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  • The neighbors are in need of some help

    This is sort of a continuation of my previous thread which started out light hearted and funny, but it's starting to become sad and annoying.

    Last night, at 3am she was unable to open the door again, and she was "locked out" as she says (Of course she wasn't really locked out, she's just so plastered she can't use a friggen key). She mashes her hand all over the doorbell buttons waiting for someone to let her in, and begins pounding on windows. The woman on the second floor got up, and begrudgingly let her in. This time she was not a happy drunk, and proceeded to yell at this neighbor about God-knows-what after she's let in, and 5 minutes later there is peace. She had since left a note on the neighbor's door apologizing for her drunk and bellicose behavior.

    The neighbors on the first floor have been living here for two months now, and in that time I've sort of bumped into them 5 times, each at different times of day. In each of those times she was drunk. Not just "buzzed" drunk but full out stumbling, nearly collapsing, making inappropriate advances at a (now) engaged neighbor, and yelling at strangers drunk. It doesn't matter if it's 10pm, 10am, 3pm, or 3am... she's drunk. It's the same story for the other occupants; I don't think any of us have seen her completely sober. At any given time she's at best hungover. The guy is generally fine, though. I've bumped into him a few times here and there and it was really just that one time when we first met that he was tipsy.

    It's gotten to the point where I'm almost entertaining the thought of organizing an intervention with the other neighbors, who have expressed their frustration over her as well. Not quite seriously there yet, of course, but the way things are continuing I see it happening sooner or later. This condo building has seen dozens of neighbors moving in and out over the years, and this is the first time I've really been frustrated to the point that I seriously want them gone. But, being condo owners it's virtually impossible to get a complaint that really "evicts" people. The HOA can fine them, they could exercise some kind of lein if they're really bad (but they'd have to do something like raise goats inside their condo in order for that to ever be a reality).

    In the OP of that thread, they asked me if there was any gossip about the other neighbors, and I told them, honestly, no... we're all grownups here. This isn't some reality TV show or a frat house. It's a condo complex. The median age here is 35, and most of us are mature. Ironically, now they've become the gossip, as other neighbors have started talking about them behind their backs and wondering out loud wtf is wrong with these people. Normally I try to stay away from this kind of banter, but it's directly affecting us, as she starts knocking on doors asking random neighbors to "hang out" or to let her in when she's unable to let herself in.

    If she keeps doing this, I don't know what to do. I seriously think she has a drinking problem, and if this becomes a bi-weekly thing like it is now, what do I do? I am so far underwater, I can't easily move out, I can't say anything because I know she's probably just going to flat out deny she has a problem, I can't easily ignore the problem, especially if it's 3am and I am trying to sleep.

    Ugh.
    Last edited by thehuckster; 09-14-2012, 08:19 PM.
    Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
    Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
    Fiancee: What?!
    Me: Nevermind.

  • #2
    It's time to start documenting, stop helping her get inside (at this point, it's become clear that it's enabling her), and start looking into what the local ordinances are regarding public drunkenness.

    I do wonder, however, where the hell is her partner in all of this?

    ^-.-^
    Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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    • #3
      Quoth Andara Bledin View Post
      It's time to start documenting, stop helping her get inside (at this point, it's become clear that it's enabling her), and start looking into what the local ordinances are regarding public drunkenness.
      Well, it's on condo property, so it's not technically public drunkenness. I guess we can ask our neighbors to stop enabling her and just call the police (else she'll be howling all night) when she does this. Chances are that'll just result in her being more belligerent to us and do passive aggressive shit to us.

      Quoth Andara Bledin
      I do wonder, however, where the hell is her partner in all of this?
      Exactly my thoughts as well. I've seen them together often, but I think she just goes on these girls-nights-out at clubs every week. A designated driver at least drops her off, but what I don't get is that driver doesn't even stay and make sure she gets into the building alright. That's just common sense, especially when you're dropping off someone who's so plastered she can't even walk right. Perhaps that's step one: Ask her to please ask her friend to help her into the building so that she doesn't bother her sleeping neighbors.
      Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
      Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
      Fiancee: What?!
      Me: Nevermind.

      Comment


      • #4
        Talk with the other neighbors and agree to the plan. The next time she does that, don't let her in. Call the police.
        Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
        Save the Ales!
        Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

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        • #5
          I don't think she has a drinking problem I know she has a drinking problem. To the point she may solve the problem by giving herself alcohol poisoning. Or her liver will give out.

          I can't imagine being that drunk once let alone all the time. Geeze.
          https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
          Great YouTube channel check it out!

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          • #6
            Wow - I think you ended up with my old neighbor. When I bought my condo years ago, there was a woman in the unit across from like that. You would be talking to her, and she would be so plastered that she literally would stumble while standing up and end up rolling across the wall. What made it worse was that she had two very large dogs that had no training, do they would be barking insanely and she would be screaming nonsense at them.

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            • #7
              That sounds like the family that once lived next door to my parents--where the goofballs live now.

