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Me: Thank your for calling Frauds R Us. My name is Ding-A-Ling. How may I help you?
SC: Yes, my phone bill is higher and I want to know why.
Me: OK, let me check your account. Well, I see recently a change was made where an employee discount was removed. Are you an employee?
SC: No, my roommate was, but he moved and I put the account in my name.
Me: When did he move out?
SC: Six months ago. I just called last month to change the name.
Me: Well, that's when you lost that discount, maam.
SC: I demand you put it back on there. Nobody told me I would lose that when I changed the name over.
Me: Yes, we did. I have it noted here (and boy, was it noted!) that we advised you of this. From what the notes say, you agreed to it, although you stated your disappointment.
SC: Nobody told me my phone bill would go higher, just that I would not have that discount any more! (Am I missing something here?)
Moral of this was, this lady kept the phone in her old roommate's name, and had she not called in, she would have continued getting this discount.
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Or this one:
Me: Thank you for calling Frauds R Us Cable TV. My name is Ding-A-Ling. How may I help you.
SC: I called yesterday about my channel 57 being fuzzy, and now today I don't have it at all. In fact, I have no channels after 13.
Me: OK. Looking at the account, it appears those channels were removed because you do not subscribe to the expanded cable package. It appears that when our technician came to fix that, he also had an order on his sheet to block those channels.
SC: But, that's not fair! I had those channels for five years, and the moment I report a problem, I lose everything! (DING, DING! Maybe you should not have reported your one precious channel, Dipshit!)
Me: Well, I'm sorry, sir, but if you want those channels back, you would be required to pay what other customers are paying. We cannot give you expanded cable unless you agree to pay for it.
SC: (Hung up, but later spoke to four more reps and two supervisors, but none of them would cave in to this guy).
Had it been me, I would have not reported channel 57 not working being I could probably care less about that channel anyway.
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And finally:
Me: Thank you for (well, you know the rest)...............
SC: Hi. I want to know why I am being billed for my internet service.
Me: Well, maam, you have our service and have to pay for it like every other customer does.
SC: That's outrageous! This started when I called in last month about an issue I was having getting connected. I have had your service for six years and never had a bill.
Me: You are correct, maam. You were not being billed, but apparently when you called in with your problem, our representative caught this mistake and made sure it was submitted for billing.
SC: What? Nobody told me this.
Me: Well, a few months before, there is a note here where a rep noted that you knew you were not being billed and wondered if it was a mistake. (The rep actually noted that when he pressed his "mute" button on the phone, he overheard this lady bragging to her friend how she was getting free internet, and wondered when we would catch on to it. She conveniently forgot this discussion).
SC: I demand you cancel this now!
Me: Not a problem, maam. However, you are still required to pay your current bill and we will not credit you since you have received free internet for six years.
SC: I should never have called in!
(We have a winner!)
I canceled her internet, as she requested. Yet, later on in the day, she called back upset that she could not log on to her account! Her response was she really did not think we would do that to her.
SC: Yes, my phone bill is higher and I want to know why.
Me: OK, let me check your account. Well, I see recently a change was made where an employee discount was removed. Are you an employee?
SC: No, my roommate was, but he moved and I put the account in my name.
Me: When did he move out?
SC: Six months ago. I just called last month to change the name.
Me: Well, that's when you lost that discount, maam.
SC: I demand you put it back on there. Nobody told me I would lose that when I changed the name over.
Me: Yes, we did. I have it noted here (and boy, was it noted!) that we advised you of this. From what the notes say, you agreed to it, although you stated your disappointment.
SC: Nobody told me my phone bill would go higher, just that I would not have that discount any more! (Am I missing something here?)
Moral of this was, this lady kept the phone in her old roommate's name, and had she not called in, she would have continued getting this discount.
*******************
Or this one:
Me: Thank you for calling Frauds R Us Cable TV. My name is Ding-A-Ling. How may I help you.
SC: I called yesterday about my channel 57 being fuzzy, and now today I don't have it at all. In fact, I have no channels after 13.
Me: OK. Looking at the account, it appears those channels were removed because you do not subscribe to the expanded cable package. It appears that when our technician came to fix that, he also had an order on his sheet to block those channels.
SC: But, that's not fair! I had those channels for five years, and the moment I report a problem, I lose everything! (DING, DING! Maybe you should not have reported your one precious channel, Dipshit!)
Me: Well, I'm sorry, sir, but if you want those channels back, you would be required to pay what other customers are paying. We cannot give you expanded cable unless you agree to pay for it.
SC: (Hung up, but later spoke to four more reps and two supervisors, but none of them would cave in to this guy).
Had it been me, I would have not reported channel 57 not working being I could probably care less about that channel anyway.
*********************************
And finally:
Me: Thank you for (well, you know the rest)...............
SC: Hi. I want to know why I am being billed for my internet service.
Me: Well, maam, you have our service and have to pay for it like every other customer does.
SC: That's outrageous! This started when I called in last month about an issue I was having getting connected. I have had your service for six years and never had a bill.
Me: You are correct, maam. You were not being billed, but apparently when you called in with your problem, our representative caught this mistake and made sure it was submitted for billing.
SC: What? Nobody told me this.
Me: Well, a few months before, there is a note here where a rep noted that you knew you were not being billed and wondered if it was a mistake. (The rep actually noted that when he pressed his "mute" button on the phone, he overheard this lady bragging to her friend how she was getting free internet, and wondered when we would catch on to it. She conveniently forgot this discussion).
SC: I demand you cancel this now!
Me: Not a problem, maam. However, you are still required to pay your current bill and we will not credit you since you have received free internet for six years.
SC: I should never have called in!
(We have a winner!)I canceled her internet, as she requested. Yet, later on in the day, she called back upset that she could not log on to her account! Her response was she really did not think we would do that to her.
- oh well, it's only an extra $35 a month for digital cable.
What a way to run a business!
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