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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • Quoth flyonthewall View Post
    Play Pokemon Go on the clock. But I do anyway. I even purchased a Pokemon Go Plus gadget that makes playing at work so much easier and more effective.
    How does that not kill your battery?

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    • When a 1st grade teacher writes a badly constructed sentence, I'm not allowed to say, "That's it. I'm getting you a dictionary and grammar guide for Christmas."

      If I see a woman wearing "distressed" jeans, I'm not allowed to say, "You're looking great after the accident."

      If I see a woman wearing a certain hair style, I'm not allowed to call her Sailor Moon. I am allowed to run away if she says, "In the name of the moon, I will punish you."
      Last edited by EricKei; 02-18-2018, 10:58 AM. Reason: triple merge
      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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      • I am not allowed to have a during shift drink.
        Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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        • Quoth Teysa View Post
          I am not allowed to have a during shift drink.
          what? I think this should say I am not allowed to have a drink during shift hours ???

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          • No, I worded it correctly. Sometimes the boss will let the employees have a free drink at the bar after their shift, aka a shift drink. I've been trying to convince him we should be allowed to have that drink during our shift, aka a during shift drink. The meanie won't go for it.
            Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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            • Couple I forgot about from the swamp:

              - not allowed to rip a SBD while assisting customers with perfume, and make a comment about "eau de toilette."
              -not allowed to refer to the Payless delivery driver we all hated as "the fat fuckup in the dirty blue shit."
              -or speculate as to whether his parents were related before they were married.
              -when a customer asks me where the rope is, not allowed to ask "Indoor, outdoor or bedroom?"
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • Although it would've been awesome, I was probably right not to get on the phone on my last day at the swamp and page my least-liked co-workers to the fuck off department.
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                • Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                  -or speculate as to whether his parents were related before they were married.
                  That's because you're in Wisconsin.In Mississippi it's taken as a given...
                  The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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                  • Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                    That's because you're in Wisconsin.In Mississippi it's taken as a given...
                    You'd think that matters, but....
                    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                    • I am not allowed to tell people who ask if we have silverware no, everything is finger food here. Souos, salads, whatever. It's all finger food.
                      Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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                      • I am not allowed to use the tannoy to tell customers who can't work out how to use the pumps that they are morons. I am also not allowed to add "You idiot" on the end of my tannoy "Please choose an option to pay".
                        People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                        My DeviantArt.

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                        • When installing a phone in a courtroom, I'm not allowed to say, "He shall hang from the gallows."
                          This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                          I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                          Comment


                          • When installing a computer in a kitchen, I'm not allowed to use the hunger stare.
                            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                            Comment


                            • Quoth catcul View Post
                              When installing a phone in a courtroom, I'm not allowed to say, "He shall hang from the gallows."
                              Well, THAT certainly takes all the fun out of your job!
                              Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                              ~ Mr Hero

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                              • I am not allowed to mock customers who ask if we have "Canadian tea."

                                Yes, because throughout this lovely country, we have SO many places that have the conditions in which tea flourishes ... especially, you know, the northern tundra areas, where you have maybe an inch of soil over solid bedrock.
                                Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                                ~ Mr Hero

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