The most difficult question in the world.

[GingerBiscuit]

Impossible to answer, leading to confused stares, stammering and a general air of injured incomprehension.

How dare we ask such difficult question at the till point? How DARE we ask our customers to make such a hard decision on their lunch break?

How dare we ask them if they need a bag?

[smileyeagle1021]

I've got the same situation... how dare I ask people which nights they would like to stay... after all, all they want is the rate, what would room availability have to do with the rate I can offer.

[Boozy]

"Is it a gift?"

Inevitably, I have to dumb this one down to "Are you drinking the wine yourself or giving it to someone else to drink?"

[bigjimaz]

Wait until your wife asks you if those pants she's wearing make her butt look fat, especially if she is 5' tall and 180 pounds before she put them on. All else fails in comparison.

[crazylegs]

Wait until your wife asks you if those pants she's wearing make her butt look fat,

Or when she asks you what colour shoes she should wear. (hint, you'll never be right )

[gunsage]

There is something very interesting/annoying I can sort of relate to this. As stated in my profile, I'm an Ohio resident. In Ohio, there's a law about open container. When I worked in gas stations, what we needed to know was that an "open container" was considered anything that could have potentially been opened. Examples...

- A forty that is not in a bag, EVEN IF IT ISN'T OPEN, is an open container.
- A 12 pack, since most are completely enclosed, is not an open container.
- A 6 pack, since most are "half open" (meaning the bottles are visible), is an open container.

Confused? Good. I remember INSISTING several times to "the regulars" in our area that they needed to have their forties bagged.

"Nah, fuck it. I ain't doin' dat. I'ma prolly drink it as I roll up on outta here, anyway."

Now yes, THAT'S 100% illegal...no question, but you get the idea. In any case, there was a situation that occurred recently at our local supermarket. Normally, it's a 50/50 thing if the bagger asks if I'd like my milk/OJ bagged, but I ALWAYS insist on having alcohol bagged, if possible...just in case.

Whether it was that I wasn't paying attention, the bagger was new/an idiot, or what, I don't know. I actually didn't notice it until I had gotten to my car. What, exactly? THE BAGGER DIDN'T BAG MY HUGE ASS WINE JUG. ARRRRRRRRHRHRRHRR! Just a small rant. Sorry about the buildup.

[Tito]

I know what you mean about asking them difficult questions. I, too, have been guilty in the past of asking people a very difficult question when they call in while I am covering the switchboard. When they ask for customer service, I ask them what type of policy they are calling on (different CSRs deal with different types of policies). Seem like a simple question, right? WRONG!!!! The response I often get is 'Umm', 5 seconds of silence, & then an answer. Also, alot of times when they answer, they sound totally dumbfounded.

[smileyeagle1021]

oh, I've been taking 800-holiday overflows (i hate overflows) and you'd be amazed how hard it is for people to tell me the answer to the question
"which location would you like to stay at?"
or "which city and state will you be staying in"
you meen we actually have to know where we are travelling to to reserve a room...

[donruss]

How about when at the pizza shop I ask the customer on the phone:

"What kind of crust would you like on that?"

After about 5 seconds of "Ummm, Ohhh, I don't know, what kind do you have?"

I reply:

"Pan (Deep), Thin (self-explanatory), Hand-Tossed (kind of in the middle), or Stuffed-Crust (again, self-explanatory and only in large)."

They still cant make up their minds.

Jeez, its not brain surgery people!

[protege]

TConfused? Good. I remember INSISTING several times to "the regulars" in our area that they needed to have their forties bagged.

Cape May, NJ has a law like that. If you try to walk out of a restaurant with an open (or even sealed) bottle of wine, you can be arrested. How do I know this? Well, about 2 years ago, my mother nearly did that. She was about halfway out the door, when a waitress stopped her and gave her a bag for the wine. Yep, that would have been fun explaining it to Grandma

[AnaKhouri]

Oh dear God, and don't even bother asking what color they want for the holder for the gift card they just bought.

Red or Blue?

Doesn't seem to difficult to any of us, but you don't see the look of panic that comes over their faces... "Red? Blue? I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!"

[OhHerro]

Every year, my store runs a DVD sale. If you buy 2 DVDs, you get a 3rd (of equal or lesser value of course) for free. It's seems simple enough. If a person manages to get to the register with 2 DVDs and misses the 500 signs in the department notifying them of the sale, we let them know that they get another one for free. By the looks on their face, you'd think I was trying to explain quantum mechanics to them.

Seriously, go to the shelf and pick another DVD. Hell, give it to me, I don't care.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

My hardest question for people is "What is the phone number you're calling about?"

People are just dumbfounded by this difficult question. Exhibit A:

Me: Can I have the phone number you're calling about?
SC: Um...where are my minutes at?
Me: I'm not sure. Can I have the phone number you're trying to put minutes on?
SC: I placed an order but I didn't get the minutes...I don't know what's going on.
Me: Can I have the phone number?
SC: Can you tell me what's going on?
Me: Probably, but I need to look up the phone number first. Can I have that number?
SC: Oh...hang on let me figure out what it is.


Exhibit B:
Me: Can I have the phone number you're calling about?
SC: I NEED YOU TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I SAID SO!
Me: All right, Ma'am, can I have the phone number for that account?
SC: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! WHY CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! YOU'RE ALL STUPID!
Me: Ma'am I need to pull up the account before I can help you. What is the phone number?
SC: I DON'T KNOW! IT'S NOT MY PHONE! WHY CAN'T YOU HELP ME DAMMIT!

etc.

[JustADude]

Red or Blue?

To quote Church: "Red sucks, blue rules!"

[xlr82xs]

The one that seems to stump people the most is "Have you been here before ?"
if for nothing else than they get it wrong ?!

typical conversation with a customer

SC : Internet
Me : I'm sorry what ?
SC : Internet
Me : Oh, you'd like to use a computer ?
SC : Internet
Me : *scanning a card* Have you been here before ?
SC : Yes, Internet
Me : Ah huh
*5 minutes later*
SC : How log internet now ?
Me : Well, if you hadn't said that you had already been here (and thus understood how to follow the instructions on the card that make it PAINFULLY obvious to put the number on the card into the box on the computer that says Guest Card Number) I would have explained this to you.


And no, i'm not implying any sort of racial thing with the terseness of speech i assigned to the average customer, 70% of the customers that come in after ~2am and aren't there to play games speak like that, regardless of their nationality