Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Junior's Visit to the Farm

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Junior's Visit to the Farm

    One summer, Mom, Dad, and Junior all drove out to Kansas to visit Grandpa’s farm. The farm was an old-fashioned place near an abandoned military reservation and Junior immediately fell in love with it. The farm had lots of animals, a windmill, a barn with a loft and a haystack, a well with a bucket, big shady trees, a genuine outhouse, and lots of places to explore.

    One afternoon while Junior was out poking around an old building he found a hand grenade that looked just like the ones in the movies. Thinking it would be fun to surprise everyone with a huge explosion he took the grenade back to the farm and looked around for a good place to throw it. He decided on a spot near a big tree, pulled the pin and threw the grenade, but to his horror the grenade hit a springy branch that bounced the grenade toward the house. Junior ran after the grenade in a panic, determined to save the house from certain disaster, but then to Junior’s relief the grenade was caught by a clothesline and flung toward the outhouse. The grenade hit the roof and bounced into the vent where it rattled down the stack and into the pit. Junior dashed out of the yard and ducked behind the chicken coop just as the grenade went off with an enormous explosion.

    Junior watched in fascination as the whole outhouse disappeared in a plume of smoke and splinters that soon began to rain down all around the farm. The roof in a tree, the door in the corral, Grandpa’s pipe in the pigpen, Grandpa’s hat on the tool shed, and finally, Grandpa, who landed with a resounding "OOF!" right in the middle of the yard.

    Hearing the commotion outside, Dad ran out of the house and into the yard where Grandpa was struggling to his feet. "Grandpa, what happened out here?"

    "Beats the hell out of me," Grandpa replied. "But that’s the last time I lights my pipe while I’m fartin’!"

    Kadrian

  • #2
    lol

    That reminds me of the one about the inquest into an old man's death on the farm. He appeared to have suffocated on the toilet.

    His grandson gave this evidence: "The day before Grandpa died, a drilling team from a mining company came out to drill some exploration bores. Big, deep holes, 1-2 miles deep. Dad thought that one would be a great spot to put the outhouse - no need to dig a hole, and a hole that deep would last quite a while. So he hooked the outhouse up to the tractor and dragged it over."

    The coroner asked "What's that got to do with your grandfather's death?"

    "Well, to tell if it's time to move the outhouse, Grandpa was in the habit of dropping one out and holding his breath until it hit the bottom..."

    Comment

    Working...
    X