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    Sightings I wrote up several days ago! (Sorry, couldn't think of a title, my brain is fried)

    Zombie Apocalypse Grocery Store part 2,643


    The stores in this town seemingly always operate in frenzied terror. Today was worse, because this grocery store had senior day. Which means the frenzied masses were combined with the elderly "I have all day" browsers. Good luck getting through the aisles, there's bottlenecks of the over 70, who stopped to read their lists, or to randomly comment to their shopping companion about the quality of the cottage cheese. Then there's the under 21 crowd zipping around like red blood cells through clogged arteries.

    What's the lane?


    After getting screamed at trying to get to the store, (I'm not going to go into oncoming traffic so you can cut past me) now all I want is to get home! There are three lanes. One is left hand turn only, the other two are both straight or right hand turn. I'm in the center lane going straight. Guy to the left of me (in the LEFT ONLY lane) comes inches from hitting me as he abruptly swerves to cut across all three lanes to turn right.

    Crime in Pleasantville


    So it's great weather, and I decided to take a walk. As I round a corner there are three guys milling on the sidewalk. They're kinda out of place for this neighborhood, which is mostly young hipster families. All white trash gangsters, complete with one of the guys on a bike way too little for him. They appear to notice me and start moving. I'm relieved when one dashes across the street, since I figure they aren't going to bother me as I walk by. Then a cop car slooowly drives by. One of the two remaining takes off running right at me, and I have to step into someone's yard to avoid him. The cop car turns his lights on and guns it down a residential street. There's multiple sirens getting closer. After a moment I realize the last guy is walking behind me. I was fairly unconcerned, although now I think that should have been scary. Anyway, a cop blasts down from the other direction and parks between the median (this street is divided by large medians with grass and small trees with periodic spaces to drive through) and points right behind me and says "you!" I glance back and the guy was just a few yards from me. I keep walking, but I can hear the cop ask where the guy was walking from. All the side streets are now blocked off by cop cars. I give up on my walk and sit in a park for a while before going home. I think this is what it was about, but it's hard to tell, I live in the area where the cops found the stolen car, but not in the neighborhood where it says they were looking for the thieves, though it is a smallish area, really.
    Replace anger management with stupidity management.

  • #2
    Quoth notalwaysright View Post
    Then there's the under 21 crowd zipping around like red blood cells through clogged arteries.
    An ability obtained in high school, I'm sure. There's nothing quite like a crowded high school hallway to teach you how to maneuver crowds.

    Which reminds me of the time I was walking behind the tallest guy in the school (6'11"), letting him clear the way for me. Suddenly, he turned right into a classroom, and I nearly tripped over the shortest guy in the school (about 4'6" and not visible in my direct line of sight). /OT
    The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

    You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.

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    • #3
      Quoth notalwaysright View Post
      Guy to the left of me (in the LEFT ONLY lane) comes inches from hitting me as he abruptly swerves to cut across all three lanes to turn right.
      Happened to me in my home town far too often for me to think it was just one jerk who didn't care for the rules of the road. I started expecting it at one intersection in particular, and it was scary how good I got at predicting who would make that move.

      Quoth Aragarthiel View Post
      An ability obtained in high school, I'm sure. There's nothing quite like a crowded high school hallway to teach you how to maneuver crowds.
      Yep. Six minutes to get from one end of the school to the other between classes or get marked "tardy" and lose points, stopping to pick up / drop off books at locker on the way, and that's assuming that the previous teacher didn't decide to keep talking after the bell rang.
      I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
      - Bill Watterson

      My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
      - IPF

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      • #4
        Quoth HawaiianShirts View Post

        Yep. Six minutes to get from one end of the school to the other between classes or get marked "tardy" and lose points, stopping to pick up / drop off books at locker on the way, and that's assuming that the previous teacher didn't decide to keep talking after the bell rang.
        Especially if your teacher was the type who would say "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I dismiss you."

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        • #5
          Quoth KellyHabersham View Post
          Especially if your teacher was the type who would say "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I dismiss you."
          Used to have some of those.

          Oddly, having a good percentage of your class be late, and complain when they get in trouble, makes it so the bell happens seconds before or after the teacher. XD
          I am a Blank Space for spacing purposes, ignore me.
          In order to treat someone as your equal, you first need to believe both: that they are your equal, and that you are their's.

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