each other than involved running, shouting, dodging parents the few times one tried to quiet the children, and moving stuff around on the shelves. The networking aisle was a terrific mess when they were done. Eventually, one of them hurt himself and started crying, which got the parents' attention. Three of the adults corralled the kids and took them outside. I guess it's all fun and games until someone trips over a laptop briefcase he knocked to the floor.

[Mark Healey]

[Unneeded Geography] Towns number blocks from a certain point. Whether they are numbers or named streets, 1200 N. Thatstreet is generally 12 blocks north of whatever east to west street comprises that leg of the origin. As an added bonus, most town stick to all even numbers on one side and all odds on the other. I realize this isn't true for REALLY old towns with lots of winding streets, but in general. [/Unneeded Geography]

You'd think. It doesn't work that way in my town. The streets that run north south are numbered and the numbers occupy the same lattitudes or longitudes on paralell streets. In some parts of town the streets are even named after some common theme alphabetically (Alcott, Browning, Curtis, Dumas).

This should make navigation easy. San Diego has lots of canyons runnig through it. Some time, back in the day, they laid out the streets on paper long before they were built, ignoring the canyons, so now we have non-contigous streets with the same name and numbers that imply you could just go from one point to another. You can't.

Just enter 3750 Ibis, San Diego, Ca in google maps. There are four lenghts of street called Ibis.

[Gurndigarn]

Nope. That town wasn't on the Salt Lake City grid. Think north. Very north.

Edmonton ?