Sucktomer Random Thoughts Thread

[dalesys]

Some people should just be shot.

The challenge is finding a cannon of small enough caliber to match their ethics, principles, standards and intellect.

[Dreamstalker]

Of course, I've never worked in an upper-scale store like yours. Perhaps all those expensive spices are interfering with their...well, heck. I've got nothing.

The real headscratcher about most of these exchanges is there's a "real" grocery store in the same mall and one across the street; just walking in the door one can see we don't even consider competing with them (the company as a whole also doesn't do artificial preservatives).

This area has a lot of new money and the occasional attitude to match (J has said that even working in NYC he'd never seen the condescending, rude and outright bizarre questions/behavior we get). When someone gets snippy with me I just keep repeating the answer with a smile, eventually they get fed up and go bother someone else....who tells them the same thing. Our department manager is good at cutting these idjits down a few pegs without them realizing he's doing it until later.

[raw1989]

Screaming at me threw the phone is not going to change my answer.

[WishfulSpirit]

Listen you idiots voicemail was invented so you can leave a message. Asking me to transfer you to a manager and then calling right back and saying "I got voicemail" is annoying and rude. It's the weekend. Sales isn't HERE on the weekend. The engineering manager isn't here on the weekend. Calling me right back isn't going to change that. I don't have a magic wand I can wave to make them appear. No I can't page them. No I don't have their cell number (well actually I do but you are NOT going to be allowed to call them at home because you want to try to sell us a new PBX system or something). Also, Ms. Bridezilla, 9pm on a Saturday isn't the best time to call to talk about booking a wedding block, and you, jerkface, can talk to accounting about your bill on Monday. Bye now.

[raw1989]

No I can not pull a sooner install address out my butt for you because you will cancel if its not installed before this date. If it was available the system will tell me.

[Captain Neon]

No, Ace, I won't warrant this part that you can't figure out how to install. It works as designed, the tool marks and chipped teeth are from your improper installation. No, I don't have your core in the back some where. They get sent back to our warehouse daily. I can't tell you what I would do if I were you, you might punch me in the nose.

That part you ordered two weeks ago does not stay here for eternity. If you haven't already paid for it, it goes back in a week. We have warehouses and delivery trucks to provide non-stocking inventory.

Telling me that you NEED your part NOW, does not make it magically appear. There is no way that someone can go down to the warehouse and pick it up for you. It is Sunday, the warehouse has been closed for three hours, and we close the store in half an hour. Lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine or anyone else. I can order it now, and it will be here at 10:30 AM on Monday. Customer service only goes so far!

I don't know how this myth got started that guys working at parts stores are actually mechanics in disguise. Mechanics wanting to make a few extra bucks after work, do not work at parts stores for minimum wage! They work in their garages fixing people's cars for $50/hr! I don't know why your car is making that weird noise, and, no, I won't "help" you fix it here in the dark in the parking lot. Really, I haven't a clue how to fix it. Take it to someone that does. We're closing the store in half an hour. I'm only getting 6 hours of sleep tonight as it is before I have to go to my full-time job in the morning. The last thing I want to do is "help" you fix your car for free!

We have turned off the OPEN sign, but we can't close the store until you leave. Please go to the bar two blocks from here and build your burgeoning bromance there. I don't want to hear about your emissions systems cheats and various other engine performance hacks. I want to go home, grab some supper, and get my self to sleep!

[Captain Neon]

5 qts. High Mileage Oil & Filter for $x.xx does not mean we will change your oil, replace the filter, and recycle the oil and filter for $x.xx. Do you see any overhead doors where you would drive your car in for said service? There are 4 doors to this place, only one is public access, and none of them are big enough to drive a car into.

I will sell you 5 qts. of high mileage oil and an oil filter for $x.xx. Presumably, you would then change your own oil, but you can do anything you want with your purchase within the bounds of the law. I ain't changing it for you for free. Go to Jiffy Lube if you want someone to change your oil for you.

I've been working at the Green Shamrock for 18 months and you are the first person to actually think that labour should be included with your oil and filter purchase.

[gerund]

No, Ace, I won't warrant this part that you can't figure out how to install. It works as designed, the tool marks and chipped teeth are from your improper installation.

Reminds me of a story in an old Electronics magazine. This was back in the 1980s when VCR tape players were ubiquitous. Those of you who have pulled the lid off one will know what it looks like, but here is a picture for those who have not seen one before.

So the head looks like that because it is a helical scan, so the tape wraps around it - the head spins and the tape moves.

The story goes that the technician was given this VCR with the story "It doesn't work". So he took the lid off and everything looked wrong. The head was straight up and down. Closer inspection of the drum revealed vice grip marks either side of it. The tech telling the story surmised that someone had used a pair of multigrips to straighten the head.

Of course it was not repairable. It would have needed a new drum, drum mount and a new chassis.

[Lace Neil Singer]

To certain customers,

Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, come into the petrol station with your store card in your mouth, and then hand it to me and expect me to scan it. I will not, cuz get this, it's been in your mouth and I don't want to touch your saliva. I will make you swipe it yourself; if you can't or won't do this, then tough shit, you don't get your points.

[Captain Neon]

No, really, you've been in twice and we've tested your expensive two month old part both times. It works as designed. Do you think making up some story about how your own unobserved test means it should be warranted will get someone to warrant over the phone now? Third time ain't the charm!

We have to test it. Any store that will warrant parts with a phone call won't be open long. It's not that we don't trust you (well, maybe we don't); we simply don't trust anyone. We are not responsible for your ineptitude.

Perhaps some fool will give you another part, but it won't be any of us working nights and weekends at this store.

[Slave to the Phone]

^^^ Yahbut...he looked his car problem up on utube and a friend told him that it was good advice. How DARE you say that something online could possibly be wrong!!!

[Foxbite]

Coming back multiple times before I've sent you an email notifying your equipment is ready won't get it ready faster. On the contrary, you are actually slowing me and by proxy yourself down by coming back to demand the status of your equipment. 3 times in 2 days when the standard time is 3-6 business days?
NO. It's NOT ready. See you tomorrow to tell you the same thing I guess.

[WishfulSpirit]

To the asshole in 320: complaining about the same thing multiple times a day (which has been checked and found to be a false complaint) and then playing loud music at night is a bad idea. We desperately want an excuse to kick your butt out. You're giving it to us.

[Teysa]

Yes, we purposely had our second register go down just to annoy you.

[raw1989]

why is it when ever I go to get gas the pay at the pump is down no it was not an option to wait I had 22 miles left on my tank so I had to go inside to pay trying to get to work earlier to get more overtime.