Get off my bumper!

[machinest]

Back when I use to drive pizza I had 1/2 a grill from a wrecing yard hung off of my tow ball, it tended to discoragge the tailgaters.

[blas]

This morning I had a tailgater who was.....well, more of a duckling than anything else.

A duckling is someone who follows you closely, but refuses to pass you. Kind of passive-aggressive, especially when out in the country, nobody obeys the double yellow line.

Once we got back into town, this drooling idiot FOLLOWED ME THROUGH THE STOP SIGN!

Yes, you read that right. I stopped, I went...and he followed me! Didn't even stop!

[mikoyan29]

This morning I had a tailgater who was.....well, more of a duckling than anything else.

A duckling is someone who follows you closely, but refuses to pass you. Kind of passive-aggressive, especially when out in the country, nobody obeys the double yellow line.

I hate those people. I really love it when you do finally have a chance to get over, they take their sweet time passing you. Meanwhile you get stuck behind a truck or something and have to wait another 10 minutes to get back in the other lane to go a normal speed.

[JLRodgers]

....My reaction to incidents like this, or any speed demon zooming up behind me, then cutting around me before speeding off into the distance is always the same:

"I hope you die in a fiery auto crash."

My parents indirectly witnessed such a thing once (saw car before the accident, and the debris after)... long story short, people driving 120+ in a sports car shouldn't play chicken with a semi trailer, and trees are surprisingly stronger than steel.

[DeltaSierra]

What bothers me even more than tailgaters are tailgaters who tailgate when you two are the ONLY ones on a freaking three-lane highway, and you're doing the speed limit (or slightly above,) and are already driving in the slow lane. I've lost count the number of times this has happened to me. Even if I slow down, they still hang on my bumper. HELLO - there's another TWO EMPTY LANES you can use!!!! I always end up quickly switching to the right lane and laying on my brakes so they shoot past me. I then get back into the slow lane and go my merry way.

[blas]

Neecy, that happens to me almost on a nightly basis. Those damn ducklings, I swear.

They have miles upon miles to pass me, and they simply refuse and would rather ride my bumper.

[Nohbody]

The last time, I had a Ford Expedition camping out on my bumper, I slowed down to the speed limit (at the time I was rarely less than 15mph over if traffic allowed), and just hung in the middle of a 3-lane interstate, acting like I didn't have a care in the world.

If they don't want to get their together, the hell with 'em.

-----

And on a related note to tailgaters in general, stories like the ones told in this thread are the reason that, when I had a Taurus station wagon, I was sorely tempted to see about fitting an SRM-10 or something in the back end that would pop up out of the roof, and blow away any jerkwad that thought it was fun to tailgate me.

Entirely unrealistic, I know, even setting aside the lack of Battletech rocket packs, and arguably juvenile, but damn did the thought give me all sorts of genuine warmfuzzies.

[Stormraven]

I want an old steel 'tank' car. Fit it with a more modern engine for economy, but I remember a story told by someone who drove just such a car.

An SUV cut across several lanes of traffic and clipped their front corner. Did no damage to their car - didn't even wake their child in the back seat - but shredded the side of the SUV.

That would be a great car to deal with tailgaters in, I think.

[mikoyan29]

And on a related note to tailgaters in general, stories like the ones told in this thread are the reason that, when I had a Taurus station wagon, I was sorely tempted to see about fitting an SRM-10 or something in the back end that would pop up out of the roof, and blow away any jerkwad that thought it was fun to tailgate me.

but imagine the heat you'd build up...Probably would have to shut down.

[Chromatix]

Hence the bumper stickers for Land Rovers and Volvos: "Your Skip Stops Here --v", pointing at the towbar.

Anecdotally, there was once a multi-vehicle shunt at a level crossing somewhere in Britain. The only car that was able to drive away from the scene was an old Volvo 240, which needed... a new towball cover.

[Nohbody]

but imagine the heat you'd build up...Probably would have to shut down.

First off, I forgot SRMs only come in 2/4/6 per pack, and can't be individually fired. Ugh, I've not BTed in like forever.

That said, I'm talking SRMs, not ultra AC/20s or whatnot.

[blas]

Hence why I miss my 87 Tempo...that thing was just a beast, and wouldn't suffer much cosmetic damage if some dumb Yuppie hit it.

[wolfie]

First off, I forgot SRMs only come in 2/4/6 per pack, and can't be individually fired. Ugh, I've not BTed in like forever.

That said, I'm talking SRMs, not ultra AC/20s or whatnot.

Actually, I'd suggest a bunch of small lasers, gang-fired. Bozo drivers are close enough that the limited range doesn't matter, you'd get decent damage for minimal heat, and unlike SRMs, LRMs, ACs (Ultra AC/20 is EXTREMELY bad in this regard), or even MGs, even with the typical bozo population on the road you'll never have to worry about empty magazines.