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"Hey! Hands off my nuts!"
"No nuts are off-limits back here."
"No nuts are off-limits back here."
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"I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor -
"Nothing you sell here is of any use!"Comment
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NSFW... maybe NSFH...
Bultaco motorcyles. What were they thinking when they named them?
Didn't they know most guys prefer the performance and ride of Cowtacos?
(highlight if you wish..)I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.Comment
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"I have a spoon, I can hit anyone I want.""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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That is the most California name I've ever heard of.This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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Quoth Dreamstalker View Post
Reminds me of that story about the weather reporter who asked a coworker (supposedly on-air) about the "eight inches (of snow) you promised me last night". There's no indication it ever really happened, but it's still funny.Last edited by Pixelated; 05-18-2017, 01:52 AM.Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
~ Mr HeroComment
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This was one of mine: we've got a product with the word "maharaja" in the name. I introduced it to a customer one day and somehow came out with "marijuana" instead ...
Customer:
Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
~ Mr HeroComment
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Did that product call the kettle black?
Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.Comment
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Once, I had a coworker describe a product as having an LSD screen.Quoth Pixelated View PostThis was one of mine: we've got a product with the word "maharaja" in the name. I introduced it to a customer one day and somehow came out with "marijuana" instead ...
Customer:
"Wow, look at all the pretty colors!"This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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Quoth wolfie View PostDid that product call the kettle black?
Sad part is, it actually took me a couple of seconds to "get" that ...
Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
~ Mr HeroComment
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I have to keep that in mind when I replace my monitor ... "Can I have an LSD screen, please?"Quoth catcul View PostCustomer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
~ Mr HeroComment
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There's gotta be a joke about Windows-pane acid there somewhere...“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John RogersComment
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"I know you go down there once in a while, so I didn't know if you'd seen it or not.""I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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"If you are what you eat, everyone around here must eat a lot of assholes."
Another from today:
"I'll pay for the lesbians, but not the Asians. He doesn't seem to be that quick!"Last edited by Ghel; 06-08-2017, 09:14 PM."I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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"She's, I mean, you know, I mean, whatever, you know."
(This was apparently a complete thought, if you can call it that.)
Another from today (the second CW is the same person as above).
CW1: "Does it smell weird in there? Like church?"
CW2: "It does smell weird. Like the electrical panel smells like bandaids."Last edited by Ghel; 06-14-2017, 09:03 PM."I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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