Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How can I encourage without pushing too hard?

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How can I encourage without pushing too hard?

    Ok, so here's the situation.

    My son has taken to the keyboard. He knows a little bit about time signatures, note duration, etc.

    My wife told me (and I tend to agree) that he has "a gift" for it. We think he could play by ear if he put some effort into it.

    I mean, at one point he learned to play the Tetris theme without the aid of sheet music. And he plays it pretty well, too

    The problem is, he doesn't really want to put effort into learning more of "the basics" and learning other songs.

    I even tried a songbook that goes from simple songs (without chords) to more complex ones that have chords. I even tried offering an incentive that if he got proficient at the songs (and I was picking ones that looked simple within each category), that I would make a recording of him playing them. He seemed receptive to that, but hasn't made any real effort to learn any of them. I even told him they didn't have to be perfect at first, nor did they have to be "at tempo". That he could start slow and work up to it.

    My wife suggested I find songs he might like (no sheet music), and see if he could play them. So I may dig up something like Moonlight Sonata and see what that looks like. Might be a bit complex, though.

    He prefers keyboard over other instruments. I think it's a hand positioning thing. I asked him about guitar, and we have a clarinet around here that just needs some reeds, but he wants to stick to keyboard.

    So what can we do? I don't want to push him too hard and discourage him, but I'd like for him to continue to improve.
    Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

  • #2
    Expose him to people having fun playing the keyboard. Playing music he enjoys.

    While you can self teach keyboard/piano, it is my understanding that learning proper hand position is the difference between decent and great.

    You could set him up. Picture this:
    You and son "happen" by a person having fun playing great music, maybe at a music store. You stop and listen. Person asks son if he likes what he heard and starts conversation. Shows son a couple of fun things. Suggest son takes lessons.

    Of course, this has all been arranged in advance.
    Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
    Save the Ales!
    Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

    Comment


    • #3
      Well first I'd find out if he's really interested in doing it. Just because it might have been fun once doesn't mean there'd be long term interest.

      If he's interested expose him to other people playing ask if he'd want to take a class if there's one in the area. Let him set the pace.
      How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

      Comment


      • #4
        My 13 year old son has recently taken an interest in learning to draw, and he seems to have a natural talent. In fact, with practice, I think he would be REALLY good. But I don't want to make it into a "thing" or a chore. What I've done is for Easter, I bought him a little artist set with all the pencils, charcoal and that sort of thing, and also a book that sort of shows the various steps, gives some helpful hints.

        He's practiced a time or two since then, and he his super critical of his own work. So I've asked him to show me what he has done and then we talk about it together. Weve talked about expecting to make something perfect the first time is not realistic and you have to practice techniques to get it down. I've talked to a couple friends who are artsy and have shown him their work, and one or two of them have volunteered to answer any questions that he has, but I'm not putting the pressure on him.

        I figure if it's something he loves, he will put the time into on his own and improve on his own time. If he wants to take a class, he will come to me, or maybe, if I see a lot of effort, I will offer a class.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks, everyone! I'll take all that into consideration.
          Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'd let him play by ear with his favorite songs. Then, maybe try to find sheet music or lead sheets for the songs. (You can try to introduce chords/keys this way, after he's already invested in the song.)

            Lead sheets seem to be aimed more at guitarists, but since they have they melody written out on a staff, and the chords written above the staff (to go along with the melody), it is at least a useful scaffolding to work with. (It may also be more fun for him, since there's an element of creativity in fleshing the chords out again.)
            1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
            -----
            http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth RootedPhoenix View Post
              I'd let him play by ear with his favorite songs.
              I've actually tried this. I don't know if he doesn't want to, or if he's afraid he won't do well, or what, but he seems to want to stay in his comfort zone. I think sometimes he has executive functioning issues (i.e. he sometimes has trouble making those kinds of decisions).

              I don't even know if I could pin down his favorite songs. I don't think he could, either. I mean, he's got a CD in his room with various genres on it (everything from older country to rock to classical to pop) that he occasionally listens to on his stereo.

              But as far as playing them on the keyboard, I've tried to get him to do it, with no success.

              I've even thought about finding simplified versions of classical pieces, like a simple version of Pachelbel's Canon, or possibly Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata for him to practice, but that hasn't really worked, either.
              Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

              Comment


              • #8
                The other thing we're struggling with right now is getting him to actually apply himself in various cases. Not just with music.

                For instance, he seems to pick up languages (or at least pronunciations) fairly quickly.

                It's like he'll pick up something, do it for a bit, then either get into a "comfort zone" with it (like the Tetris theme), or just seemingly lose interest. We struggle with this with his school work, too. He's very interested in Math, but doesn't really want to push himself beyond his "comfort zone".

                If he'd apply himself a little, he could be well on his way to being a polyglot with at least three or four languages, and things like that. He could also be farther ahead in STEM topics, too, I think.

                We're just really having trouble getting him to apply himself. We've even tried reasoning and pleading with him, and very little actually works.
                Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

                Comment


                • #9
                  have you asked him why? like is he afraid of taking a risk and failing? is it just laziness? like he gets bored with it quickly?

                  I'm just tossing out ideas, but could it be a form of ADD? Like when it's new it really grabs his attention, but once he masters the basics, it's no longer enough to keep his attention going?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth April View Post
                    have you asked him why? like is he afraid of taking a risk and failing? is it just laziness? like he gets bored with it quickly?
                    I try not to push, but I have asked him before. All I usually get is either some kind of frustration or "I don't know" in return. Sometimes has has trouble expressing himself.

                    I'm just tossing out ideas, but could it be a form of ADD? Like when it's new it really grabs his attention, but once he masters the basics, it's no longer enough to keep his attention going?
                    As someone who possibly has ADD myself, I have considered that possibility.
                    Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Honestly if he's like me all the attention and hovering would drive me away from it. maybe it's that thing he just wants to do now and then and not have a big deal made of it.
                      Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
                      Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X