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The Husband Store

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  • The Husband Store

    A brand new store opened in New York City that sells husbands. When women go in to buy a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the store. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down to lower floors except to exit the building!"

    So a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

    On the first floor, the sign on the door reads: FLOOR 1 -- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS.

    The second floor sign reads: FLOOR 2 -- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS AND LOVE KIDS.

    The third floor sign reads: FLOOR 3 -- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS AND ARE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING.

    "Wow!" she thinks. However, she feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: FLOOR 4 -- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS AND HELP WITH HOUSEWORK.

    "Oh, mercy me!" the shopper explains. "I can hardly stand it!"

    Still, she goes to the fifth floor, where the sign reads: FLOOR 5 -- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS, HELP WITH HOUSEWORK, AND HAVE A STRONG ROMANTIC STREAK.

    The woman is tempted to stay, but she desides to get the best. She heads to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: FLOOR 6 -- YOU ARE VISITOR NUMBER 31,456,012 TO THIS FLOOR. THERE ARE NO MEN ON THIS FLOOR. THIS FLOOR EXISTS SOLELY AS PROOF THAT WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT THE HUSBAND STORE.

    However, the owners of the Husband Store want to expand their market. To do so, they buy an empty store across the street from the Husband Store and convert it into the brand new Wife Store.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited by shoppers.
    I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

    Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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