              That family, or should I saw "those parents" were drunk about 99.9% of the time they lived there. There was constant noise coming from that house--they'd be screaming, beating each other up (including the kids , breaking shit, etc. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. During the day, nobody cared--most people were at work or school. Night, was another story. If "Chuck and Diane" started that shit, we called the cops. For the most part, that was a joke. No charges were ever filed on either of them. They eventually moved, following the "garage door incident." That is, Chuck was bombed out of his mind, and thought it was a good idea to fix their garage door at 2am. Didn't work out too well--part of the door fell on him, pinning him against the floor He spent the entire night under the door...because nobody heard his screams for help! We'd gotten so used to the noise, that we all tuned him out. Needless to say, Diane was pissed at us over our "refusal" to help. They moved away not long after. Good riddance.

              What I'm trying to say, is that a few visits from the cops might make the condo association/HOA take notice. Many don't like that sort of thing
              Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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              • #8
                Quoth protege View Post
                Needless to say, Diane was pissed at us over our "refusal" to help. They moved away not long after.
                Where the hell was she????

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                • #9
                  Quoth strawbabies View Post
                  Where the hell was she????
                  I'm going to go out on a limb here and say... Drunk.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth telecom_goddess View Post
                    I don't think she has a drinking problem I know she has a drinking problem. To the point she may solve the problem by giving herself alcohol poisoning. Or her liver will give out.
                    Or she could end up like the fellow who shared my hospital room back in March. His massive alcohol abuse killed off something important inside him. I don't know what it was exactly, but it keeps you from screaming, massive pain when you eat, apparently. Nasty business.

                    Fortunately, his stomach had been clared and he was restricted to a clear diet until the doc said otherwise. So I didn't have to hear him scream in my room, but he did whine constantly for food/more pain drugs/a smoke/more pain drugs/a different, nicer nurse/more pain drugs/<on and on>

                    I had my father bring me a good pair of shooting earplugs so I could sleep, because drunken boob literally kept it up all night. Within two days, he had pissed off every nurse on all four shifts on the floor, and at least one hospital administrator.
                    The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                    "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                    Hoc spatio locantur.

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                    • #11
                      Here's the problem with an intervention: interventions should be at least partly by people who are close to you, who you care about. From what I've gathered from your post, none of the neighbors are that close to this woman, and it sounds like her partner wouldn't be much help in the intervention. I could be wrong, of course, and you might consider approaching him as a group and broaching the idea of an intervention with her, but if he does not get on board, the intervention is pretty much doomed to failure.

                      Your choice. You can try the intervention and see where it goes, but if you don't feel that will work, or you try it and it goes nowhere, I agree with the others and say the neighbors should agree as a group to stop letting the lush in and calling the cops if she won't stop her screaming and banging.

                      And the above comments are coming from a self-professed drunk, who HAS been that drunk from time to time--but I am not that way all or even most of the time, and even my drunk ass finds her behavior disturbing, and would find it annoying if I had to live with or near it.

                      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                      Still A Customer."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        And the above comments are coming from a self-professed drunk, who HAS been that drunk from time to time--but I am not that way all or even most of the time, and even my drunk ass finds her behavior disturbing, and would find it annoying if I had to live with or near it.
                        IMO being drunk from time to time isn't a problem. You go out with friends, have a few drinks, have a little too much, but as long as you play it safe and you know your limits, you're fine.

                        Drunkenness becomes a problem when your actions and behavior affects more than just your friends. If you begin to pick a fight with strangers, get loud and obnoxious and bother neighbors or the public, or of course if you put others' lives on the line by driving drunk, then that's when you've crossed a line, just as this neighbor has.

                        It's not just the frequency this neighbor is drunk, but the fact that when she is drunk she's dependent on anyone near her to do anything, including opening the door at 3am after she's dropped off and apparently abandoned by her friend.

                        If this happens more and more often (the coming home while forgetting how a key works thing only happened twice) I'll definitely need to have a pow-wow with the other neighbors. Her antics are sort of on a bi-weekly basis, so it's not like we're constantly bothered by her, it's just when it happens, it's a routine that's becoming real old real fast.

                        She also needs to know that someone who drops her off and then doesn't make sure she actually makes it inside is a pretty crappy thing to do.
                        Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
                        Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
                        Fiancee: What?!
                        Me: Nevermind.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yes, I was saying that as a drunk myself, I find her actions disturbing, to say the least.

                          I will say this...the driver dropping her off may not be crappy, but might simply be getting told by her that she's "fine" and doesn't "need help," etc. Or she may have yelled at them in the past for attempting to help her in just that way.

                          Or of course, the driver may just be a fuckhead, as you presume.

                          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                          Still A Customer."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Jester View Post
                            I will say this...the driver dropping her off may not be crappy, but might simply be getting told by her that she's "fine" and doesn't "need help," etc. Or she may have yelled at them in the past for attempting to help her in just that way.
                            That's true... if that's the case it's a damn shame the driver doesn't realize just how helpless she truly is.
                            Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
                            Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
                            Fiancee: What?!
                            Me: Nevermind.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Here's the problem with an intervention: interventions should be at least partly by people who are close to you, who you care about.
                              This is a good point. Although the neighbors may mean well, it may do the exact opposite of what you want. and frankly if she's never sober she might never be in a state where she'd be open anyway.


                              personally i'm more for the police. It won't be easy but it will create a paperwork trail of disturbance.

                              It may be easy for a landlord to brush complaints under the rug... but it's much harder for them to ignore it when the police have to show up every night. Plus if your police have a public blotter it can give the landlord something he or she *really* doesn't want - public notice.

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