So, after a long absence of sucky customers worthy of posting about, I finally found one this holiday season.
Enter Mom and Brat at 6:30pm, searching for parts to a school project that is (big surprise) due tomorrow! They have to present a diorama for the food chain of the Goldline Darter, a type of fish.
They knew nothing about the Goldline Darter, Percina aurolineata, found only in a few rivers in Georgia and Alabama, and preferring moderate to swift-flowing shallow channels characterized by the presence of cobbles, bedrock substrates, and profuse patches of Fusticia (water willow) and Podestemum (riverweed). The densitites of the populations have been decreasing over the last twelve years due to increased turbidity in the watershed upstream. I know all of this because they needed to find out what it ate and what ate it. And I was just foolish enough to use my internet access to help them out. Here's how it went.
Me: There is a lot of information on where it lives and what it looks like, but not a thing on what it eats.
Mom: nothing?
Brat: (playing with Rokenbok toys) Mom, this is fun! I want one!
Me: no, ma'am, I can't find anything so far.
Mom: Are you really looking!? This is due tomorrow and I don't want to have to go to a library to find this information!
Me: Any publications that do indepth studies of this fish are wildlife and biology journals. You can only get those at the library.
Mom: that's unacceptable! I'm not going to a library!
Brat: Mom! Look at this! Can I get one!
Mom: so you can't find anything. Great! Well, do you have a model of it or something?
Me: No. We won't have anything like that. We have a few sea creature toys in the bucket there (points) but we won't have a goldline darter.
Brat: Mommy, they have Webkinz! Can I have one?
Mom: None?
Me: Probably not.
Mom: This is ridiculous. *scoops through bucket* I can't believe you don't have what I need!
Me: We have modeling clay. She could make a model of one.
Brat: I don't wanna do that! Mom, can I get this kitty?
Mom: Here, we can repaint this little shark to look like one.
Brat: Just buy a toy of the fish, mom.
Mom: They don't have one.
Brat: That's stupid! Why not?
Mom: I don't know. It looks like we're just going to have to do it ourselves.
Brat: I don't want to. Can I get this webkinz kitty? I really want it.
Mom: No. We have to do your project.
Brat: But I want it!
Mom: C'mon, we're going to get this little shark and repaint it.
Brat: I don't want to! I want this kitty!
Mom: No! *turns to me* are you sure you can't find anything on what it eats? Or what eats it?
Me: Nope (actually, I have discovered that it was an invertivore, and ate snails, slugs, and worms, and was preyed upon by the Flattened Musk Turtle, Sternotherus depressus , but I was not going to relay that information to them)
Mom: well gee, thanks so much. We have this project due tomorrow and you can't help us at all! *pays for toy shark and calls Brat* c'mon! We've got to go over to the library! They aren't going to be any help here!
Brat: Mom, I don't want to go to the library! It's too late to do that! I want to go home and play my games!
So yeah, I know more than I need to know about the Goldline Darter now, and I have a funny feeling this child got an F. I hope that they learn how far effort goes, but they probably never will.
Enter Mom and Brat at 6:30pm, searching for parts to a school project that is (big surprise) due tomorrow! They have to present a diorama for the food chain of the Goldline Darter, a type of fish.
They knew nothing about the Goldline Darter, Percina aurolineata, found only in a few rivers in Georgia and Alabama, and preferring moderate to swift-flowing shallow channels characterized by the presence of cobbles, bedrock substrates, and profuse patches of Fusticia (water willow) and Podestemum (riverweed). The densitites of the populations have been decreasing over the last twelve years due to increased turbidity in the watershed upstream. I know all of this because they needed to find out what it ate and what ate it. And I was just foolish enough to use my internet access to help them out. Here's how it went.
Me: There is a lot of information on where it lives and what it looks like, but not a thing on what it eats.
Mom: nothing?
Brat: (playing with Rokenbok toys) Mom, this is fun! I want one!
Me: no, ma'am, I can't find anything so far.
Mom: Are you really looking!? This is due tomorrow and I don't want to have to go to a library to find this information!
Me: Any publications that do indepth studies of this fish are wildlife and biology journals. You can only get those at the library.
Mom: that's unacceptable! I'm not going to a library!
Brat: Mom! Look at this! Can I get one!
Mom: so you can't find anything. Great! Well, do you have a model of it or something?
Me: No. We won't have anything like that. We have a few sea creature toys in the bucket there (points) but we won't have a goldline darter.
Brat: Mommy, they have Webkinz! Can I have one?
Mom: None?
Me: Probably not.
Mom: This is ridiculous. *scoops through bucket* I can't believe you don't have what I need!
Me: We have modeling clay. She could make a model of one.
Brat: I don't wanna do that! Mom, can I get this kitty?
Mom: Here, we can repaint this little shark to look like one.
Brat: Just buy a toy of the fish, mom.
Mom: They don't have one.
Brat: That's stupid! Why not?
Mom: I don't know. It looks like we're just going to have to do it ourselves.
Brat: I don't want to. Can I get this webkinz kitty? I really want it.
Mom: No. We have to do your project.
Brat: But I want it!
Mom: C'mon, we're going to get this little shark and repaint it.
Brat: I don't want to! I want this kitty!
Mom: No! *turns to me* are you sure you can't find anything on what it eats? Or what eats it?
Me: Nope (actually, I have discovered that it was an invertivore, and ate snails, slugs, and worms, and was preyed upon by the Flattened Musk Turtle, Sternotherus depressus , but I was not going to relay that information to them)
Mom: well gee, thanks so much. We have this project due tomorrow and you can't help us at all! *pays for toy shark and calls Brat* c'mon! We've got to go over to the library! They aren't going to be any help here!
Brat: Mom, I don't want to go to the library! It's too late to do that! I want to go home and play my games!
So yeah, I know more than I need to know about the Goldline Darter now, and I have a funny feeling this child got an F. I hope that they learn how far effort goes, but they probably never will.
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