How was your Thursday?

[Antisocial_Worker]

Did your Thursday...

...involve a dwarf?

...involve a dwarf on oxygen carting around a tank bigger than they were, and another dwarf who was an amputee?

...involve these dwarves because the kitchen meth lab blew up and killed grandma?

...involve a woman in a cow pasture jumping up and down, barefoot, in the biggest, freshest cow plop she could find, screaming at the CPS investigator that, "I ain't afraid of you, you dumb fucking bitch?"

...involve a man wailing in the parking lot because his wife, who also managed an ice cream shop, got arrested for prostitution and now his pipeline of free ice cream cakes has dried up?

If not, then I'm sorry to inform you that your Thursday was not as interesting as mine was this week.

[Seanette]

Once you've recovered a bit, any of this shareable?

[An Haddock]

Man, I got nothing.

[taxguykarl]

You win....or lose?

[WishfulSpirit]

Nothing near that interesting. There are perks of working in a mid-range hotel in a nice, quiet suburb.

[Crossbow]

Well... um... I...


Yeah, I'm out.

[Kazim]

My thursday involved not feeling like i had to kill all of humanety.
So i guess it was all good

[wordgirl]

There is some paper on my desk, and I am expected to consult the paper from time to time as I type on my computer. Later I plan on less actual typing and more cutting and pasting.

Also, we ate lunch and now I have the rest of my soda here with me.

So yes, I am your fellow adrenaline junkie.

[Ghel]

My Thursday only involved having to awkwardly listen to a customer make vaguely racist statements while waiting for the title company to locate his deed. (The sellers were supposed to bring it with them, but accidentally left it at the bank where they got it notarized.)

[Dreamstalker]

Even my worst nights in the tenth circle of hell didn't come close to this. You win. And I wanna hear the story if/when it's shareable...hopefully not all of them are connected?

[morgana]

Woah . . .

I don't think anything in my life has been as *interesting* as your Thursday.

Details, please?

[crazyofficeclerk]

Not this week but there have been ones in the past that have come pretty close.

[Pixelated]

Woah . . .

I don't think anything in my life has been as *interesting* as your Thursday.

Details, please?

^^^This. Not even in my days as a reporter on a weekly paper.

[Shyla]

Poor Grandma. What a way to die.

[skeptic53]

Going for the silver medal here:

A lady with shortness of breath, pounding heart, night sweats and liver failure that all turned out to be due to her "all natural energy supplement" she buys online, plus the 8 oz of vodka she drinks every night to calm down from that.

A guy who needed a letter stating he was medically cleared to be fitted for a respirator to protect him from getting TB from infected elephants in a zoo.

A 60-year-old guy who has smoked for 45 years, has such bad hardening of the arteries he couldn't remember being seen 2 days ago. He lives alone and is caring for his 3 grandchildren ages 1, 6 & 8 while their parents are on a cruise. He can barely walk from a resistant foot infection. We had to increase his antibiotic which interferes with his blood thinner, so now he is at risk for severe bleeding if he falls. Fortunately his ex-wife is willing to step in and help with her grandkids.

Four people in one morning who were all in for the 3rd revisions of their FMLA paperwork, their various HR people kept asking for "more detail" on the forms. These forms will rot unseen in a file for the next 10,000 years. Representative example: a mechanic/machinist with severe vertigo, question asks "what job functions is he unable to do?" Answer "All job functions". Nope, need to list *specifically*EVERY job function he cannot do and explain *in detail* why severe dizziness, inability to stand, prevents him from doing each of his hundreds of job functions.

A favorite patient of 25+ years, I delivered both her kids, in to discuss bilateral metastatic breast cancer that wasn't there a year ago on her annual mammogram. Lots of tears on both our parts

A guy who has sudden onset 3 weeks ago of red face, severe fatigue. Has a history of kidney cancer and fatty liver, his liver tests are very high. Has had gallons of blood tests, MRI, CT, ultrasound, specialists galore, no one can figure out what's wrong. All tests normal except liver enzymes. He doesn't drink. He's not on medications, vitamins, supplements or herbs. He was in to talk about becoming depressed from the stress of it.

A suicidally depressed woman who doesn't tolerate any antidepressants and didn't like the one therapist she ever tried.

All in one morning, all had brief appointments. Plus 7 more unremarkable patients, phone messages, refill requests, labs to review and letters to be sent out, etc.

But no poopstomping or midgets.